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How Not to Talk to Your Kids (The Inverse Power of Praise)
New York (mag) ^ | 02/19/07(publish date?) | Po Bronson

Posted on 02/14/2007 10:56:17 PM PST by TigerLikesRooster

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To: Miss Marple
Re #40

Some kids pick up math real fast. It is one of talents which can start early in some kids.

On the other hand, math up to junior high and in some cases high school are mainly about getting used to notations and concepts. You don't play with them much.

Once you are confronted with a problem which require a series of serious reasonings, you know what the real math is about. Math for younger kids could give them impression that it is a boring "routine."

41 posted on 02/15/2007 5:38:44 AM PST by TigerLikesRooster (kim jong-il, kae jong-il, chia head, pogri, midget sh*tbag)
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To: TigerLikesRooster

He seems to have the ability to have total recall about whatever is explained to him. This means he doesn't need to review materials and makes it hard to show him the value in doing homework.

For any logical problems, like math and geometry he has discovered his own ways of solving math problems before he is taught them. I attribute these discoveries to his ability to focus and apply past learning to current problems. This often results in him having what he believes are more efficient methods to solve problems than those taught by what he thinks are not so bright teachers.

He is able to take what he learns and break it down to simple to understand steps on terms other kids understand. This has made him very popular with his peers because he is helpful to them in subjects beyond school. But it makes him a bit critical of teachers with lesser skills.


42 posted on 02/15/2007 6:08:01 AM PST by Raycpa
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To: Miss Marple
became convinced that he had a learning disability. (Gifted kids are also quite good at making excuses...LOL.)

My son doesn't get away with excuses but we do discuss how well his excuses are constructed logically and their relative strengths and weaknesses. It gives us a chance to help him increase his reasoning and debate skills.

43 posted on 02/15/2007 6:10:46 AM PST by Raycpa
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To: Miss Marple

I'm dealing with perfectionism in an oldest child now. She had just turned four when it was obvious what was going on. She refused (in tears) to hand write her letters because she knew it was her weak point. She was reading books at that age, though.

Now she's in first grade and is having outbursts in class when she gets something wrong or isn't first finished. She knows that isn't the way to behave, of course, and one trip to the principal's office helped her deal with that problem on a certain level.

The only thing she still doesn't get 100's in is handwriting. The teacher tells me she will erase and erase and erase to get it right, but it's just something she's not going to master without a lot more practice.

Although it seems counter-intuitive, I'm going to see about putting her ahead one grade. The principal thought it would work best if done halfway through this first grade year. I feel that she's not being challenged (her standardized tests came back in Kindergarten as 5th grade for reading and 3rd grade for math). Her focus has changed from learning to being first and perfect in her class, because there's likely nothing new for her to learn.

I thought I was always careful not to push or praise and all that, but I can definitely take this study to heart and be more careful in my choice of words when she's obviously seeking and needing some praise and affirmation.


44 posted on 02/15/2007 7:39:21 AM PST by agrarianlady
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To: TigerLikesRooster

Interesting article I'll have to check in detail tomorrow...


45 posted on 02/15/2007 9:07:58 AM PST by AFPhys ((.Praying for President Bush, our troops, their families, and all my American neighbors..))
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To: DJ Frisat

*Raies hand*

Also, had 9 different majors and finally (after starting in 1986) graduated after many years off in May of 2006. 20 years, 212 credit hours for a 4 year, 120 credit hour degree. Hmmmmm.... Maybe Math wasn't such a good first major.

Paul


46 posted on 02/15/2007 9:37:39 AM PST by spacewarp (Gun control is a tight cluster grouping in the chest and one in the forehead.)
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To: TigerLikesRooster

A true thirst for knowledge will be slaked even though miles of desert and gullies of ignorance must be traversed.


47 posted on 02/15/2007 9:58:32 AM PST by Old Professer (The critic writes with rapier pen, dips it twice, and writes again.)
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To: DJ Frisat

I did, but would rather use Vi.

