Posted on 03/22/2007 10:15:46 AM PDT by mngran
Define soon. It's not like she is going to drop dead tomorrow or in a couple of months. It is possible that she could be alive and well 10 years from now. The odds may not be favorable, but people beat the odds. So how, exactly do you think it would help her for him to say "hon, I'm staying home because you are going to be dead soon?"
Perhaps. I am married to a "steamroller" and know that flattened feeling. I have also been abandoned at critical times during healthcare crises. I pray that won't happen to her, but given the demands of campaigning, it is likely despite everyone's best intentions. Prayers for all concerned.
" the cancer had reappeared in his wife’s rib cage and that the couple recognized that it was no longer curable"
And the guy thinks his calling is to campaign and BE president?
Wow...
Denial (from Kuebler Ross) is perhaps the most difficult step in accepting your mortality, then anger. She will resent his not being there for this process. A freind was diagnosed with lung cancer, six weeks later he's gone. He accepted it quickly and was able to pull together finances and other matters so his wife wasn't overwhelmed when the end came.
So yeah it would help for him to be there because she may be dead soon.
I knew she was a goner the minute I heard that, too. :( My StepMom died two years ago from bone cancer that started as breast cancer. She was in remission for about 7 years when it came back with a vengence. It's very common, and it is a death sentence. And it is extremely painful, so Mrs. Edwards does not have a lot to look forward to with this evil disease. Prayers up for her.
If I were her, I'd be traveling the globe with my kids while I still had my strength. What a schmuck of a husband John Edwards is.
Dittos...
I love your tagline
Why not spend as much time with their CHILDREN?? I don't get it. Running for President takes you away from your family for a ton of time.
This has a whiff of Paul Wellstone's sons screaming about WINNING at his parents' and sisters MEMORIAL! All that matters is winning the election? ick.
Indeed. That may be the most important question, who's going to be looking after the children? Mrs. Edwards will be exhausted by further treatments and these children will need their father very much in the weeks and months ahead. In a situation like this, it's not only the children that will need a father, but a wife who will need a supportive, loving, available husband.
My heart goes out to the Edwards' and their family in this tragic turn of events, but I can't help but shake my head in wonder and disbelief at some of the decisions being made.
Don't underestimate the power of denial. There is bone cancer and there is bone cancer. If they caught hers in the early stages of metastsing then there is a liklihood that it can be kept stable for a number of years. It has to do with how many bones it is in and to what extent. My mother was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer in January with mets to the spine. Radiation killed the spine tumor very quickly. Chemo is now at work on the lung tumor. Her doctor is optomistic that her cancer can be stablaized and she has some good life to live yet. She's not ready to wait to die and all I'm saying is that if Elizabeth Edwards isn't, that's her call, not ours. You cope the best way you can and for some people that's to keep things as normal as possible for as long as possible.
That doesn't sound like denial, it sounds like your MIL was/is a nutcase. Denying a dying cancer patient pain medication? Dogs receive more compassion and better treatment.
It's interesting that you don't talk about how your husband did or did not "handle" his mother and his father's illness, but it seems you were the one trying to talk some sense into the MIL. It also seems odd that the doctor involved in the case had no say over his patient's treatment.
not curable and not treatable are two different things. I wish to God I didn't know this, but I do.
God bless her! I pray for her and her family. I'd never vote for John Edwards, but he and his family have my prayers.
Kay Yow is one of my heroes. As the head basketball coach for the NC State women's team, she is taking her team to the Sweet 16 this weekend despite undergoing chemo and biologic treatments for advanced breast cancer. This woman had the choice of giving up and waiting to die, or fighting on and teaching young women about the power of faith and perserverence. Last fall you might have told her to stop living because she'd be dead in a year. But she looked at that year and said, I might as well have something to show for it. I'll chose the fighting spirits of the Kay Yows (and yes, Elizabeth Edwards) any day over the folks who believe that all is lost from the moment they hear the diagnosis.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/18/sports/ncaabasketball/18yow.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
It's not so much he needs to be with her as she dies, but to be with her as she lives, and with luck survives.
At least that's what I would do.
OMG is that his wife? She's lost 50-75 pounds since her last go-around of public appearances, and she looks ashen-gray. If Stage IV, then I'd give her 6 months, tops.
I suspect Mrs Edwards won't be around by 2008. The decision to stay in the race will ensure he doesn't get elected and does waste what little time Mrs Edwards has left.
The steps can be done in five minutes if you are strong and decide to live, denial isn't about giving up its denying you have the disease. Anger is the it isn't fair stage, acceptance isn't giving up its fighting in an informed and enlightened way.
And i repect you enough to allow you to make that decision for yourselves. This is one case where your way may not be the best way for another couple. That's all I'm saying. . .
BY your definition, what the Edwards are going may be the form of acceptance you are talking about. Life goes on. . .
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