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The single life adds up to grief
Waterbury Republican-American ^ | January 21, 2007 | Editorial

Posted on 01/21/2007 12:38:37 PM PST by Graybeard58

America has reached "the tipping point" on marriage, and The New York Times couldn't be happier. Its analysis of Census data shows 51 percent of women were living without a spouse in 2005, up from 35 percent in 1950.

Through surrogates, the Times celebrated the news as liberating and empowering for women. One single 45-year-old gushed: "Considering all the weddings I attended in the '80s that have ended so very, very badly, I consider myself straight up lucky." Chimed in a 59-year-old divorcee: "A gentleman asked me to marry him and I said no. I told him, 'I'm just beginning to fly again, I'm just beginning to be me. Don't take that away.'" I am woman. Hear me roar.

The Times let not one soul defend marriage, but that's typical of how the news media and popular culture treat society's bedrock institution. They are pessimistic about and hostile to it. They emphasize marital failures, chiefly divorce and domestic violence, rather than its joys and benefits. They bombard the public with messages that marriage isn't worth the time and effort, and that divorce is good for families. This requires them to paper over the incalculable damage divorce has inflicted upon society, especially children.

Copious empirical evidence proves marriage is the best deal for women and men, to the point where a bad marriage is still better than a "good divorce," the ultimate oxymoron. Married women are healthier and wealthier, live longer, have more settled lives with less stress, have less substance abuse, are less prone to risky behavior, and have more sex and more fulfilling sex.

Marriage may not immunize children from social ills, but children of divorce or unwed mothers are at much greater risk of poverty, welfare dependency, crime, academic underachievement and illegal drug abuse. Yet of the 4.1 million babies born in this country in 2004, more than a third were to unmarried women. But the illegitimacy rate is 69.5 percent for black children and 48 percent for Hispanic children. The poverty rate for children of married couples is 8 percent; among single-parent households, it's 35 percent. Cause and effect are unmistakable.

The Times' take on the Census data, however, "suggests that most girls growing up today can look forward to spending more of their lives outside of a traditional marriage," said William Frey, a demographer with the liberal Brookings Institution. Given what most unwed women can expect out of life, "look forward" is a most unfortunate choice of words.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News
KEYWORDS: marriage; married; moralabsolutes; single; unmarried
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My wife and I have been married since we were babies, I just asked her what our opinion is on marriage and she says we wouldn't have it any other way.

(I agree with her)

1 posted on 01/21/2007 12:38:37 PM PST by Graybeard58
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To: redpoll; Diana in Wisconsin; mosquewatch.com; litehaus; gogogodzilla; A Balrog of Morgoth; ...

Ping to a Republican-American Editorial.

If you want on or off this ping list, let me know.


2 posted on 01/21/2007 12:39:45 PM PST by Graybeard58 (Remember and pray for SSgt. Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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To: nmh; elkfersupper; DCPatriot; traviskicks; Gene Eric; Captain Marvell; ChessExpert; ...

Ping to a Republican-American Editorial.

If you want on or off this ping list, let me know.


3 posted on 01/21/2007 12:40:26 PM PST by Graybeard58 (Remember and pray for SSgt. Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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To: Graybeard58

"Married women... have more sex, and more fulfilling sex."

........and if that doesn't make you suspicious of your wife, nothing will.

(That's the collective 'you')


4 posted on 01/21/2007 12:45:46 PM PST by ArmstedFragg
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To: Graybeard58

Marriage is good for some people and it doesn't work for others - It's up to the individual to figure out what is best for their lives... imo


5 posted on 01/21/2007 12:46:32 PM PST by The Worthless Miracle (I think Jamie Dupree is annoying.)
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Comment #6 Removed by Moderator

To: Graybeard58

Count "us" in! My hubby is napping at the current moment, but I am sure he agrees. Especially when I make that lasagne dinner later-followed by chocolate cake!


7 posted on 01/21/2007 12:46:57 PM PST by karatemom (Jesus saves.)
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To: The Worthless Miracle

Exactly.
There are some people who should get married, just as there are some people who shouldn't have kids. The people who judge when others make choices like this are idiots of the lowest order.


