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Queer IQ: The Gay Couple's Advantage (same sex partners are more honest, affectionate)
Psychology Today ^ | 04/09/07 | Kaja Perina

Posted on 04/09/2007 7:44:05 AM PDT by presidio9

"There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different things," quipped comedian George Burns. "Men want women and women want men." But when men want men and women want women, each couple can circumvent treacherous romantic terrain because partners more closely share sexual appetites and mind-reading abilities than do heterosexual pairs.

Most lesbians don't fear rapacious women and gay men need not always soft-peddle their sexual predilections. On balance, gays and lesbians understand their partners' bodies and biases with a certainty that many a clueless "breeder" yearns for. "Homosexuality could be viewed in some respects as the triumph of the individual's mating intelligence over the gonads' evolutionary interests," argues Geoffrey Miller.

The result is that gay relationships are less mired in deception and perhaps even less prone to friction, according to multiple studies.

"If two guys in a relationship are on the same wavelength, it's going to be very hard for them to deceive one another about their motives, their lusts, their philandering. Whereas between the sexes, each sex presents a socially acceptable form of masculinity or femininity that is reassuring to the other person but not particularly accurate," says Miller.

Romantic lies are, after all, a sort of Rosetta stone on which gender differences are coyly inscribed. Straight men lie about their commitment to the relationship and about their resources, finds psychologist Maureen O'Sullivan. They are also more likely to lie to keep their partner from getting angry at them, a small but telling testament to the wrath of women. Women, in contrast, lie to flatter a man's sense of self and to downplay their interest in other men.

Gay and lesbian couples are not only more honest with one another, they are also more likely to exhibit affection and humor in negotiating relationship stressors, according to John Gottman, emeritus professor of psychology at the University of Washington. Gottman compared conflict discussions in gay and straight couples and found that "gays and lesbians talked explicitly about sex and monogamy. Those topics don't come up in 31 years of studying heterosexual couples, who are uptight in discussing sex. In their conversations, you really don't know what they're talking about."

Whether a same-sex edge to mating intelligence makes for longer unions is unclear. Among the couples Gottman studied, the projected break-up rate for homosexuals, over a four-decade span, is a grim 64 percent (gay men are far more likely to split than are lesbians). The 40-year divorce rate for straight couples in first marriages is 67 percent. To amend George Burns: If you wait long enough, every couple wants different things.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: 42yrlifeexpectancy; celebrateperversity; homosexualagenda; softpeddle
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To: katielou828

It’s right before Global Warming at the Junk Science Institute.


81 posted on 04/09/2007 2:22:31 PM PDT by 3catsanadog (Vote for the person at the primaries; vote for the party at the election.)
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To: presidio9
Queerly Beloved Thread Alert

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus

82 posted on 04/09/2007 2:25:18 PM PDT by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives In My Heart Forever)
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To: Tokra
"I guess I'll have to tell all the homosexuals I know that are in their 40s, 50s and 60s that they are actually dead and just don't know it."

Feel free to speak with all the homosexuals you know as often as you wish -no need to tell everyone here about it...

83 posted on 04/09/2007 4:00:57 PM PDT by DBeers (†)
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To: presidio9
Be advised, Psychology Today has long since ceased to have anything to do with actual psychological science. The "experts" cited in this story for example, are well-known and long discounted pansexual partisans whose 'research' is fit for drugstore paperbacks and grocery-store tabloids. Reality smacks these campus critters at ever turn.
84 posted on 04/09/2007 4:38:25 PM PDT by hinckley buzzard
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To: presidio9
Of course people are born gay. Nobody in his right mind would “choose” to be gay. Every public school teacher I ever met told me so.

LOL! Nobody ever 'chose' to be a drug addict or a skid row drunk either. Doesn't mean "they were born that way."

These things are consequences not antecedents.

85 posted on 04/09/2007 4:46:13 PM PDT by hinckley buzzard
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To: ichabod1
I read something a while back that stated that homosexuals tended to be dead by their fifties even BEFORE AIDS came on the scene.

IT[s possible. Homosexuals have a rate of self-destructive behaviors including alcohol and drug abuse significantly higher than the straight community. It doesn't get much publicity because of closeting and the AIDS distraction. Now that we know the rate of homosexuality is lower than previously believed, those addiction rates are probably even higher than we thought.

86 posted on 04/09/2007 4:51:14 PM PDT by hinckley buzzard
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To: PBRSTREETGANG
lol, Yes but do same sex relationships last longer then regular hetro relationships?
87 posted on 04/09/2007 4:53:53 PM PDT by mad_as_he$$ (The road is long and the path is difficult, the reward is worth it.)
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To: AppyPappy

47?


