Posted on 03/26/2007 3:27:31 PM PDT by paltz
A cancer victim has accused his sister of condemning him to death by refusing to donate her bone marrow for a life-saving operation.
Father-of-three Simon Pretty is likely to die from leukaemia within months unless he receives a transplant.
His sister Helen, 43, is a perfect match but he says she has turned down the chance to save his life. Without the donation Mr Pretty who has a rare tissue type could be dead by the end of the year leaving his wife Jacqueline to raise their children Rebecca, eight, Jack, six and Benjamin, three.
he human resources manager from Mobberley, Cheshire, is receiving aggressive chemotherapy in an attempt to stay alive long enough to find another donor.
What a donor has to go through Doctors have said that to have the best chance of survival he must find a match by the end of the summer.
He has already exhausted the UK bone marrow register and doctors are looking for a match from strangers on international databases.
"I am on death row," said Mr Pretty. "I cant believe that she would let my three children lose their father so unnecessarily by her actions.
Helen Pretty has declined to comment "We found a prayer in Rebeccas coat which said: 'Please dont let my daddy die from cancer'. That brought tears to my eyes."
Helen Prettys Cheshire home is less than ten miles away from the British Transplantation Society which campaigns to promote organ and bone marrow donation.
Her brother claims she agreed to be a donor after he was first diagnosed with the rare cancer, acute promyelocytic leukaemia, in July 2004. He went into remission but then suffered a relapse in February by which time she had changed her mind, he says.
The pair have never been close although their children are similar ages and play together.
Mr Prettys wife Jacqueline said: "It is appalling that Helen can stand by and watch her brother die knowing that she could do something to help him. The past few months have been hell."
Mrs Pretty approached her sister-in-law in an attempt to change her mind but lost her temper and was eventually arrested. No charge was brought.
Jacqueline Pretty said: "She opened the front door halfway and I told her that things were desperate and the children thought their daddy was going to die. She said 'Sorry, I am not doing it'. I asked her to give me a reason and she said 'I am putting my family first'.
"I explained that there were no risks involved. I was so upset and I said, 'Dont you care if your brother dies?' She said 'Its very sad', and smirked."
The family then received a letter from his sisters solicitor asking them to keep their distance.
Parent governor Helen, 43, declined to comment yesterday.
She runs a private education business from her £380,00 home in Wilmslow, Cheshire, which she shares with her partner and her daughter, eight, and son, three.
Mr Pretty, who has two masters degrees, is studying for a PhD in industrial relations while being treated in hospital.
He said: "The treatment is tough and it is tortuous to go on with, especially as it would be unnecessary had she come forward. I have had a skin full of chemotherapy and all the side effects but I have a young family and I have to keep my spirits up for them."
Mr Pretty said he hoped that his plight would highlight the lack of bone marrow donors in the UK. He added: "Some people do not have a family member who is a match, even one who will not co-operate."
A spokesman for the Anthony Nolan Trust, which has a database of potential UK bone marrow donors, said: "About 30 per cent of patients could get a match from their own family usually siblings.
"The chance of finding a match outside of family is very small and there are never enough donors."
A less than exact bone marrow match has a smaller chance of beating the cancer.
Trust chief executive Dr Steve McEwan added: "As with any medical procedure there are risks. However, we are not aware of long-term side effects of the process of donating bone marrow. Donors describe it as a very positive experience."
Why are you assuming that the partner is female?
Uh huh.
Gawd! Do you get paid extra for playing devil's advocate?
see 105 and 123.
"On this topic, I will never understand why healthy people avoid donating blood."
I gave over three gallons (one pint at a time!) before the Red Cross decided that people who had lived in Europe and eaten the beef were not wanted as donors.
I can't wait to see what Dark's kid seester has to say...
That was what I thought too -- any of the hepatitis strains, HIV exposure -- who knows? She may just be really, really embarassed.
I hate when the media only gives part of the story.
I wonder if she may have become HIV positive and doesn't want to admit it.
You are so right. There is way more to this then we are told. I even think the word "smirked" is a way to further paint the sister to be horrible. We just don't know if she is a monster or what.
"25 years from now, I don't know if I would do this kind of surgery. I guess it depends on how close you are." .....And yet people do this for strangers every day. I've been on the marrow registry since a close friend of mine was diagnosed with leukemia 9 years ago. I would consider it an honor if an insignificant part of myself and some mild discomfort were all it took to save a human life.
I was wondering if this is a clean cut sure thing treatment or not. Could it be the sister has a health issues she does not want to bring out.
Guilty!
It's much more simple. She is, in effect, murdering him.
And that's evil.
Unless she fears for her life at his hands, there is no excuse I can think of. A mitigating factor, perhaps. But no excuse.
If this woman doesn't change her mind, soon, everyone in the community should make her life miserable -- for the rest of her life.
Me too. I would hope that wouldn't preclude me from donating marrow, though. The minute risk of Mad Cow Disease is nothing compared to the imminent risk from leukemia.
GUILTY!
Would you give a kidney to Osama bin Laden?
Actually, now that I see the picture, I think there is some sort of weight restriction when it comes to this surgery. (Perhaps that is the problem?) But if that were my brother, I'd be fasting if that is what it took to be eligible to donate.
Thats a #3.
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