Collateral damage, even justified, can be very high, especially when jihadists' strategy seems to be obliterating the difference between civilians and military, and hiding behind human shields on a grand scale. Still, there is a difference between unavoidable collateral deaths, and murder.
I agree, and the things that we may or may not do in a 'war' will probably change as our proximity to the violence changes.
You really don't understand the difference between war and civil justice do you?