Casual sex is a con: women just aren't like men

Sunday Tines ^ | 14 January 2007 | Dawn Eden

[shrinkermd]

The Sixties generation thought everything should be free. But only a few decades later the hippies were selling water at rock festivals for $5 a bottle. But for me the price of “free love” was even higher.

I sacrificed what should have been the best years of my life for the black lie of free love. All the sex I ever had — and I had more than my fair share — far from bringing me the lasting relationship I sought, only made marriage a more distant prospect...

And I am not alone. Count me among the dissatisfied daughters of the sexual revolution, a new counterculture of women who are realising that casual sex is a con and are choosing to remain chaste instead.

I am 37, and like millions of other girls, was born into a world which encouraged young women to explore their sexuality. It was almost presented to us as a feminist act. In the 1960s the future Cosmopolitan editor Helen Gurley Brown famously asked: Can a woman have sex like a man? Yes, she answered because “like a man, [a woman] is a sexual creature”. Her insight launched a million “100 new sex tricks” features in women’s magazines. And then that sex-loving feminist icon Germaine Greer enthused that “groupies are important because they demystify sex; they accept it as physical, and they aren’t possessive about their conquests”.

[Fairview]

Thank you; excellent point.

[Alkhin]

Actually, it is intrinsically evil. Its sole purpose is to prevent the proper operation of the human body (the reproductive system). It's simply a poison.

With all due respect, sir (or madam, as the case may be) - I had to take the birth control pill for a year after my daughters death to prevent pregnancy because of the circumstances under which she was born : placenta abruptus, which led to an emergency C-section 2 months before due date, which immediately led to the discovery that the placenta had grown INTO the wall of my uterus and ripping it to shreds when it abrupted. Imagine a tree being pulled up with roots and all. I hemorraged for a month while trying to allow for natural healing, finally had to go in for a D&C to clean out all the detritus...which meant that the doctor was adamant that I not become pregnant again for at least a year. This was a safety precaution. When that year was up, I dropped off the pill, largely because I didnt like what the hormones were doing to me. But there ARE good justifications for the use of the pill.

[crghill]

The statement is equivalent to stating the principle of conservation of energy. All the evidence to date supports the principle of conservation of energy. In order to disprove that, one must give evidence that energy is not conserved in some process.

What is behind the conservation of energy? What accounts for it's conservation? How do you know that you know that energy is conserved (that's not a typo by the way)?

If something can not be observed, there is no evidence to believe it exists. W/o evidence there is no rational reason to believe it exists. Things are objective/absolute when they can be observed.

Can the laws of logic be observed? Are the laws of logic material? Do the laws of logic exist?

The purpose of a moral code is to protect rights. A moral code is a set of rules that protects the rights of individuals. A valid moral code protects the rights of all individuals equally and is independent of authorship. Rights are a claim to those things which identify the particulars of the essence of a sentient rational being, which when violated, destroy the essence of the being. They also include claims of property required to sustain that essence of being. Rights are claims to one's own life, soveignty of will and property

1. Says who?
2. Can you give me an example of an moral absolute?

[Mrs. Don-o]

Looks like she had about 10 years of promiscuity: 23 to 33. And then she started getting right with God and being chaste about 3 - 4 years ago. Yes, I do think age can have something to do with it: she probably thought at 23 that if she used sex as a getting-to-know-you introductory offer, by this time she'd certainly find a good man who loved her; and it didn't work out. That hurts at 37 when you realize you no longer have your youthful sparkle and bounce, and the arrow on your fertility gauge is inching toward empty.

I myself had a sins-of-youth period that lasted about 3 years (late teens, early 20's) followed by years, years, of loneliness, doubt, confusion, and struggle.

So I can identify with what Dawn is saying. Except that she is probably hurting even more, because she was in rock-music NYC milieu for all these years, fell a lot farther and was bruised a lot more.

But I was supremely gifted by God to find a good husband: chaste but rapid courtship, happy marriage at just the age Dawn is now. And two kids. And 18 years of faith, trust, mutual gratitude and blessing. Love. Man, there's nothing like it.

So God bless her! I think her honesty, intelligence, vulnerability and courageous heart are attractive (and she's still pretty easy on the eyes.) I bet there's a man out there somewhere who's thinking: "YES-S-S! She's the one!" Dear God, please give that guy a push.