8 posted on 01/21/2007 12:50:44 PM PST by RedStateRocker (Nuke Mecca, Deport all illegals, abolish the IRS, ATF and DEA)
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To: RedStateRocker

I meant "There are people who should *NOT* get married..."


9 posted on 01/21/2007 12:51:33 PM PST by RedStateRocker (Nuke Mecca, Deport all illegals, abolish the IRS, ATF and DEA)
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To: The Worthless Miracle; RedStateRocker

My opinion is that those who criticize people who never marry are completely grabbed with jealousy. There's no other explanation.


10 posted on 01/21/2007 12:58:28 PM PST by Hildy (Words are mere bubbles of water...but deeds are drops of gold.)
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To: Graybeard58

A somewhat elderly couple became involved with each other and were starting to consider marriage.

The man asked, "What is your opinion on lovemaking?"

She said delicately, "I like it infrequently."

The man said hopefully, "Is that one word or two?"


11 posted on 01/21/2007 1:04:30 PM PST by aviator (Armored Pest Control)
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To: Graybeard58
The New York Times couldn't be happier.

It's envy driven so the happiness is a false one, evil and short lived. They are driven to destroy others having normal lives that they were not successful at themselves.

12 posted on 01/21/2007 1:06:26 PM PST by Reeses
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To: Hildy

Certainly has been my experience. I joke about being a team player at work saying "I'll go home if you don't need me today!!" My co-workers need the money and "can't" go home without pay, but are resentful when I do. I've said to them, "I made different choices. Do you regret having a successful marriage and your kids?" I wish I had found someone I could be comfortable with for life, I'm weird and like being alone. I also can by a Jaguar and live on five acres with my animals on a mountain ridge.


13 posted on 01/21/2007 1:10:18 PM PST by az wildkitten
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To: Graybeard58

Reminds me of the old joke that marriage is like a city under siege. Everybody on the inside wants out, and everybody on the outside wants in.


14 posted on 01/21/2007 1:12:27 PM PST by Hardastarboard (DemocraticUnderground.com is an internet hate site.)
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To: Graybeard58

"Married women are healthier and wealthier, live longer, have more settled lives with less stress, have less substance abuse, are less prone to risky behavior, and have more sex and more fulfilling sex."

I'm assuming the author is referring to a HAPPILY married woman, i.e. married to a HAPPY, healthy man who encourages her to be her "own person".
I've been married twice. The first time was a mistake of youth. The second time was 14 years later to a handsome, intelligent and charming man who eventually revealed his true psychotic self.

I am single and loving every single minute of my independent, single life.


15 posted on 01/21/2007 1:15:38 PM PST by fivecatsandadog (Don't let reality ruin your day.)
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To: Graybeard58
"A gentleman asked me to marry him and I said no"

Tell yourself that long enough and you begin to believe it.


16 posted on 01/21/2007 1:15:40 PM PST by I see my hands (_8(|)
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To: Graybeard58

I'm 43, devastatingly handsome ;) and have been single forever. I think I need to find a "freeper" woman who understands me.

We need a free republic singles network or something.


17 posted on 01/21/2007 1:17:46 PM PST by word_warrior_bob (You can now see my amazing doggie on my homepage!! Come say hello to Jake.)
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To: Graybeard58

The single life may add on to grief, but the current state of family law [both in its text and in the practice of its application] adds to that grief even more, and could be seen as a causative agent.


18 posted on 01/21/2007 1:19:21 PM PST by GSlob
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To: Graybeard58

Hasn't this report been discredited? They counted "women" as all females 16 and older, whereas most do not marry before their early 20's, at least. And women still do outlive men, so the majority of older women are single (widowed or divorced).
They also counted women whose husbands are serving in the military as "living alone".

You can make any story you want as long as you choose your "statistics" appropriately.


19 posted on 01/21/2007 1:19:49 PM PST by speekinout
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To: Graybeard58

My husband and I got married when we were both 21. I can't wait till we turn 42 so we can say we have been married for half of our lives.


20 posted on 01/21/2007 1:21:10 PM PST by brwnsuga
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