[Lady Jag]

Salesman

Morris walks into an insurance office and asks for a job.

"We don't need anyone" they replied.

"You can't afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone, anytime, anything!"

"Well we have two prospects that No One has been able to sell. If you can sell just one, you have a job."

He was gone about two hours, and returned and handed them two checks, one for $25,000.00 and another for $50,000.00.

"How in the world did you do that?" they asked.

"I told you I'm the worlds best salesman, I can sell anyone, anywhere, anytime!"

"Did you get a urine sample?" they asked him.

"What's that?" he asked.

"Well, if you sell a policy over $20,000.00 the company requires a urine sample. Take these two bottles and go back and get urine samples."

Morris was gone about 6 hours and they were fixing to close when in he walks in with two five gallon buckets, one in each hand. He sets the buckets down, and reaches in his shirt pocket and produces two bottles of urine, and sets them on the desk and says "Here's Mr.Brown's and this one is Mr.Smith's."

"That's good" they said, "but what's in those two buckets?"

"Well, I passed by the Holiday Inn and they were having a state teachers convention, so I stopped and sold them a group policy!"

[beachn4fun]

[E.G.C.]

((LOL))

((HUGS))Good morning, L.J. How's it going?

[stand watie]

LOL!

free dixie,sw

[Soaring Feather]

"Well, I passed by the Holiday Inn and they were having a state teachers convention, so I stopped and sold them a group policy!"


Good grief!

[MEG33]

LOL!

[Seadog Bytes]

...Morris?   ...Did YOU say... MORRIS...???!!!

 If You Want Someone...

 
If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports section....

...then get a dog.

If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you....

...then get a dog.

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says it's not quite as good as his mother made it.....

...then get a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want....

...then get a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies....

...then get a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores....

...then get a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually....

...then get a dog.

But... on the other hand... if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness.... 
 
   
  
 
 
 
 
 

...then...
...by all MEANS...
...go ahead and...
...get that  D*MN CAT!!!

Now... What did you really expect...???

[potlatch]

Lol, gross but very funny!! Thanks.