Posted on 02/06/2007 8:11:19 AM PST by Froufrou
One of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counseling for the Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged convinced that he is "completely heterosexual." Haggard also said his sexual contact with men was limited to the former male prostitute who came forward with sexual allegations, the Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur told The Denver Post for a story in Tuesday's edition. "He is completely heterosexual," Ralph said. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing." Ralph said the board spoke with people close to Haggard while investigating his claim that his only extramarital sexual contact happened with Mike Jones. The board found no evidence to the contrary. "If we're going to be proved wrong, somebody else is going to come forward, and that usually happens really quickly," he said. "We're into this thing over 90 days and it hasn't happened." Haggard resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals last year after allegations of sexual misconduct surfaced. He was also forced out from the 14,000 New Life Church that he founded years ago in his basement after Jones alleged Haggard paid him for sex and sometimes used methamphetamine when they were together. Haggard, who is married, has publicly admitted to "sexual immorality."
(Excerpt) Read more at foxnews.com ...
Is it just me, or does it not occur to other people that continuing to bring up one's oafishness only continues to make one appear even more oafish???
It's just you.
Reminds me of an old joke. Three seminarians have to pass one final test before they're allowed to become priests. A small bell is attached to a certain part of their anatomy and then they're shown pictures of beautiful women. The first guy is shown the pictures and almost immediately the bell goes ding-a-ling. The bishop admonishes him and tells him to go take a cold shower. The second guy starts looking and pretty soon he too hears the ding-a-ling. He's told to join the first guy in the showers. The last guy stars looking and looking, but nothing happens. By the time the test is over he's got beads of sweat on his forehead, but the bell never rings. "My son, you have succeeded where the others have failed." the bishop tells him. "Now go join the others and wash the sweat off." Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling....
From "Biggles dictates a letter"
Biggles: (into the intercom) Ginger.
Ginger: Hello, sweetie.
Biggles: I have to see you.
(The door opens, Ginger enters as a terrible poof in camp flying gear, sequins, eye make-up, silver stars on his cheeks.)
Ginger: Yes, Biggles?
Biggles: Are you a poof?
Ginger: (camp outrage) I should say not.
Biggles: Thank God for that. Good lad. (Ginger exits) Stout fellow, salt of the earth, backbone of England. Funny, he looks like a poof.
No soup for you!
It must have been the ultimate performance benchmark - the Helen Thomas test.
And having been caught living a lie for all those years who wouldn't believe him now?
You've done enough damage already. This is not helpful.
Merle you thought? Not hardly! But it is a sheer coincidence you know...
'Ted Haggard's Greatest Hits'
(from K-Yel Records)
1. Swinging Bath House Doors
2. The Booty Let Me Down
3. I'm A Lonesome Fruitcake
4. Branded (Gay) Man
5. Sing Me Back Homo
6. Mama Tried (her dresses on me)
7. Ooopsie From Patootsi
8. The Frilly Side Of Me
9. Sissy Frank (The Interior Decorating Guy)
10. I Think I'll Just Stay Here And Swish
11. Going Where The Lonely Go (the HIV Clinic song)
12. Back Door Buddies
The poof is in the pudding...........
Doctors say they could cure it, but gay wrongs activists are throwing a hithy fit (Hissy fit with heavy lithhhp).
And from now on, he will only give a lewinski to a straight guy.
Those ministers should bottle that "cure" and take it to San Francisco.
Oh, I'm sure there's a gay Gene, but he probably goes by Eugene.
"Ralph & co. are completely gullible," hellinahandcart said. "That is something I've discovered."
Haggard may or may not be "completely heterosexual". He is and has been an apostate preacher, leading people away from the Truth of God's Word.
Background from a couple years back, here:
http://menofhonorministry.org/Discipleship/PK.htm
ROFLOL. Now, that's just too funny.
I say, tie him to a big stone and throw him in the river, if he floats, he's still gay, if he sinks, then he's cured... :)
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