From Valerie, the "Crazy Cat Lady" that you have all been taking shots at: First of all, I would like to say that the SF Childfree Meetup group is NOT a support group - it is simply a social group to meet other people with the same interests. If you looked at our site, or read the complete article in question, you would see that. I would also like to say, to all of you who say my cat is unhappy, that my cats (all of them) are very happy, but for some reason the Chronicle chose to publish the one photo where, after several flashes going off in her face, my cat became impatient and looks a bit purturbed.
To address some of the comments here: {I do find it a little amusing that no one in San Francisco has a problem with adults that want to live "child-free" wanting to go places where they won't encounter children, but would be up in arms if someone started a "gay free" podcast for people who didn't want to be around homosexuals.} We never said that we want to go places that are child free. Our group is simply for people who don't need to hire sitters in order to get together. I don't hate kids. I don't tell other people how to live, and frankly I am at a loss as to why anyone cares whether or not I have children. Please explain to me how this affects you all, or why you care? I don't care if you have kids, I just don't happen to want them and am tired of explaining this to the world at large.
{So with all those pots and pans in her kitchen, who does she cook for? The cats?} I am actually a gourmet cook, who has many, many friends (gay, straight, single, couples, who I cook for. The cats eat cat food. Why do I need kids in order to cook? Not sure I understand your point.
{Look, if she doesn't want to have kids, that's fine, but there's no need to form an organization about it, which will inevitably escalate into demanding special rights and privileges. Besides, who'd want to procreate with these broads anyway? These women couldn't get a man if it was closing time at the bar and were the only gals inside of it.} There is a need for me to meet other people with similar interests. There are book clubs, language clubs, etc. This doesn't mean we want any sort of priveledges, etc, just that we want to meet other people like us. Don't you tend to hang out with people who share your interests? Why is that wrong? And to the man comment - most in our group are married, and the single ones date regularly, just like everyone else.
{Where are these thundering herds calling out " breed, breed, BREED"? What? You don't know. Don't be surprised, I can't see or hear them either.} Frankly, they are everywhere. Just because you stay out of other people's business, don't assume everyone else does. All my life people have tried to convince me to have kids. Again, I ask, Why do you all care so much??? How does this affect you, personally? I have had to explain this endlessly since I was old enough to have kids.
{but whose gonna pay for HER AND HER HUSBANDS social security when they retire??? if we don't at least replace the population social secutiy will become extinct and there will be a shitload of elderly and NO ONE to take care of them.} We all pay for our own retirement. I have a retirement plan, and don't expect my children to pay for me. Talk about selfish. The world is overpopulated as it is - why do you think you need my offspring?
{I really wish here mother made the decision to be child free.} What is with all of the mean-spirited comments towards me? You don't know me. I don't say mean things about you. I don't wish you dead, or never having been born. I don't tell you what to do with your body. And yet once again, you attack me.
{Surely, you and I can agree that parenthood is not for everyone. No? And if so, why would you want to call this lady a crackpot?} To Old Possum - thank you!!! My point exactly. Old Possum, you are very articulate, and my thanks for your words not only in this post, but in subsequent ones.
And lastly {I don't advertise my life decisions on the Internet, she does, and celebrates it, even to the point of getting an SF Chronicle article written about it. Thats the difference.} I didn't go looking for the Chronicle article. They came to me. Obviously, the writer had an interest and curiousity about us and our decision/lifestyle. We are not the type of people to search out our 15 minutes, but agreed to talk to the writer because she (although she has children) was understanding and sympathetic to us.
"What is with all of the mean-spirited comments towards me?"
Unfortunately, all large groups are bound to have a few jerks. You can rest assured you're not the first childless person to be needlessly bashed on FreeRepbulic.
There are a lot of people who seem to be disturbed when their choices are not ratified by the behavior of others. Many here mistakenly believed you to be one of them, and clearly, your response shows to me that you are not.
I had three kids, and since two of them took their mother's side after a subsequent custody battle (where she wanted to marry-and eventually did-a convicted child rapist) you can correctly surmise that my fatherhood experience was one of my regrets in life. Of course, everyone's mileage may vary.
My significant other and I will be moving in next month, and she has remained childless. We understand completely your feeling about being able to go out, and not have to deal with someone else's spoiled brats. It's too bad the upscale hamburger restaurants (like Red Robin in my area) are visited by those with children who would be much happier playing in the plastic balls at McDonald's 'PlayLand'. We've actually found ourselves taking advantage of the fact that the lounges have become smokefree in our respective states in order to comfortably eat a meal.
Again, thanks for taking the time to respond, you remind folks here that sometimes they are sniping about real people when they spout intolerance for those whose lifestyle choices don't completely match their own.
The group that particularly "gets my goat" are the ones that say: "But how are you going to get by in your old age without children to support you?" In other words, they are admitting that they are in the business of producing little support mechanisms for their old age, and that has always struck me as selfish and a bit odd.
And thank you for the compliment. On threads like these, all I usually get are criticism and derision. But I wouldn't change any major life decision I've ever made. I did what was best for me, and if others don't like it, tough. I suspect that that might be your attitude too, but you're much too much the lady to say it.
"The world is overpopulated as it is - why do you think you need my offspring?"
I think this is a big part of so much confusion; the need to save the world is like wanting to be a fireman, it sounds so unselfish and full of promise until boredom sets in.
OTOH, when someone is making podcasts ending with "Keep from breeding!" as the article reports, that's not a leave us alone statement. In fact, that's a perverse and destructive statement and issue should be taken with it.
With regard to the cat, I was tempted to post something snarky about it until you explained about the media manipulation, in which case you have my sincere sympathy.
Thanks for coming on “Crazy Cat Lady” ;-) Hope you stick around!
(I posted that I respect your choice)
And for the record...the real crazy cat ladies have at least six times the number of cats you have, so I’m not sure you can claim the title!