Posted on 04/20/2007 5:22:18 AM PDT by shrinkermd
...In modern America, there's always plenty of trauma to go around. Even if you knew no one involved in the shootings, have never been to Virginia and can't tell the difference between a Hokie and a Wahoo, there's no need for you to feel left out.
Did you feel sad when you heard the news? Did you ponder, however fleetingly, the mystery of mortality? If so, don't just go on with your ordinary life as if nothing has happened to disrupt it (even though nothing has happened to disrupt it). Honor your grief! Attend a candlelight vigil, post a poignant message on one of MySpace's Virginia Tech memorial pages and please, seek trauma counseling as soon as possible.
Convincing ourselves that we've been vicariously traumatized by the pain of strangers has become a cherished national pastime. Thus, the Washington Post this week accompanied online stories about the shooting with a clickable sidebar, "Where to Find Support" — apparently on the assumption that the mere experience of glancing at articles about the tragedy would be so emotionally devastating that readers would require trained therapists.
At the University of Buffalo, more than 500 miles from Virginia Tech, university counselors announced that they were "reaching out to students feeling affected by … the tragedy." In Dallas, area chaplains rushed (uninvited) to Blacksburg, Va., to "be part of the healing process."
Count me out. There's something fraudulent about this eagerness to latch onto the grief of others and embrace the idea that we, too, have been victimized. This trivializes the pain felt by those who have actually lost something and pathologizes normal reactions to tragedy. Empathy is good, but feeling shocked and saddened by the shootings doesn't make us traumatized or special — these feelings make us normal.
(Excerpt) Read more at latimes.com ...
Yet President Bush — who refuses to attend the funerals of soldiers killed in Iraq because that might "politicize" the war his administration started — ordered all federal flags at half-staff and rushed to Blacksburg to bemoan the "day of sadness for the entire nation." It's a good strategy. People busy holding candlelight vigils for the deaths in Blacksburg don't have much time left over to protest the war in Iraq.
>Mizz Brooks can bite my Hokie @$$!<
Don’t let her do that unless you’ve had a rabies vaccine.
And for your information, on 9/11 I spent several hours waiting around at the Red Cross to give blood, after Katrina I adopted an abandoned dog, I gave money to the Tsunami & Katrina victims and I have sent packages to the troops overseas. Oh yeah, and I have prayed for all of these people, I guess I should stood around with teddybears and spent my time crying at vigils instead of actually getting off my ass and trying to make things better.
That's stating the obvious. Of course I get that. But you don't have to have a personal connection to identify with a fellow citizen's grief or in the case of national events like 9/11, a connection to your country.
I prayed for the VA tech victims and I will do so again this Sunday in church. I absolutely feel sorry for the victims and their families but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to be running around in VT colors placing teddy bears everywhere. Frankly, I think that actual praying to God is a more thoughtful act.
Each to his own. I thought it was going overboard tying yellow ribbons around trees in honor of the Iranian hostages. It was a substitute for a lack of action on the part of Carter. And I had a personal connection.
My major point was how vile this article really is. If you haven't read all of it, read it. Your opinion might be changed somewhat given the context of the article.
LOL
I understand. Just understand that my point is that if more folks spent their time trying to actually take action, to make things better, maybe we wouldn’t have these situations to begin with. I live in the city and I see this all the time. Someone gets shot and there is a candlelight vigil and then everyone goes back to what they were doing. Nobody gets involved. I get that people need to be involved — I absolutely agree with that. But you are right, to each his own.
Yup, your friend is weird.
Prayers for your parent. Eight years ago my hubby was diagnosed with a very serious type of cancer. Not expected to survive........as I said, it’s eight years. Some minor complications recently, having nothing to do with the cancer, but surgical issues.
Enjoy and cherish every day with your parent.
Thanks for caring about the victims. As parents I can’t imagine how we can think they don’t deserve our tears.
So why criticize your friend who "immediately drove to NYC because she "had to be there with the victims" even though she didn't know anyone" and "think its weird to act like this when you have no personal connection to a situation?"
You obviously have no personal connection to Katrina but you gave blood as well as the other things you have done. You are involved, more than most. Your beef seems to be how people get involved [act] and not the criterion about having a personal connection. I don't view your friend's actions as "weird." but you know her better than I do.
Thank you for your kind thoughts. I hope that your hubby gets through the recent complications okay. I will be praying for you both.
