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You're Dead; I'm Healing (Dennis Prager On The Denial Of Grief And Evil Alert)
Townhall.com ^ | 04/17/2007 | Dennis Prager

Posted on 04/16/2007 9:26:36 PM PDT by goldstategop

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To: goldstategop

...”We have embraced emotion-numbing, righteous-rage-denying, morally neutered, therapeutic language. It is as as much a part of our national crisis as are the acts of evil we refuse to identify as such”...

Yes! Physical wounds have to go through an inflamation process brought about by the human immune system before healing can occur. I believe the sadness and grief we experience during times of crisis are a part of our “emotional inflamation process,” equally as important to our emotional and psychological healing as our immune system is for our physical healing. Any effort which causes individuals to suppress the expression of emotional pain in response to terrible events is doing a great injustice to the sufferer.


41 posted on 04/17/2007 2:12:19 AM PDT by jazzlite (esat)
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To: goldstategop

Thank you for posting this article, and thank you for your words. My father died In January, and I have bad dreams every night I can remember them. Before the funeral, the minister said he wanted it to be happy (or words to that effect) - my brothers nodded. I walked out of the church office...


42 posted on 04/17/2007 3:52:23 AM PDT by PghBaldy (Reporter: Are you surprised? Nancy Pelosi: No. My eyes always look like this.)
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To: Kitten Festival

On 911, after flew over my city of Pittsburgh and crashed in Shanksville, I went home from work and the first change I noticed was peace signs drawn on the sidewalk outside the bookstore. I was furious.


43 posted on 04/17/2007 3:59:46 AM PDT by PghBaldy (Reporter: Are you surprised? Nancy Pelosi: No. My eyes always look like this.)
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To: ken21

I too, believe he is correct. However, when he speaks of anger, my question is - anger at what? For years I have felt a rage inside me at the evil done against our country and citizens and those who let it continue. How do I release this anger and where can I direct it?


44 posted on 04/17/2007 4:06:17 AM PDT by 7thson (I've got a seat at the big conference table! I'm gonna paint my logo on it!)
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To: ken21

Well Prager may have gotten it right in this written article, but I was not impressed with his commentary around the lunch hour on the radio yesterday...

Mr. Prager, you cannot have it both ways...You may come across as fairly compelling and insightful, but balancing across a razors edge can hurt you over time...

Sure this is a tragedy, and one that can be confidently laid at the dead feet of the person responsible for taking all of these lives...And that the periferal actions and inactions by the VT administration and its staff are responsible for fixing it...

Mr Heckler (on your VT staff) can be fired right now...Do it today for the remarks he is on record for openly supporting the fight against the legislation that would have saved lives in this incident...

Anyone who says that it “might have” saved lives if the students and staff had had the ability to “choose” to carry a firearm for self defensive purposes are in denial...

The only way to counter people like this is to be aggressive against it...Barring doors, and cowering in the corners is passive, and irresponsible teachings...If you don’t have the guts to stand up and fight, fine...

The people on Flight 93 eventually got the idea...And with the knowledge that they might not make it...They saved lives in their sacrifice...

Thats the kind of teaching that needs to be honored and ingrained into the filiments of our being from day one...It is not a fatalistic doomsday type of life or existance, it is a way of life that says I honor life, and will sacrifice my own if I can save another...

But alas, we will once again (till the next “tragedy”) see the lines of candle-lit tears stream across our TV’s for the next few days, then a one year anniversary...then...then...

I really feel for the victims here, and their families...This hurts more than anything, but to know that it could have been lessened, is the true tragedy...

I have no pity, concern for the shooter, his family or friends, and to those who could have had and encouraged a system in place, a mindset of self-determination, resposibility and a value for the preservation of life that might have very well made a difference in avoiding the tremendous loss of life yesterday...

But for now...We light candles...


45 posted on 04/17/2007 6:38:15 AM PDT by stevie_d_64 (Houston Area Texans (I've always been hated))
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To: marron

Well stated!!!


46 posted on 04/17/2007 6:41:03 AM PDT by stevie_d_64 (Houston Area Texans (I've always been hated))
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To: goldstategop
What I want is to not have to hear some air-headed pundit or touchy feely psychotherapist mention "closure" ever, ever again.

Also, the grief counseling. I live in Pittsburgh and I couldn't believe that the University of Pennsylvania is offering grief counseling to students troubled by the events in Blacksburg, VA. Like Prager said, it's not about the students in Pennsylvania or elsewhere.

Then I left KDKA on while I went back to sleep and awoke to a maniac talking on and on about post traumatic stress syndrome. It was Dr. Phil on the CBS morning show and once you get that guy started, he doesn't stop.

Having said that, to all those directed affected by this murderous man (the Asian, not Dr. Phil), my prayers are with them that God will spread his merciful arms around them, allow them to grieve in His arms and to have true support to comfort them.

47 posted on 04/17/2007 7:38:47 AM PDT by 3catsanadog (Vote for the person at the primaries; vote for the party at the election.)
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To: raftguide
Hell, we healed from 911 in a year.

Maybe that's part of the reason of the rash of "conspiracy theories" about 9/11. (and I'm not discounting the "hate Bush" aspect of it all one bit.) Society expected everyone to forgive and forget, oh about a week after the event.

Well, we sure did and forgot about the evildoers and the souls that jumped 110 floors to their death and the humans maimed for life and the others crushed by 2 gigantic skyscrapers. So undigested grief comes out sideways.

