Posted on 04/11/2007 5:19:22 AM PDT by shrinkermd
ABSTRACT: In this meta-analysis of online dating and speed dating, we propose a corollary to the Flaw-O-Matic theory of romantic revulsion. Current research reveals that the Flaw-O-Matic, a mechanism in the brain that instantly finds fault with any potential mate, can be reoriented positively in certain conditions through a newly identified process, the Sally Field Effect.
...Just as Darwin could have predicted, the researchers have found that women are pickier than men. While men concentrate mainly on looks and will ask out a lot of women as long as theyre above a certain threshold of attractiveness, women focus on fewer prospects.
Theyre less willing to date someone of another race. When using online services, they pay more attention than men do to a potential partners education, profession and income. They prefer taller men, but theyre willing to relax their standards for the Ron Perelmans of the world, as revealed in a study of more than 20,000 online daters by Gunter Hitsch and Ali Hortacsu of the University of Chicago and Dan Ariely of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
They found that a 5-foot-8 man was just as successful in getting dates as a 6-footer if he made more money precisely $146,000 a year more. For a 5-foot-2 man, the number was $277,000. [For more of these trade-offs, see nytimes.com/tierneylab.]
...Being able to make this distinction in a four-minute speed date, the researchers write in the April issue of Psychological Science, suggests that humans possess an impressive, highly attuned ability to assess such subtleties of romantic attraction. In fact, the need to feel special or unique could be a broad motivation that stretches across peoples social lives.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
I guess my sentiment was worth repeating.
My apologies for the double post (although I don’t know how I managed to do it)
You’ve dated every woman in Alaska? :)
Well, as I said, this girl was only marginally above my ‘Threshold of Acceptance’ and I had been puzzling over how to end our ‘relationship’. Not answering the phone or returning emails and ‘not being home’ seemed to work. I hate ‘messy’ situations and just sending a check seemed like a good way to establish ‘closure’.
About 6 months later, while wife #2 was in the evaluation phase, (and living with me) she sent me an email - she had forgotten her TV. I left it out on the porch and emailed her where it was. THE END...
Do you mind me asking why? I'm not being flip, I'm genuinely interested.
Thank You. You said it all in very few words...
It just would make me feel very awkward and uncomfortable. Probably a genetic thing. Nature seems to have intended man to be the bigger of the two in a relationship.
Good enough for me.
Thanks for responding.
LOL! That isn’t a bonus plan at all.
It’s more like another profession, with annual rates rather than hourly.
“Yet I see a lot of white woman/black man couples,..”
I can’t think of many things that turn me off more.
I felt like I was setting the bar at the right spot.
It's a good thing I'm so freaking brilliant, then, because I'm short and not rich. (I married a very intelligent woman, BTW. I mean, she married me, didn't she?)
“Actually, reading a lot of women’s profiles is an interesting exercise in itself. Often some pretty scary stuff if you read between the lines.”
I read them occasionaly for entertainment purposes only now (Single by decision), and you are dead on - you either get a long, detailed list fo what they DEMAND in a relationship (regardless of how ridiculous their demands are), or they are obviously carrying a LOT of baggage, or they pull a TMI (Too Much Information).
I’ve also found a lot of my female freinds and relatives post ads with no intentions of leaving their spouse or boyfriend, they do it to see what they could get, as an ego boost. Feeling down? Boyfriend being a jerk? Bored at work? They’ll go work their match.com profile for a week and flirt their butts off, and get lots of guys after them...and they just pull the plug. Hah hah.
Always wondered why that would happen...now I know.
Online personals are there for a reason, and once you figure out the reasons, you know why 99% of them are not fit to date. Men and women both. Those sites are the eerie blue bug light of the dating world - they will draw you in, and ZOT your ass.
And, if it’s a free site, like Craigslist? Often times the women who respond to you are local escorts and prostitutes looking for lonely men. Key word to watch for “generous”. I had one do that to me, started chatting, then presented the “menu” along with prices. Delete.
And guys...c’mon...they hire women to interact with you to get you to buy the “gold” account. Match.com got busted for it last year. Half the time, you’re being scammed! ten years ago online dating was cool, fun, and worked. Now it’s all for getting addresses for spam, and getting you to pony up for that monthly fee.
None in the offing. We both married later (upper 30's) and are more inclined to dote on our siblings' kids.
Given that the men of each race are the ones doing the asking-out, it follows that the black women are the ones being more picky, which is consistent with the story.
(Mathematically, the higher percentage of whites compared to blacks balances out. Correcting for male/female percentages within each race is left, as they say, as an exercise for the reader.)
Good points. That much statistical reasoning was too complicated for me earlier in the morning, but you’re right.
That’s what my husband and I said..........he’s 52 I’m 47 and we have an 8 year old :)
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