I wanted to add though that you did an incredible job caring for your family. Alzheimers is such a horrendous disease. I lost my Grandpa 6 years ago and my Grandma a few months back due to Alzheimers. What you did was amazing, caring for your husband at home. Both my Grandparents were in nursing homes, as they were no longer trusted not to wander out the door. No one could watch the full time, and my Grandma was not strong enough to handle my Grandpa. My Grandpa simply gave up eating at the end, and he refused any food. Our family attempted a feeding tube, but his brain didn't know how to process the nutrients so it was basically useless. My Granmda, Mom, and Aunt went daily and watched him lose much weight until he eventually died. My Grandma had Alzheimers and was beginning to wander. We put her in a nice assisted living for Alzheimers patiens, but she eventually got too weak. She was moved to full time nursing where she finally began to stop eating, and she then suffered a stroke. They kept her comfortable in the hospital for several days until she passed. Having gone through two family members with Alzheimers, I hope to never go through it again. Watching them constantly forget and repeat the same thing over and over, watching them decline is miserable. In some ways, my Grandparents had no real clue they were losing their minds, and it was very hard on the family. I hope some day that they find a cure for such a disease. God Bless you for the care you provided your husband until the end!
Thank you for your kind words. One serious problem is that there is not education in this country on how to care for the terminally ill at home. The big money is in drugs, hospitals and nursing homes, so we the people are left uneducated. I am currently writing up my experience caring for my husband in great detail (8,000 words so far) and perhaps will get it published.
You mention the Grandma was not strong enough to handle Grandpa. Fortunately, I was 9 years younger than my husband, and in good physical condition. Nevertheless, I put on 30 pounds (not intentionally, but because of stress) and used that weight to pin him to the bed when he wanted to go out at four in the morning in the city. During the day he escaped a few times and disappeared and I had to call the police. Usually I could follow him down the block, and coax him back to the house for some food.
When he started to become paranoid and violent, the VA provided medication which made the problem manageable. I had previously taught classes in therapeutic nutrition, and feed him very well, as well as giving him a number of vitamin, mineral and herbal supplements. This kept him in generally good health, so that he only began to have serious physical problems in the last month of his life. I knew that when he could no longer swallow the supplements he would probably die soon and that is exactly what happened.