Sometimes, yes. But not always.
Not having children yourself, you “believe” this is in the best interests of the child.
It is not.
My having or not having children isn't material.
Ask any adult who discovers they were not the biological child of their parents, how it feels to be lied too.
Ask an adult who was raised knowing they were adopted who their real parents are.
Ask an adult raised by a loving stepparent,which role model they will use in raising their own children.
Ask the adult raised by a devoted single mother or father, how that worked out for them.
Ask an adult raised by loving, honest and decent extended family members or foster parents, how that all worked out in the end.
All great questions, and I have had some of these discussions with some people in these categories over my life, but haven't covered each example.
While you may tell yourself that you care about the wellbeing of the child, you seem not to grasp that childhood is temporary and for many adults who were not reared in the ideal conditions of a loving, married, sober and stable household, childhood is the condition they had to survive to become functioning adults.
I disagree here - I agree with that sentiment wholeheartedly. the childhood need not be perfect and I never suggested it should be.
Children survive the death of their parents.
They also survive under conditions of abuse many can not even imagine.
What hurts them most is not that the adults in their lives might betray them, but that other adults would excuse the betrayal, and pretend it does not matter.
And yes, the betrayal I am addressing is for the father figure suddenly 'checking out' of the life of a child who looks to him as 'daddy.' I'm not excusing this betrayal - indeed, it's other Freepers who passionately seem to think it's the father figure's prerogative to check out of the life of a child. I think the law is right to undermine that strategy.
You claim a man who finds out he is not the father of a child should continue to pretend he is “for the child's sake”.
Now look closely - I never said that. This is a fiction you created. I just said he should remain a part of the child's life who looks upon him as a parent. As for the pretending, I offered no suggestion nor insight into that.
I say, for the child’s future adult life, he should not.
And maybe I agree with you - I don't like pretenses either. But I do think it's desirable that he continue to be part of the child's life. That doesn't inexorably mean the 'pretending' you suggested.
But I am merely a single mother, actively involved in raising a child to adulthood.
Good luck to you and God bless.
It also doesn’t mean the force of law should be unfairly applied to a man, or to the child.
And as far as it being desirable, Hell No, it is absolutely NOT desirable.
I made the the ultimately unfortunate decision that the extended paternal family of my child be allowed into her life as her birthright, and trusted her biological “family” to continue to be loving human beings to one of their own.
I would advise anyone in my former position from doing the same.