Can anyone please recommend some Child-rearing books?

[solon_where_r_u]

I am in the middle of a divorce and have a one-year old son whom I plan on raising as well as I can in the time I can spend with him. To this end, if anyone can recommend some character-centered child rearing books, I would be very grateful. Thanks..

[pgyanke]

My wife and I like Dr Dobson's "Bringing up Boys" and "Dare to Discipline" in addition to a number of good books from Dr Sears.

[Tax-chick]

I don’t recall whether those precise details are accurate, but I tossed “To Train Up a Child” in the trashcan rather than inflict it on the unfortunate child of someone who found it at the library’s rummage sale.

[Little Ray]

Dunno, but I have friend with four boys who swears by it. Probably more of a “spare the rod, spoil the child” book.

[elder5]

Good answer!
That was the first book that came to mind!

[Vigilanteman]

Nice except from the classic book So You Want to Raise a Boy?

[MaDeuce]

[Jeff Chandler]

bump for later

[stockpirate]

Giving the Love that Heals a Guide for Parents, by Dr. Harville Hendricks

This book will help you to heal the wounds to this little soul. And unless he father is a threat him, by all mens encourage him to love his dad and to have a good relationship with him.

Dr. Hendricks is also a minister as is his wife.

[keat]

My son found the “Captain Underpants” series fairly stimulating.

[Tax-chick]

Good luck! I like John Rosemund’s books. Very sensible.

[Jeff Chandler]

Whatever you do, remember that you are not raising a boy, you are raising a man.

Also, unless there is some extremely dangerous reason not to, make sure the boy spends as much time with his father as possible and never never run his father down in front of the boy.

[trumandogz]

child rearing books?

While your request is a little odd, you may want to consult NAMBLA.

I am sure NAMBLA has many books on the subject.

[MeanWestTexan]

That now comes in two-ply, BTW.

[keepitreal]

Not books, but from experience:

1) Consistency in discipline

2) Despite divorce, work as a team - don’t undermine each other’s authority in the eyes of the child. If a punishment has been given by the other (e.g. one week without t.v. for something), enforce it together, no matter whose house he is staying at.

3) Always demonstrate good moral character. Don’t lie to someone in front of him (even the little ones like “Tell Aunt Jean I’m in the shower”, while you’re standing right there). Model kindness and compassion to other people - not that phony baloney talk but no action, but have him see you being good to people who need help, even when you are having a bad day.

4) Always remind him of the consequences of his actions. When he does something that hurts someone else, show him how his actions hurt others. When he does something good for someone else (like befriending the bullied kid) show him how his bravery and kindness have made a difference in someone else’s life.

5) If you are religious, take him to church, where he can see a whole community of adults who live their faith.

and of course: love, love, love

Good luck to you!

[TChris]

I am in the middle of a divorce and have a one-year old son whom I plan on raising as well as I can in the time I can spend with him.

I have two sons as well as a daughter. They're all teenagers now, and they've all turned out pretty well despite a divorce nearly ten years ago.

Here are some things I've learned.

1. If you're Christian (or, even if you're not :-) ) Teach him to read the Bible and to pray. This is especially effective when he occasionally catches you reading the Bible and praying.
2. Good parenting is difficult. Make the effort to do the right thing, not the easy thing.
3. Doing the right thing will sometimes make your son angry with you for a while. Expect it and do the right thing anyway.
4. Children need and want firm, consistent boundaries of right and wrong. Decide early on what those boundaries will be and don't move them around. Live within the moral boundaries yourself.
5. Express your love for your son in word and in deed, regularly. Especially after discipline, you'll need to reassure him that he's still loved. Discipline, forgive and love.
6. When disciplining, explain exactly what he did or didn't do that got him into trouble. He needs to be able to tie the behavior to the consequences in his mind.
7. Never discipline out of anger. Give yourself time to calm down enough that you can make the punishment fit the crime. I've found that punishment which takes away something of value is particularly effective. (i.e. You lose access to the car for three days because you didn't wear your seat belt.) If possible, he should know in advance approximately what the consequences will be.
8. Remember your own mistakes growing up. It can help you keep his behavior in perspective.
9. Reward good behavior. Do this abundantly as he first picks up a good habit or ability, then tone it down as he learns that he's expected to be good anyway. Again, describe exactly what he did to make you happy with him.
10. Don't expect more out of him than he is capable of. Don't spank your son for failing to keep his room clean when he's only two, for example. The "What to expect..." books are very good resources for this.

[Mygirlsmom]

Parenting with Love and Logic

W. Foster Cline and Jim Fay

[hardworking]

When I went through a messy divorce, many years ago now, perhaps the wisest advice I was given (by a therapist who was helping me) was that I should find a child psychologist for my child (10 at the time). I was a bit shocked, but I did so and it was the smartest thing I did in the midst of a very difficult time. The child psychologist provided my child with a place to express what was happening and later, when things turned ugly in the divorce, the psychologist was a strong advocate for my child, for which I will always be grateful.

[R.W.Ratikal]

McGuffy Readers

[thackney]

I like Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo’s lessons.

http://www.gfi.org/java/jsp/cust_ezzo.jsp

http://www.gfi.org/java/jsp/cust_curriculum.jsp

[thackney]

Whatever you do, remember that you are not raising a boy, you are raising a man.

Bump, Bump and Bump again.

Too many parents forget they are raising adults and only starting with children.