For those who use MACs or others - non-Unix/Linux types

Emacs falls somewhere between the straightforward Pico and the complicated Vi. Unlike Vi, you don't need to switch between modes to perform basic text editing functions. Sadly, the vast set of powerful commands themselves are difficult to remember. The Emacs link includes basic information on Emacs for situations where you may encounter it or for those who use it on an occasional basis.


48 posted on 02/15/2007 10:44:46 AM PST by ASOC (The phrase "What if" or "If only" are for children.)
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To: momincombatboots

One of my grandsons was told he is too smart to work construction like his father. So, he decided he would be an architect. I've watched him over the years and he shows no interest in anything in that line of work. He told me just a few months ago that he still wanted to be an architect. I didn't comment.

What I think is happening, is that he is now using "I want to be an architect" to put off thinking about other possibilities. Or maybe he feels obligated to stick with the architect thing. I recently made the decision to talk to his mom (my daughter) about it. I thought maybe if she could talk to him and find a way to release him from the statement he made a few years back, that it might help. Because he really is smart. He's always been at the top of his class, but he isn't putting in the effort now.


49 posted on 02/15/2007 11:14:52 AM PST by sageb1 (This is the Final Crusade. There are only 2 sides. Pick one.)
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To: 7thson
In his case, he did not fold but worked harder.

I think that speaks to the character education/work ethic instilled by the family. Many of the parents of gifted students have issues, too, that because their child is "smart" any grade less than an A is teacher error. They may be right in a particular instance. But when it becomes a knee-jerk entitlement thing it is bad example for the child.

50 posted on 02/15/2007 12:27:47 PM PST by Lil'freeper (You do not have the plug-in required to view this tagline.)
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To: Explorer89
Me! Me! And I'm proficient in vi as well.

Vi. *shudder* I can hold my own, but it's my choice of last resort.

51 posted on 02/15/2007 12:30:42 PM PST by Lil'freeper (You do not have the plug-in required to view this tagline.)
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To: Lil'freeper
I'd never make it on Jeapordy

mostly because I can't spell.

J-E-O-P-A-R-D-Y

52 posted on 02/15/2007 12:32:38 PM PST by Lil'freeper (You do not have the plug-in required to view this tagline.)
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To: Miss Marple
I have often wondered if brains mature at different rates for different types of skills.

Yes, they do. It is an inconvenient fact that doesn't fit with the assembly-line mentality upon which most curricula and schools are based. If your reading skills doesn't mature at the appointed hour - you get a label and have to go to remedial courses. If you don't get abstract thinking at the decreed point in math (and many girls are slow to arrive at this level) then the educrats wring their hands and cry about how we're failing girls. Ironically, self-paced learning is poo-poo'd for lack of rigor when attempted in schools but is the secret behind homeschooling's success.

53 posted on 02/15/2007 12:40:01 PM PST by Lil'freeper (You do not have the plug-in required to view this tagline.)
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To: TigerLikesRooster
Dr. Mahzarin Banaji, a Harvard social psychologist who is an expert in stereotyping, told me, “Carol Dweck is a flat-out genius.

LOL! Like that's going to help her.

54 posted on 02/15/2007 1:27:42 PM PST by Physicist
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To: TigerLikesRooster

I used vi, emacs, and pico at one time or another in grad school, along with whatever the native VAX text editor was called. Haven't used them since, although my 1st edition "UNIX for Dummies" book is still on my shelf.


55 posted on 02/15/2007 3:05:07 PM PST by MikeD (We live in a world where babies are like velveteen rabbits that only become real if they are loved.)
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To: TigerLikesRooster
"Emphasizing effort gives a child a variable that they can control," she explains. "They come to see themselves as in control of their success. Emphasizing natural intelligence takes it out of the child’s control, and it provides no good recipe for responding to a failure."

I think this is the gist of the whole article. According to her experiments, it looks like she's probably right. It makes sense too.

56 posted on 02/15/2007 3:11:55 PM PST by TChris (The Democrat Party: A sewer into which is emptied treason, inhumanity and barbarism - O. Morton)
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