Posted on 01/28/2007 5:36:34 AM PST by Chi-townChief
It has become one of the great American sports traditions, the political bet. A major game gets people all worked up and happy at the same time, not worrying about snow removal, potholes or taxes. And that makes it safe for a governor or mayor to get in on it. So rival politicians bet something that screams out the identity of their hometowns. Two weeks ago the Bears beat the Seattle Seahawks, and Mayor Daley took Seattle Mayor Greg Nickles for beer, coffee and salmon. (Too bad that when the stuff arrived, the beer bottles had broken and drenched the coffee-flavored chocolates.) Last week the Bears beat the New Orleans Saints, and Mayor Daley won beignets.
But with the Bears about to play the Indianapolis Colts in the Super Bowl, we have a problem:
What could Indiana possibly have to bet that we would want?
I mean, Chicago can offer Indiana pizza, ribs, beef sandwiches and dental work. But do we really need ballcaps with farm company names on them?
Rumor has it Indianapolis Gov. Mitch Daniels wants to offer up Gary.
I don't often admit this, but I have some friends in Indiana. I called them to ask what they could bet.
''How about corn?''
We have corn.
''Soy?''
Another Indiana friend said they love their pork-tenderloin sandwiches, and that did sound good.
''Pork tenderloin and a carton of cigarettes,'' he said.
Someone else suggested tickets to the Indy 500, but there are two problems with that: One, they just drive around in circles all day. Two, we have to go to Indiana to see it.
Indiana has a serious image problem in Chicago. To us, it seems like a big truck stop between cities.
A few years ago, my brother-in-law started dating a woman from Fort Wayne. Before meeting her, I had to keep reminding myself to talk slowly and not stare at her tooth.
Channeling Royko Indiana has Notre Dame, but that always seemed like a Chicago school filled with Chicago kids. They had a great movie, ''Hoosiers.'' But the story of Illinois' tiny Hebron was just as good. Their greatest sports hero is a guy who wore red sweaters, threw chairs across a basketball court and choked his own players. Eventually, they kicked him out.
''Eli Lilly is based in Indianapolis,'' a friend said.
Yes, but why would we need Prozac if the Bears win?
''They also make Cialis.''
Here's a thought: If the Bears win, then Indiana gives back Eric Gordon. He's the high school basketball phenom from Indianapolis who had committed to the Illini until new Indiana coach Kelvin Sampson got him to change his mind.
I do have a thing against Indiana. It is ingrained in all Chicagoans. And then confirmed through experience.
For Chicagoans, these feelings came to a head in 1982 with Mike Royko's columns in the Sun-Times. And part of the fun was watching Indiana people get so uppity about it.
''For most males in Indiana, a real good time consists of putting on bib overalls and a cap bearing the name of a farm equipment company and sauntering to a gas station to sit around and gossip about how Elmer couldn't get his pickup truck started that morning,'' he wrote.
And this: ''Its only large cities are Indianapolis and Gary, which give you the choice of dying of boredom or of multiple gunshot wounds.''
God, he would have loved this Bears-Colts week.
One time in Indianapolis, I went to grab some dinner just after 10 p.m., and everything was closed. I ended up having to go to a White Castle, where I stood in line for 20 minutes behind a hooker and a pimp. I wrote about that once, and several people from Indiana asked why I wanted to eat that late in the first place.
Once after a basketball game, I went to a nearby bar in downtown Indianapolis. The place was packed with everyone having fun, and they were playing retro music from the 1970s. It was a nice community thing, how everyone had bought into the whole theme and dressed in 1970s clothes and hair.
Turned out, that wasn't a theme.
Do they know what a Hoosier is? These people excitedly call themselves Hoosiers, without knowing what it means. There all sorts of theories. In the old days, Indiana people were so rough that they always would fight in bars. By the end of the night, someone would see a piece of something on the floor and ask, ''Whose ear?'' Eventually, that morphed into Hoosier.
But on indiana.edu, Jeffrey Graf of the reference department of the Indiana University Libraries says that Southerners used to use the term Hoosier ''to denote a rustic, a bumpkin, a countryman, a roughneck, a hick or an awkward, uncouth or unskilled fellow.''
