I appreciate the comments. Unfortunately, because of health problems, it's nearly impossible to meet people even by accident, so the "not looking" because no one is there is part of the problem. I am about as far afield from being happy without someone as morality and ethics are from the Clintons. Some laugh at the claim you can't die from a broken heart, I don't. Not in the least.
You can grieve yourself to death, my Dad nearly did.
He found love again at 64 after my Mom, his wife of 42 years died.