[Mrs. Don-o]

Depends. You're only fully responsible for what you know is wrong. God knows your heart, and He's the judge: I'm not.
I don't know hearts: not even, sometimes, my own.

[Mrs. Don-o]

For your elucidation and that of others, let me review the conditions for mortal sin (the kind that really kills your conscience and, thus, your soul): (1) It has to be seriously wrong. (2) You have to know it's seriously wrong. (3) With adequate knowledge and freedom, you have to make a conscious decision to do it anyway.

Doing things that damage your ability to connect and form a stable attachment with someone else sexually -- that's serious damage. It's like taking a GPS device and smacking it a couple of times with a hammer: it may lose its proper directionality, which is outward, toward self-giving love. If you knew that, and you did it anyway, it actually could be spiritually serious.

[Lancey Howard]

Thank you for your kind reply.

[Mrs. Don-o]

"We heard our grandson was a "chaos lamb" in the Christmas pageant. That was his sister's description of his thespian efforts, age 1+."

O Lordy, I can just see it! Thanks for making me laugh.

How blessed you are to have 37 years of trust and cherishing love with your dear wife, and the pride and joy of your kids and grandkids.

[Melas]

I believe the underlying thesis was that there are more women than men who are intent on saving themselves for marriage in our culture at this particular point in time.

Now I'm not vouching for veracity of the thesis, I'm just explaining it to you. If LWalk18 is correct, and there is a sizeable discrepency, then you have no point. If on the other hand, parity exists, then LWalk18 is wrong. It's pretty much that simple. For the record, I'd guess (so take it for what it's worth) that LW is correct, and girls saving it far outnumber boys.

[HitmanLV]

I'm with Melas.

[Mrs. Don-o]

"Why do people who are clearly mentally ill gather such large readerships?"

I often wonder that about Dr. Ruth.

[Melas]

Ok, I'll bite. What was it about fabric blends that made them dangerous? Your response to Vlad seems to maybe cover bacon, and oysters, but in the end it amounts for nothing unless it nails all three.

[Mrs. Don-o]

Dawn Eden accepts that she was wrong-headed in a wrong-headedness-sponsoring milieu. She's pretty clear about that. Anyone who thinks the NYC rock scene or the USA mass media culture is a virtue-sponsoring milieu, hasn't been paying attention.

[Mrs. Don-o]

"all masturbation does is make you postpone the need to get a spouse, to start having kids with."

Masturbation also trains you in self-gratification rather than self-donation. It makes real, responsive, spouse-centered sexual love difficult. It builds up habits and attitudes which sabotage intimacy in marriage.

[JenB]

*Shrug* you could be right. But then when I was looking I wasn't automatically biased against anyone who hadn't managed to wait. I was willing to consider someone who had learned from serious mistakes and was trying to do better. I think a lot of young people who desire purity have a similar attitude.

In this day and age... you can be responsible for your behavorior and no one else's. Trying to control anything else is hopeless. It's up to each individual how much past they can forgive and live with in a mate. For some, that's a lot higher than for others. All I could worry about when I was single was my behavior and what I'd bring to the table.

There were plenty of times when it seemed that no one was "saving it" except me. But that wouldn't have excused me acting against my conscience.

[AFreeBird]

I hear you on the penicillin reference. It's amazing that some of these parents who thought they were so clever with their kids names, ever survived their kids teenage years (literally).

I mean I'd be awful tempted to at least smack someone silly for saddling me with such a name for the rest of my life.

[Mrs. Don-o]

Morally offended by premarital kissing?

You're reading stuff into her writing that isn't there. The fact that you're quoting garbled fragments served up from a site that really hates her guts --- the Gawker ----and taking that as the unvarnished truth, shows that you're not trying to get a fair and careful take on the author in her own context and in her own words.

Your loss. Her own words are sensible, insightful, and worth an honest read.

[Texas Federalist]

Stopped from doing what?

Just a joke. She is trying to convince women to remain chaste.

[Ouderkirk]

Madam, I do not need you to elucidate me on the nature of mortal sins. My comments to Hunter112 were more of the nature of pure philosophy and ones ability to come to terms with faith and catholicism.

[Alkhin]

With all due respect, sir (or madam, as the case may be) - I had to take the birth control pill for a year after my daughters death to prevent pregnancy because of the circumstances under which she was born : placenta abruptus, which led to an emergency C-section 2 months before due date... I SHOULD say - "After my daughter's BIRTH!"

pervwiew is my fiedn