Posted on 01/18/2007 2:21:14 PM PST by 60Gunner
Please note that I realize that not everyone's parents were ideal. I know mine made mistakes. But for all their flaws, they really did okay, IMO. But if the situation allows, it's a great thing we can do for them.
You are on. Thanks!
Now I'm going to finish reading this story.
You are on the list. Thanks for your encouragement!
This could so easily happen to my dad (knock on wood). It's why my sister moved him up to Wisconsin, near her... his caregiver was never around and was ripping him off (he lived in a Chicago suburb).
Thank you for this post.
You are most welcome. Thank you for sharing your story!
As far as placement in a nursing home is concerned, I don't know that it would have been to her benefit, considering how independent she was. Either way, that's a very difficult choice to make.
Your posts really contribute to FR. :)
Did this lady die?
Anyway.... on the topic of independence. Our dad was a lawyer but everything changed when he got bacterial meningitis. That week, I flew out to Chicago on an emergency when the nurse told me, "Your father is blue." We thought he would die. Instead, he was in basically a coma for a few weeks.
In any case... the oxygen deprivation to his brain left him a very different person. And now, he's deteriorating.
It's very sad. The other day, I mentioned to my sister, "Dad doesn't call me anymore" (he used to call me every day, and I would call him). So she said, "Dad, call Julie", and he said, "Julie who?"
Anyway... I call but when he doesn't answer I don't know if it's b/c he can't hear the phone or if he's slipped and fallen. He doesn't want to go into a home (though we're working on it), and doctors have said he's not technically incompetent so we can't make him do it. Anyway, if we were to apply for guardianship, it would devastate him. He's still a lawyer and he knows what that means. He still communicates with his lawyer friends (or, they communicate with him, I should say). He just watches t.v.--Matlock. :)
Anyway... this was a long-winded reply, but you may have saved a life by posting this story about the elderly woman. You never know! :)
So is my father--pls see the previous post. I have to get to work shortly... but I think 60Gunner's post is food for thought on how society treats people after they're no longer productive citizens. In some cultures, the elderly are revered for their wisdom and live with their families. We tend to move them away somewhere where we don't have to deal with / see aging and death.
And I'm not trying to be critical. My dad visited for a week and it was very hard, for tons of reasons, particularly emotional ones. I'm not sure I could take it if he lived with us. In today's world there are so many pressures, and caring for aging parents on top of kids... it's overwhelming. I know it's been very hard for my sister (she lives closer to my dad and has born the brunt of all this). (Okay I'm rambling... I need some coffee, LOL)
He lives alone, doesn't drive anymore but has a housekeeper and meals on wheels for supplements.
Truth is, there are various Senior Citizen housing options available, that he is too stubborn to take advantage of. He wouldn't be as lonely with friends his own age to socialize with.
Assisted living apartments offer the Senior Citizen a chance to be checked on daily, interact with people and live independently. Services such as hot meals and transportation are usually offered as an alternative if desired.
The problem is convincing a parent to move from the old house.
sw
Being an EMS, you see the absolute worse outcome of possible neglect situations. You don't necessarily see all the situations that are averted every day by caring people. You're doing a job not many people can do, thank you and God bless you for that.
Megadittos!
Thanks for posting, Gunner.
I had friends who wound up in "family therapy" because a son was on drugs. After a few sessions of hearing what a horrible parent he had been the father said, "I haven't been a perfect father but I've put more effort into it than you have put into being a good son, so don't call me again until you don't want something."
Another father I knew said that when his kids were growing up and he was putting in 16 to 20 hour work days, all his kids thought about was what kind of high dollar cars they wanted. After they were grown they griped about how he was never there when they were growing up -- but didn't care where he was when they were growing up.
Oh! the trials and tribulations of being parent and/or child. LOL!
I was lucky when it came to parents but I didn't appreciate how good they were until I was grown. I guess that's "normal."
Hi, folks. I've been embarking on a quest of becoming spiritually-fit. I've been into a book called The Power of Now. I highly recommend it. It has encouraged me to love without judgment; to not get into my egoic mind, where pain lives; and to stay out of the future (where there is anxiety) and the past (where there is remorse). I try to stay only in the timeless Now, where there is Joy.
A question to ask yourself is this: "What, this very moment, is lacking?"
I've had people criticize me here and elsewhere for this new path I am on, and that's okay. 1st, their opinion is none of my business. 2nd, their comments show their own level of spiritual fitness. And 3rd, I don't really get to judge where they are, because they are Perfect Expressions of G-d and are just where they are supposed to be.
Ah. Good for you!
I was wondering where you went. Your posts surely reflect a change. Don't worry, Be Happy.
I thank you. Everything looks differently to me.
Everything.
I tried to do just that, but Brigette Bardot's attorneys slapped me with a Cease and Desist.....
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