He described the ''cousins'' of the word Hoosier to be ''cracker'' and ''redneck.''
So here's the deal: If the Colts win, Indiana promises to keep its stuff.
Letters to our sports columnists appear Sunday. Send e-mail to inbox@suntimes.com. Include your full name, hometown and a daytime phone number.
well, in about a week, indy will have a superbowl trophy. would chicago like that?
I agree. Downtown Indy is bustling, at least on weekends. Who goes to downtown Chicago? During the day,yes. It was always dead at night. I don't count the Navy Pier. I lived in Dayton, too and you're right. It's been dead during the day for years, ever since the Arcade closed.
Diehard Browns fan who grew up in Cleveland and has lived in Indy for 24 yrs.
Great town, wonderful place to raise my kids, most likely I'll retire here too. IIRC the best ratio of salaries to housing cost in the country.
Irsay blows (taxpayer fleecing owner) but Manning and Dungy seem like stand-up guys.
SB 41 really should be played at Ross-Ade, ND, or Champaign.
It has been a few years since we've been there, but I'm surprised the Park Rangers didn't stop that cr@p. They used to be pretty tough.
But I (we) always went/go to the camp ground area. The only worry there was the raccoons - bold as hell to get food. And we'd usually walk to the beach depending how hot it was. There's a trail from the campground.
"Chicago can offer ... dental work"
Oh, my. Oh, my, my, my.
This is gonna be nasty. LOL
I have no dog in this fight either, but I have very fond memories of Indiana. First, the church I grew up in is HQ'ed in Anderson and my family and I would go to camp meeting every year when I was growing up. Friendly people all around. Nice small town and great soft serve ice cream. My second encounter with Indiana was going to Navy technical school at Ft. Ben. Harrison. Every Friday night on payday, all us Navy gals would go to the Emporium bar where they had a vast collection of beer available. We'd also hang out at a bar near the post, play pool and sing to the jukebox. I like small towns and the friendly people you normally meet there. I hope the Colts plant Grossman into the ground.
"There's no cultural centers, every place downtown is closed early, it's a ghost town after 9 pm.'
When you finally decide to leave, don't go to Amarillo, Texas. It exactly the same, only with more used mattress stores downtown.
"When you finally decide to leave, don't go to Amarillo, Texas. It exactly the same, only with more used mattress stores downtown."
lol. Ok. Same goes for Lansing, MI.
All written in the spirit of honest competition. I am sure that there will be similar articles from the newspapers in Indiana.
Indy apparently lacks the character to rename the team to something related to their city. I might suggest "Indianapolis Glasses of Milk".
Funny thing is, their QB is a Hoosier. Considering his inconstancy; I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. :-/
Not sure if they have anything I want. I know I'm tired of liberal Chigaoians moving down here.
And that's just the politicians. It goes downhill from there. They even let criminals play on the team and give them special recognition for breaking the law.
If you see one, let me know :)
I'm Cleveland fan but live in Indy.
I agree 100% the Colts name and memorabilia should have stayed in Baltimore, as the Browns stuff did in Cleveland.
Even after 22 years the name "Indianapolis Colts" just doesn't sound right.
Many folks thought "Indianapolis Irsays" would be appropriate. After all the Browns were named after Paul Brown, so why not use the owner's name in Indianapolis? And the Baltimore "Ravens" name sounds wrong too.
Having said all this, there's no chance any of it will change.
Geez, give it a rest. Not our fault. I hate milk. Some of us do ride horses. Nice horse farms around. Do people in all the important parts of the USA drink milk?
Move to Indianapolis? For what?
Do you know how you can tell the toothbrush was invented in Indiana and not Illinois? Because if it had been invented in Illinois it would have been called a teeth brush.
Y'all will just go and try and stick mudflaps on it.
If you're into auto racing, it's unbeatable.
Indy 500
Formula 1
Nascar
US National Drags
coming soon: Grand Prix motorcycles
plus a plethora of short track activity all over the region
and a huge number of racing teams, equipment manufacturers, suppliers, etc.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.