Posted on 05/05/2007 11:47:54 AM PDT by Huntress
Amanda Onnis just wanted a nice wedding.
That's why, when the 33-year-old unmarried cosmetics saleswoman discovered she was pregnant last November, she panicked. She had known her boyfriend only a few months and recently moved from Boston to the Denver area to live with him.
He immediately asked her to marry him. She figured they'd better elope. After all, it wouldn't be long before she would start to show.
Still, a part of her heart broke to give up her girlhood dream of a lavish ceremony and a really great dress.
But, in the end, she didn't.
On April 21, with a very pregnant belly swathed in many yards of satin and jeweled lace, Onnis married Bearz Garcia, 34, in Colorado, complete with three bridesmaids, a catered dinner and a guest list of 140. Her baby is due July 10.
Brides have been getting married pregnant for as long as there have been fathers toting shotguns, and due dates always can be fudged. What has changed are attitudes about the acceptability of mixing up the whole love, marriage, baby carriage order of things.
According to the National Center for Health Statistics, in 2004, roughly 1.5 million babies, about 36 percent of all births, were born to unmarried women.
Those numbers signal a jump-start to the single-motherhood trend that had leveled off during the mid- to late 1990s. The previous high was in 1994, when the Census Bureau reported about 30 percent of babies were born to unmarried mothers and about one in four women were pregnant when they got married.
"The world has changed. Pregnancy is something that no longer needs to be hidden," says Isabel Sawhill of the Brookings Institution, who studies children and families. She adds she's just glad couples like Onnis and Garcia still think marriage and children go together no matter the order.
And when culture shifts, can retail be far behind?
Mall maternity stores are now featuring their own line of bridal gowns. So are several Internet sites catering exclusively to the pregnant bride.
Jessica Iverson of Santa Barbara, Calif., founded Maternity Bride in 2004 after she was unable to find a decent wedding gown to cover her growing belly. She and her boyfriend first thought they would wait to marry until after the baby was born, but around her sixth month of pregnancy, traditional urges kicked in.
"I went to a bridal salon, but they didn't treat me that well," she remembers, "I gave up and went online and spent several days trying to find something. It was pretty upsetting."
She ended up spending $250 for a dress five sizes too big, then paying another $300 for alterations. After the wedding and the birth of her daughter, she decided there was an untapped market. Today her maternity wedding gowns are in a handful of bridal salons in this country and in England. The bulk of her sales, however, come from online sales.
When Iverson did an informal poll of bridal salons some owners said as many as one in six of their brides were pregnant when they came shopping.
Some speculate celebrity couples have a hand in boosting this trend. Think Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes who married seven months after the birth of their daughter, or couples like Keri Russell and Shane Deary or Matt Damon and Luciana Barroso who married after announcing a baby was on the way.
"I think what celebrities do impacts our society tremendously," says Rebecca Matthias, president and creative director of Mothers Work, the maternity retail giant.
Until very recently when a celebrity became pregnant she would usually go into seclusion. Today she flaunts it.
This spring Mothers Work's stores, including Mimi Maternity, Pea in the Pod and Motherhood Maternity, have introduced a line of wedding gowns. While the stores always have carried a dress that could be used in a wedding, the idea of designating a bridal line is new, says Matthias.
Onnis admits she did worry a little about what others would think, especially their families. Hers is a traditional Italian family; his are Jehovah's Witnesses.
While initially disappointed, both sides of the family did come around and grew excited by both the prospect of a wedding and a soon-to-follow grandchild.
In fact it was her future mother-in-law who persuaded Onnis to follow her dream of a big wedding.
"She told me I deserved this recognition," Onnis said, "And you know what? She's right." Published May 4, 2007
My wife was pregnant when we married. She wasn’t showing but it was a tight fit. We’re still married 18 years later with two kids.
This isn’t “almost like” - it’s actually like.
I’m glad the boyfriend is willing to do the right thing - but from the looks of her - they waited a long time to plan the wedding.
So—do like people used to do—have the wedding ASAP with not a lot of fan-fare.
Um. Okay.
Later pingout.
Good for them doing the right thing - getting married and not having an abortion. The timing is not necessarily that unfortunate a detail either - they will be blessed with a baby sooner rather than later. I'll take that over the current lifestyle in vogue for many people today - no children and no marriage. Yes, it is better to plan things out, but lemonade is pretty good too.
That is what I thought. This is waiting a little too late for my tastes, but better a wedding with a very pregnant bride than an abortion.
I second that.
Describes us all, you know?
One of the first things my sister asked me when I told her I was engaged 10 years ago was, “Are you wearing white or off-white?” Hmm...Why do you think she asked me that? I wore white, by the way, and for the traditional reason.
Speaking of shotgun weddings:
A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee. “What’s the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?” she asked.
“Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?” he asked.
“Yes, I do,” she replied.
“Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?”
“Yes, I remember.”
“Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, ‘Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?”
“Yes, I do,” she said.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, “You know...I would have gotten out today.”
At least give the couple some credit for getting married
LOL. See tagline.
How about attaching a caution placard to the dress reading 'Baby on Board'.
That’s what reminded me of the joke... LOL!
But being self-righteous is SO much more fun!
As we all know, the NYT lost that moniker years ago when it when it decided to turn immediately left and Anti-American.
When a woman is 33 years old unmarried and pregnant.
Its all a part of the oldest trap ever set for a man.
I wouldnt doubt the man had asked several times. “Are you on the pill?” Still a man is responsible for where he plants his seed a man of 35 should be on the alert for this one.
The problem is people wanting to follow everything that comes out of hoolyweird.
Yes, before movies and all the glamorization, people avoid sex. They hated it. And if they happened to have sex by accident, then they certainly didn’t enjoy it.
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