IBM Posts Big Fourth-Quarter Profit Rise

_hg

We used to sing this song during Engineering week (St. Pat's week), at Mizzou in the '60s. I never forgot the words and have adhered to moral of the story for over 30 years.

To the tune of The Ballad of John Henry, The Steel-Drivin' Man

[Sung lyrics are in normal text; spoken narration is in italics.]

Now a famous American folktale...

When John Henry was a little baby,
He was sittin' on his mammy's knee,
When he picked up a slide rule and a book on mathematics,
Sayin' "Thinkin's gonna be the job for me,"
Sayin' "Thinkin's gonna be the job for me."

When John Henry was just a little baby, he decided that, when he grew up, he was gonna be a Thinkin' Man (with a filter!*). So he decided to go to college and learn all about thinkin'. Well, he did, and he learned all about:

Algebra and thinkin',
Geometry and thinkin',
Trigonometry and thinkin',
Calculus and thinkin',

(But he always had a little trouble with English, though...)

Grammar's gonna be the death of me, Lawd, Lawd.
Grammar's gonna be the death of me.

(He didn't do too well in Greek, either...)

Homer's gonna be the death of me, Lawd, Lawd.
Homer's gonna be the death of me.

John Henry finished college, and he became a very competent thinker (which is unusual); and he decided to go out into the business world, where they do a lot of heavy thinkin', and get himself a job as a Thinkin' Man.

Well, his first job was with the John Birch Society, thinkin' up Communists.
He had a little trouble with his next job, though. That was with the Ford Motor Company. Ha ha! He thought up the Edsel!
Then John Henry got a job with the CIA, thinkin' up excuses.

Well, as you all know, the government is very economy-minded, always trying to cut down on costs. So one day the CIA brought in an efficiency expert, trying to cut down on manpower. Well, he looked around and hollered out:

Automation! Automation! Automation!

Now the expert said to John Henry,
"I'm gonna bring me a computer out.
"I'm gonna bring me a computer,
"An electronic brain.
"Cybernetics gonna put the answer down.
"Computers help to keep the payroll down."

Now the man who invented the computer (la-di-da)
Was from a place called MIT.
Well, he punched out cards and tapes by the yard,
Hummin' Nearer My God To Thee,
Hummin' Nearer My God To Thee-ee-ee-ee.

Now John Henry said to the inventor,
"All your tubes don't mean a damn.
"All your wires and your circuits
"They are just a modern quirk. It's
"Never ever gonna beat a Thinkin' Man.
"They are never gonna beat a Thinkin' Man."

So it was proposed that John Henry and the computer have a race.

The inventor punched out a card for the computer...
John Henry stepped into the isolation booth...
Ralph Edwards** read him a question...

The race was on!

John Henry started in a-thinkin',
'Til his head glowed cherry-red.
There was smoke from his ears
And his eyes poured tears
And he thunk 'til his brain dropped dead--
THINK! THANK! THUNK!
Thunk 'til his brain dropped dead.

They took John Henry to the bughouse,
But still his legend grows.
Now please don't get us wrong,
There's a moral to this song:

"Don't ever doubt the thinkin' power of men."(But, on the other hand...)

"Don't ever sell your stock in I.B.M."

"IBM Posts Big Fourth-Quarter Profit Rise."

...and is down -$5.21/share in after hours trading as a result...it never fails.

I think IBM is more innovative than a lot of tech companies.
They put out an impressive number of patents every year.

IBM profit rises 11 percent but shares drop - Yahoo! News

By Philipp Gollner

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - IBM's (NYSE:IBM - news) quarterly profit rose 11 percent, but its shares fell 5 percent as the earnings failed to beat some investors' forecasts and computer hardware sales lagged some targets.

the above Reuters feed, and I believe AP as well, are worthless. The stock fell back .5%, not 5%. You would think they would do their homework on something as big as that.

Actually, the stock tanked in after-hours trading.

Just saw that ... apparently back up a percent this morning. Profit takers, no doubt.

Apple did even better financially and they tanked even deeper - same cause, I assume.