Thanks, he’s doing fine. Some trips to the ER and finally a diagnosis and solution. Harrowing but we are giving thanks.
Hope all works out well for you family member.
Yes, you are absolutely right about that - I didn't express myself clearly. For example, today, my friend will be dressed in orange and maroon from head to toe, & she will probably be weepy. But will she do anything to make this world a better place? Will she donate some of her time to mentor a troubled kid? Will she volunteer with some kind of relief organization for these type of siutations? Nope. But, today, everyone will know how upset she is about this tragedy because she dressed in the VT colors. Okay, I've argued enough on this point.
As for your criticism of the article, sure it is used as a vehicle to bash Bush. It's the LATimes after all.
Of course I didn’t read the entire article. I was going off on a tangent, like I usually do. Hence the (/rant) at the end. 8~)
My best wishes to you with your own personal crisis. I went through it with both of my parents who died of cancer. Cheers.
"There's something fraudulent about this eagerness to latch onto the grief of others and embrace the idea that we, too, have been victimized. This trivializes the pain felt by those who have actually lost something and pathologizes normal reactions to tragedy. Empathy is good, but feeling shocked and saddened by the shootings doesn't make us traumatized or special — these feelings make us normal."
I think she is spot on with that point.
jw
re: #60
Thank you. I believe you summed up what I’ve been trying to say better than I could.
jw
Today I am a Hokie - I can go back to making fun of VT tomorrow :)
To my memory, it was almost immediately obvious that large amounts of blood would not be needed after the attack, sadly -- because so few people were only injured, and so many were killed outright. (Not to mention, all most all that unneeded donated blood had to be thrown out -- then weeks later the nation had shortages of blood because everybody had "already donated.")
Adopting a Katrina dog, though, that was a great thing to do.
And I agree with you completely on the bathetic teddybear heaps and candlelight vigil phenomena.
A nice way to Feeeeeeeeel like you're doing something, but what does it accomplish, really? They'd have been better off taking the $$$ that the T-Shirts cost and donating it to one of the real victims' scholarship funds, IMHO.
Does that also apply to the victims of 9/11, Oklahoma City, Katrina, Columbine? To me, this is meaningless psycho-babble. Until you start talking specifics, what does she really mean? Where does "empathy" end and "shock and saddened" begin?
The author has a definite political agenda. She is cloaking it in pop psychology. Her profundity is a mile-wide and an inch deep. And what makes it laughable, is that this hard core liberal probably thinks that Bill "I feel your pain" Clinton was a great President. On the other hand, when Bush is involved:
"The Virginia Tech massacre was catastrophic for the victims and their loved ones, but, unlike war, it was not catastrophic for the nation. Yet President Bush — who refuses to attend the funerals of soldiers killed in Iraq because that might "politicize" the war his administration started — ordered all federal flags at half-staff and rushed to Blacksburg to bemoan the "day of sadness for the entire nation." It's a good strategy. People busy holding candlelight vigils for the deaths in Blacksburg don't have much time left over to protest the war in Iraq.
The author is upset by Bush's attendance at the event and his cynical use of it as a diversion from the Iraq War. I believe that what happened at VaTech was a catastrophic event and "a day of sadness" for the entire nation, just as much as Oklahoma City was. This was not a run of the mill shooting at a 7/11 store. Do you think that federal flags should be at half-staff to honor the loss at Va Tech?
I believe that saying we are all Hokies is a way of indicating that we are all connected as members of this country. Our fates are inextricably tied together. I recall the words of JFK in Berlin:
"Two thousand years ago the proudest boast was "civis Romanus sum." Today, in the world of freedom, the proudest boast is "Ich bin ein Berliner."
..."You live in a defended island of freedom, but your life is part of the main. so let me ask you, as I close, to lift your eyes beyond the dangers of today, to the hope of tomorrow, beyond the freedom merely of this city of Berlin, or your country of Germany, to the advance of freedom everywhere, beyond the wall to the day of peace with justice, beyond yourselves and ourselves to all mankind."
Freedom is indivisible, and when one man is enslaved, all are not free. When all are free, then we can look forward to that day when this city will be joined as one and this country and this great Continent of Europe in a peaceful and hopeful globe. When that day finally comes, as it will, the people of west Berlin can take sober satisfaction in the fact that they were in the front lines for almost two decades.
All free men, wherever they may live, are citizens of Berlin, and therefore, as a free man, I take pride in the words "Ich bin ein Berliner."
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