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Iowahawk: Is That A Gun In Your Pocket?
Iowahawk | 04/27/2007 | David Burge

Posted on 04/27/2007 6:05:40 PM PDT by dighton

[Found in a dumpster behind the Glass Bowl in Toledo, Ohio - the first draft of Dan Simpson’s gun control public policy masterpiece]

.
LAST week’s tragedy at Virginia Tech in which a mentally disturbed person gunned down 32 of America’s finest - intelligent young people with futures ahead of them - once again puts the phenomenon of an armed society into focus for Americans.

Let’s do the math: (a) those two Virgina Tech guns killed an average of 16.5 people; (2) by conservative estimates, 240 million guns are wandering aimlessly around America’s mean streets; therefore (iii) when these crazy guns finally snap, they will kill (16.5 x 240 million) = 4 billion people -- wiping out not only Virginia Tech, but the entire ACC and NCAA Division I-A itself. In this post-gun apocalypse there won’t be enough survivors to bury the dead, let alone fill a decent bracket at the NCAA basketball tournament.

Obviously something must be done to stop this impending March Madness. But when people talk about doing something about guns in America, it often comes down to this: “How could America disarm even if it wanted to? There are so many guns out there.”

To this smart-alecky question, a sane person would retort, “what difference does it make what America wants to do?” But, because I have little or no power to influence the “if” part of the issue, I will stick with the “how,” and later I will move on to the “even.” And before anyone starts to hyperventilate and think I’m some wacky crazed liberal zealot wanting to pry his precious gun from his cold, dead hands, I would first like to share my experience of guns, before outlining my commonsense plan for taking your guns.

Continued . . .


TOPICS: Editorial; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: banglist; dansimpson; guns; iowahawk; parody; satire; toledoblade; virginiatech
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To: dighton

21 posted on 04/27/2007 8:40:04 PM PDT by SkyPilot
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To: dighton; IowaHawk

http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=25279&only&rss


22 posted on 04/27/2007 9:01:14 PM PDT by aculeus
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To: aculeus

Bump, with a tip o’ the hat to LGF.


23 posted on 04/27/2007 9:22:15 PM PDT by dighton
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To: dighton

I’ve been thinking about this gun thing, one argument we hear is that guns need to be kept out of the hands of the “rednecks” who would be prone to “blasting everything in sight” if they were in a VT type situation. You see this brought up in nearly every gun control argument. Like on this “progressive” site;

http://www.phlogredux.org/messages/145666.html

Clicking through some of those comments we find this;

So if, when the shooter walked into that building...
http://www.phlogredux.org/messages/145728.html

“...several students standing up inside a building letting fly with live ammo in all different directions is your idea of *safety*? That’s “doing something,” all right. Something stupid. How many massacres have CCWs affected, anyway?”

There you have it. Next, we find out the progressives, Jack and Silver are expert shots by clicking through this comment;

Make more laws like the gunshow loophole!
http://www.phlogredux.org/messages/145798.html

and;

here in the land of “gun & knife” shows . . .
http://www.phlogredux.org/messages/145962.html

Notice Silver’s reply to Ricardo B. Largo here;

Hey retard...
http://www.phlogredux.org/messages/146029.html

“... but it wasn’t needed. My father was a small arms instructor, and I got my Marksman’s badge aged 14. I also beat a group of Police marksmen last time I guested at a gun club. I am a dead eye SoB, and I don’t need a lecture on the subject, thanks.

PS, I only mention my aptitude with firearms to dispense with the ‘hoplophobe’ label that gets thrown around. I am pro gun control, but certainly no ‘hoplophobe’, I enjoy shooting guns, but in a safe environment surrounded by skilled people. “

And here;

You’re a “dead eye” in the UK?
http://www.phlogredux.org/messages/146195.html

“... I could shoot you dead with with a handgun at 100m, 60m if you were running away. With a rifle I could take whichever of your eyeballs I chose at 100m, and kill you easily at 600m.
Skeet shooting with a shotgun I average 6/10 except on the ‘Driven Game’ where my score drops to 4/10. This is because primarily I have shot rifles, and tend to lock my aim, which is detrimental in this case.

But perhaps you weren’t listening, my father was a small arms instructor in Her Majesties Armed Forces. I wasn’t taught by some hick, or 2nd rater, but my father who has survived live fire exchanges.

My experience has shown me just how deadly guns are, and at what range. Therefore, I think it sensible to have controls on them. I am even against the Police carrying guns routinely, but I certainly am not ignorant, nor scared of firearms.

You seem to infer that the lower rate of firerms ownership and use in the UK means that we have less skill in this area. Far from it! What it means is that people who do own firearms have passed safety tests, and are more skilled. Check out the per capita death rates in hunting accidents in the USA, and it’s comparable to our gun homicide rate! You rednecks kill as many people by accident as get killed in the UK by people aiming!”

Also Jack’s comment here;

“Me too.”
http://www.phlogredux.org/messages/146264.html

“We’ve both trotted this - out before, but Scott et al always discount it. I was in the gun club at Uni and I rated Marksman on rifles. I enjoyed guns and shooting. But that has nothing at all to do with my opinions on gun control. A decent person doesn’t think that his personal interests and pleasures should trump the wider issues of society. But then of course, a decent person isn’t a conservative. “

Now I’m suggesting cross-eyed rednecks are not the ones to be afraid of if they go nuts, the people who know how to shoot are. What happens when a expert shot like Silver or Jack goes nuts? The same thing that happened at VT, the guy was a good shot, not a cross-eyed redneck. Gun experts going nuts are the worst case senario, because they are experts. Yet the progressive leftists are afraid of cross-eyed rednecks who can’t hit what they are aiming at - how could you when in the throws of an orgasm from the gun you are holding?


24 posted on 04/28/2007 8:23:22 AM PDT by dynoman (Objectivity is the essence of intelligence. - Marylin vos Savant)
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To: dighton

.....continued....

I heard about a robbery this week where the two redneck thugs didn’t know how to open the folding knife they had and had to leave the scene of the crime in shame!

The trouble is no one knows when they or anyone else is at the point of mental breakdown. Some sort of mental breakdown is the common denominator in mass shootings.

Cross eyed rednecks will not do as much damage when/if they have a mental breakdown as an expert would.

So we end up back at the truth, “guns don’t kill people, people do”. Gun experts are far more dangerous than cross eyed rednecks, because they are experts. An smart expert will be able to find a gun anytime, anywhere, and if he reaches the point of a mental breakdown is the one who will do the most damage.

The solution appears to be a ban on learning how to shoot.


25 posted on 04/28/2007 8:24:05 AM PDT by dynoman (Objectivity is the essence of intelligence. - Marylin vos Savant)
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To: dighton
Aw, shucks! Now that you mention it, I don’t pull wings off flies nearly as much as in the past.

Now, if I could just get you to quit giving the neighborhood dawgs peanut butter ...


26 posted on 04/28/2007 9:20:56 AM PDT by MozarkDawg
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To: dighton

for later


27 posted on 04/28/2007 11:08:58 AM PDT by Clinging Bitterly (Oregon - a pro-militia and firearms state that looks just like Afghanistan .)
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