Posted on 04/23/2007 12:53:59 AM PDT by pookie18
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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter W:
L
Dick Cheney had a scary moment Friday when a bird flew into the jet engines of Air Force Two as it was on approach to Chicago's airport. Everyone's happy for the vice president. After a very long year of jokes at his expense, he finally hit a bird.
The German Army refused to fire a sergeant who told troops to imagine they are shooting black men in New York. It was caught on tape. When Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson said they're getting death threats, no one thought it was from the German Army.
John Edwards' campaign admitted Monday that the candidate got two-hundred-dollar skin-smoothing treatments at the Pink Sapphire salon in New Hampshire. It's logical. This early in the campaign there's not enough mud being thrown to maintain a baby-smooth complexion.
Rosie O'Donnell announced Tuesday she will no longer talk about President Bush on The View. She said she made the decision after visiting a web site dedicated to having her fired. Webster's Dictionary defines cowardice as a comedian with a mortgage.
John Edwards' campaign records showed Monday that he paid eight hundred dollars for two haircuts in Beverly Hills. There's no shame in what he did. John Edwards represents the downtrodden and the powerless in America, and they deserve the very best.
- - Argus Hamilton
"This week, during appearances in Denver, John Kerry reopened the door to running for president in 2008. You know, somebody should really lock that door. It just keeps swinging open and closing."
- Leno
"How about this, ladies and gentlemen – we’re already getting sucked up into the 2008 Presidential campaign. Are you fascinated and interested in the 2008 Presidential campaign? Thank you, I appreciate you playing along. Listen to this: John Edwards, Presidential hopeful John Edwards had a $400 Beverly Hills haircut. That’s a lot of dough. I mean, honest to God, ladies and gentlemen, this hairpiece didn’t cost me $400…But here’s the worst part: earlier tonight, Edwards hosted a dinner to raise money for a facial."
- Letterman
Dear Abby,
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating.
Also, since he lost his job six years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and bullshit with his buddies while I have to work to pay the bills.
Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me and hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do?
Signed: Clueless
Dear Clueless,
Grow up and dump him. Good grief, woman. You don't need him. You're a United States Senator from New York running for President of the United States. Act like one!
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Mexico's president has announced that Mexico will not participate in the next Summer Olympics. He said that, "Anyone who can run, jump, or swim has already left the country."
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Chelsea Clinton asks an American soldier who he feared. His answer was "Osama, Obama, and Yo Mama."
SUPERSIZED
(Thank you, Richard Kimball)
(Thank you, reagan_fanatic)
Thanx Pookie!
Good Morning, pookie, and Thanks for starting off the week!
Thanks Pookie !!
Please put me on your ping list> TY
lucky 13!
Another week off to a great start.
Thanks Pookie.
The week begins, liberials too piss off, bttt.
Morning, Pookie, and thanks for the ping! Bump for later reading!
Thanks Pookie. Another great morning with the Pookster!!
Good morning and many thanks, Pookie!
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