We live in a country where wringing our hands and crying oh woe is me is supposedly appropriate for the most trivial and wrong reasons, but must heal and have this undefinable sense of closure post haste if we are confronted with true evil.

48 posted on 04/17/2007 7:51:43 AM PDT by 3catsanadog (Vote for the person at the primaries; vote for the party at the election.)
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To: Prophet in the wilderness

“...a time to heal...a time to mourn...”. Separate processes noted in Ecclesiastes 3:1-15.

As most are stating here, the mourning process is very necessary before any healing can begin.


49 posted on 04/17/2007 8:02:52 AM PDT by Ladysmith ((NRA SAS) To a liberal, "feeling safe" is far more important than "being safe.")
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To: goldstategop
Love this guy!

“The Jewish tradition, still observed even by non-Orthodox Jews, is to sit “shiva” (seven) days and do nothing but mourn and receive visitors after the death of an immediate relative. One does not have to be a religious Jew or even a Jew to appreciate this ancient wisdom. “

True for Jews and any other human being!

“It is not good for people to feign normalcy immediately after the loss of a loved one. People who have not been allowed, or not allowed themselves, time to grieve suffer later on. Any child who loses a parent and is “protected” from grieving by a well-intentioned parent who tries to act “normal” right after the other parent’s death is likely to pay a steep psychological price.”

I was not able to articulate my concerns about Bindi, Stever Irwins daughter as well as this but he sums it up for me. It is UNHEALTHY for Bindi - what she is doing now ... and she WILL pay the price later for NOT having a time to grieve and have a NORMAL childhood.

50 posted on 04/17/2007 8:14:47 AM PDT by nmh (Intelligent people recognize Intelligent Design (God) .)
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To: HisKingdomWillAbolishSinDeath

LOve this guy!

He is right on in the wisdom department.


51 posted on 04/17/2007 8:16:12 AM PDT by nmh (Intelligent people recognize Intelligent Design (God) .)
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To: goldstategop

Word!


52 posted on 04/17/2007 9:20:18 AM PDT by Clock King ("How will it end?" - Emperor; "In Fire." - Kosh)
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To: 7thson

dunno.

i feel the same.

it comes up when i talk to my neighbors, many of whom are retired. they sit around all day watching tv.

they believe what they see on tv. they love rosie and oprah.

they all vote democrap.

if they voted 50% dem and 50% rep, then i’d feel ok. it’d feel that the media was fair.

consequently, i do not feel the media is fair. witness mike nifong. were not the media to protect us from the abuses of government? not, dude! they supported nifong’s craziness and reverse racism.

also, like you, i felt rage inside when the media destroyed the vietnam war before our eyes. lbj: “if i’ve lost walter, i’ve lost the war.” well, uh...duh, turns out walter kronkite was a leftist. the whole show was rigged. “the most trusted man in america” was a commie.

ditto iraq. out media worked against us and gave solace to our enemies. but my tv-moron neighbors understand not why this bothers me.

my tv neighbors hate rush limbaugh and bill o’reilly. and, they wouldn’t mind if these were taken off the air.

thanks for your post.


53 posted on 04/17/2007 10:13:25 AM PDT by ken21 (it takes a village to brainwash your child + to steal your property! /s)
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To: Kitten Festival
Nicely written, I like this Prager guy,

Listen to his radio show. Probably the most clear thinking radio host when it comes to the human condition.

FMCDH(BITS)

54 posted on 04/17/2007 10:21:42 AM PDT by nothingnew (I fear for my Republic due to marxist influence in our government. Open eyes/see)
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To: stevie_d_64

It is a huge disservice to continue to teach our young people that “someone else” will protect them. It is wrong to believe so, because it is not true.

School security and response could have been much better, but then the leaders themselves seem to think “someone else” is the protector.

And, believe it or not, there are posters on this forum seeking “understanding” and showing sympathy for the murderer....


55 posted on 04/17/2007 11:37:52 AM PDT by La Enchiladita (Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world. Have mercy on us, and grant us Your peace.)
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To: Vince Ferrer
There's the Star Trek episode in which Captain Kirk replies: "I need my pain." Loss makes us human and we grow through it. Take it away from us and we're numb. That's no way to live.
56 posted on 04/17/2007 12:03:45 PM PDT by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives In My Heart Forever)
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To: goldstategop

Well hang on a sec...

If we are going to compare something that we’ve seen on TV, I would call your attention to a contemporary program called Jericho...

In a scene (early on in the series) where everyone got together at the church after the attack, and the character “Mayor Green” got up and adressed the congregation asking them (and he knew everyone already) if they had lost someone in the attack?

Everyone eventually got up, and he measured that with the need for the community to stand up together and fight as one for these losses...As they represented what was important to them, and that to honor them by standing together to meet the challenges ahead, and that their losses reminded them most importantly of their “humanity”...

I thought that was some pretty good writing coming out of Hollywood for a change...

I believe that same approach is needed here...Its just as poigniant, just as tragic, just as painful...

I would just prefer the mainstream media from pimping on the tragedy as much as they do in cases like this...But thats too much to wish for I suppose...

The media is what makes this either more painful for some, or more useless for a certain segment of our community and for that matter our community...


57 posted on 04/17/2007 1:17:12 PM PDT by stevie_d_64 (Houston Area Texans (I've always been hated))
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