Fat Offsets

3/21/2007 | Me

[BigBlueJon]

..."you owe me a check"....."I'm already starving many in the Third World."

Hey....the Fat Offset pie is big enough for a lot of us smart people to have a piece. I started my Fat Offset foundation, you can start yours.

[IslandJeff]

Is this a great country or what?

[BigBlueJon]

You're a great American. Obviously you realize the importance of reducing the "Fat Footprint" by buying Fat Offsets. Good luck with your carbon footprint.

[IslandJeff]

Well, I'm not sure I fully grasp the concept of the Adipose Offset, I CAAAAAAAARE and have to make everyone around me know it. Is that good enough?

[laterldf]

How about starting a SIN offset program?

I'd like to build up a bunch of credits
so I could start sinnin' again bigtime,
fulltime and not have to worry about guilt.

Or maybe I could just become a dimocrap again.

Lew, not ready to cast the first stone, in Ks.

[armymarinemom]

Fat Offsets, just like Carbon Offsets,

I realize that. Good grief.

[BigBlueJon]

"I realize that. Good grief."

Sorry if I made it appear as if you didn't know the difference of the two. That wasn't the intent. But, anyway, thanks for furthering the awareness of Fat Offsets.

[BigBlueJon]

"Is that good enough?"

It's a start, but not good enough. You have to buy the offsets to really show that you care. Otherwise you're still doing what you're doing with guilt. Offsets help to ease the guilt.

[IslandJeff]

Carbon offsets, unfortunately, are already available on eBay. I have a great friend who is offering to recycle for a month from the highest bidder. Since he's not in a municipal recycling Nanny State with automatic separation of garbage, his endeavor will require considerable effort.

For his extra driving, I'm giving him my carbon footprint credit, since I live in a small house and have a short commute.

Good luck. You, too, are a Great American. Raise awareness! It's for the children!

[Gator113]

Great idea!

I too will buy.

But first I need to know, will this change the answer I must give anytime my Bride asks me... " does this make my butt look bigger"?

[BigBlueJon]

" does this make my butt look bigger"?

You can by Fat Offsets in bulk. Say "No" guilt free.

[MaryFromMichigan]

I read the newspapers, so I know that fast food restaurants are the main reason many Americans are over weight.

McDonald's and Burger King virtually force Americans into their establishments to consume their fat laden products.

It's clear that they should be made to pay their fair share of fat offsets.

It's not only to punish them because they are money grubbing big business, it also will give them some legal shelter.

When faced with lawsuits that claim McDonald's made their kid fat, McDonald's corporate attorneys could point with pride to their purchases of "fat offsets".

(Everything I learned about extortion solicitation for donations I learned from Jesse Jackson.)

[BigBlueJon]

We have somebody lined up for marketing and somebody for sales. Now we have you to line up our corporate relations. See, everyone can play a part and make money, and more importantly, raise awareness.

[BigLittle]

Work at last! Now we can eat!

[Mr. K]

I am offering sin-offsets. You can do whatever you want but buy sin-credits from nuns (at least that is where I think I will get them)

I also have a nifty marketing name for the product: "Indulgences"(tm)!

(patent pending)