88 posted on 04/09/2007 4:54:45 PM PDT by mad_as_he$$ (The road is long and the path is difficult, the reward is worth it.)
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To: olderwiser
It used to be that homosexuality was considered a type of narcissistic relationship

Still is, among us students of human nature uncontaminated by political correctness. Throw in a large dollop of histrionic features along with the narcissism and voila' you have "The Gay Subculture!"

89 posted on 04/09/2007 4:55:13 PM PDT by hinckley buzzard
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To: redpoll

Back in the 80’s I worked in interior design, a field filled with gay men. They acted like a bunch of teenage girls with the jealousy and cattiness.


90 posted on 04/09/2007 5:06:27 PM PDT by kalee (The offenses we give, we write in the dust; Those we take, we write in marble. JHuett)
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To: 3catsanadog

heterosexual couples, who are uptight in discussing sex.

No, maybe we hetorosexual couples just view sex as sacred to be shared only between ourselves and our spouse. In other words none of your business, buster.


91 posted on 04/09/2007 5:09:48 PM PDT by kalee (The offenses we give, we write in the dust; Those we take, we write in marble. JHuett)
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To: Fee
“What they do in the privacy of their homes is their business, but when they try to introduce this short life span lifestyle to my children as an healthy alternative, I have a problem. If children cannot be exposed to cigarettes in school due to health reasons, sodomy should also be excluded and discouraged for the same reasons.”

Yes! Yes! That’s right! Sodomy and it’s entire surround-sound is unhealthy and actually dangerous to the health.

Concerning “what they do in the privacy of their homes is their business:” A dynamic of sodomy and sodomites is that they will NOT leave it in the bedroom. They WILL force the issue of their kind of bedroom behavior upon society. They WILL force it into the legislatures and courts.

Sodomites WILL force their sin into the classrooms of colleges and high schools, and then junior highs schools, and then elementary schools, and then pre-schools. They cannot live without forcing the latent guilt of their sin and debauchery on as many as they can tempt into experimentation with sodomy. They don’t want to be outnumbered by those who live longer and healthier and less guilt-ridden.

No, they will not leave their “business” in their private sodomy chambers. And this is just one reason we will not put our children in the schools that are influenced by the sodomite-approving offices of the teachers unions and other left-wing education associations.

92 posted on 04/09/2007 5:33:15 PM PDT by John Leland 1789
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To: jdm

“We didn’t forget about your $7 late fee for “Willy’s Wonka Is Stuck In the Chocolate Factory”

What David Spade flick is that out of? LOL


93 posted on 04/09/2007 6:20:53 PM PDT by BBell
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To: 3catsanadog

Good....I thought I had missed a major announcement. WOnder if Al Gore could take this one on after he beats global warming to death.


94 posted on 04/09/2007 9:39:55 PM PDT by katielou828
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To: redpoll

You know didn’t our mothers tell us that anything worth having is worth working for. Seems to me that easy here brings just the sort of consequences our dear mothers warned us about.


95 posted on 04/09/2007 9:39:56 PM PDT by katielou828
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To: hinckley buzzard

Well said Hinkley. It is a slippery slope for sure just as all lifestyles that end with poor consequences are.


96 posted on 04/09/2007 9:39:57 PM PDT by katielou828
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To: katielou828; hinckley buzzard
Well said Hinkley. It is a slippery slope for sure just as all lifestyles that end with poor consequences are.

Oh for crying out loud people! Are you new to this website or something? It's called SARCASM. If you'd bothered to pay attention to this thread you would have seen that my intentions were pretty evident.

97 posted on 04/10/2007 6:02:46 AM PDT by presidio9 (Suspended for posting an article about Scalia and Arthur Miller arguing at SCOTUS. Seriously.)
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To: AD from SpringBay

The average lifespan of a Homo is 45 years, compared to 72 years for a normal man.


98 posted on 04/10/2007 6:57:05 AM PDT by ohioman
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To: BBell
What David Spade flick is that out of? LOL

Actually, that line was from a "Saturday Night Live" sketch (Karl's Video Store) which aired May 6, 1995. Karl was played by David Spade. Here's a transcript for the first Karl's Video Store sketch (with Jeff Goldblum) if you want to laugh. It's really funny stuff!

99 posted on 04/10/2007 7:35:40 AM PDT by jdm
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To: jdm
Thanks. I’ve always liked David Spades Smart A$$ sense of humor.
100 posted on 04/10/2007 10:09:04 AM PDT by BBell
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