May I ask why you did not attend?
I had to work, and as far as dealing with my personal grief over this, I have lost friends before. I was not particularly close to this nurse, but I liked her and she was a great nurse. More than that, we had worked together in the trenches for years. You develop a closeness that is difficult to relate to those who don't experience it.
That kind of relationship also enables us to carry on when one of us falls. We grieve, of course. But we have work to do. We cry on each other's shoulders, and then we get on with it.