Posted on 12/18/2006 11:41:16 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
A long time ago I read a short online piece about how women could get their men to put the toilet seat down. Inherent in it was the idea that this was an example of men's lack of consideration and that the task at hand was one of disciplining these bad boys. I don't know, my attitude is that if women can leave a toilet seat down, men can leave it up.
Of course, this is just a silly, pebble-in-the-shoe issue, but I see it as a metaphor for a modern phenomenon: The casting of women's characteristic behaviors as the norm and men's as dysfunctional deviations.
This is strikingly obvious with the topic of communication. Man has long known that women were the more loquacious sex, and you've probably heard of studies to this effect. A recent book states that women have about 20,000 "communication events" (I love these terms the psycho-babblers conjure up) a day, versus about 7,000 for men. But this is nothing new; who didn't know a bevy of garrulous girls in school?
What is new is the assumption that this imputes superiority to women. "Communication" has become one of the buzzwords of modern psychology. And, whenever relationships are at issue -- be it in a book, article, talk or interview -- almost invariably an "expert" will inform us of two things. One is that women communicate more than men. The other is that an onus belongs on men as this "handicap" of theirs is an impediment to good relations. Why, men need to learn to communicate more and share their feelings, we're told.
Did anyone ever think that maybe women communicate too darn much?
Don't get me wrong, rhetorical license aside, I understand the importance of communication. What bothers me, though, is the knee-jerk assumption here that more is better, a conclusion that most of the same researchers take great pains to forestall when the issue is, oh, let's say, the greater size of the male brain. But this is a principle of sex differences research: When men have more, more is less. When women have less, less is more.
And that's it, more or less.
What seems to escape most is that this modern exaltation of the lip lies in stark contrast to what wisdom has taught since time immemorial. And the truth she imparts is obvious, which is why sayings encapsulating it abound: "Still waters run deep," "Empty kettles make the most noise," "Shallow brooks are noisy" and "There are two kinds of people who don't say much, those who are quiet and those who talk a lot."
It's why movies have always portrayed the strong, silent type who exhibits quiet fortitude as the most heroic of men. It's why good writers value verbosity no more than good surgeons do bloodletting. Delicate operations warrant use of a fine scalpel, something small and sharp that punctures precisely -- and cuts when necessary -- not an implement bigger and blunter. And this is true whether you wish to get at the heart of a man or the heart of a matter: a precise surgical approach is usually preferable. Big, blunt things are better suited to bludgeoning.
To be quite blunt myself, yes, I subscribe to the traditional idea that women are chatterboxes and it's not their best trait. Don't get me wrong, we men have our faults as well. For instance, I absolutely cannot stand my brothers' habit of channel-surfing, which I guess could be characterized as Chatting Finger Syndrome. But here's the difference. Whether it's this masculine foible or another, no one does intellectual contortions to cast it as a positive attribute. At best it's seen as cute quirkiness, at worst as a defect of manliness.
Now, just imagine how it might be if incessant channel-surfing were a characteristic female behavior. It would only be a matter of time before some sickologists conducted a study and portrayed it as yet another example of feminine superiority. It would go something like this:
Channel-surfing is akin to speed-reading, not a function of a fault but indicative of a unique ability. Because women have more neural connections between the two hemispheres of the brain, they can process information faster, allowing them to absorb the substance and assess the value of a given program in mere seconds. Thus, while a man may perceive just a brief snapshot of seemingly unintelligible imagery and sound, his wife has already assimilated the program's relevant information or ascertained it to be devoid of such. "She is anxious to read the next page while he is still on the first paragraph of the last," said Dr. Delilah Emasculata of the Sex Differences Research and Proof That Women Are Better in Every Way So Just Shut-up and Take It Institute.
The truth is that both men and women should understand their sex's characteristic frailties and, just as with any negative proclivity, seek to tame them. Hey, I always ask directions and I'm great at matching colors.
As for communication, I have some of the best advice you gals will ever hear. If you have something important to say, don't embed it in an interminable stream-of-consciousness monologue between words 1129 and 1145 and expect the man in your life to absorb it. It's not that he doesn't care. He has his sanity to think about, you know.
My mother used to teach us that "Speech is silver, silence is golden." I wouldn't expect anyone to learn much while channel-surfing in fully automatic mode. Tongue-surfing isn't much better.
Loquacity doesn't denote sagacity.
Oh, and the toilet seat? I just don't want to talk about it.
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Note -- The opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions, views, and/or philosophy of GOPUSA.
Sheesh, if that is enough to get cut off for six months there is a man that will never have kids.
heh.
W: You need to put the seat down.
M: Why, you got somethin' to hide?
"Let me tell you what's logical.
You men act as if all you ever do is urinate.
What do you do when you defecate?
I HOPE you sit down.
Thus, if you divide people's functions into categories of 1)female urine 2)female defec 3)male urine 4)male defec
You'll see that definitely 3/4 of those categories require SEAT DOWN. You men apparently need it down some of the time.
It is also arguable that it's more practical to ALWAYS sit than stand. At least in a civilized bathroom. Outdoors camping, do what you want.
Also, seat-up we ALL get to see all the disgusting results of your activity. As I said elsewhere, standing produces alot of nasty mess all over the place.
As far as LOOKS, I don't really care much. I'm all for everyone always putting down the entire set, most importantly the "cover"."
Was this thread about toilet seats, or talking too much?
No the real issue is that the woman doesn't have to beg her husband for sex.
Easiest way to keep a dog from drinking out of the toilet: get a dachshund!
Works for us!
This wasn't at Fort Benning, was it? If so, it's the descendents of the ones I once saw...
I got in trouble at work once when I posted a sign in the Ladies' Room that said, "If you're going to stand up to pee, put the seat up like a man!"
LMFAO!!!
Good for you, I see it as being polite. I think well-mannered gentlemen (the kind that open doors for ladies and such) can take the little step of putting the seat and lid down when they are done with their business. No idea why the women don't, I surely do when I'm finished. I can't stand leaving the lid up... After all the "we'll pee on the seat" comments, yours is refreshing. Thanks.
Keep the toilet seat down and just piss in the sink.
Dunny lid down, mate. Them snikes like to come up the drines.
Too much information.
:-)
I can't believe that this thread has gotten over 150 replies...
How does being physical work over the phone? I can talk to a buddy, giving or receiving information, and it takes about 10~15 seconds. When the same subject with my girlfriend takes about 5 minutes.
It gets mind numbing sometimes all the prattle us guys have to put up with just to get a simple answer to a simple question.
So what's the problem with the dog drinking out of the toilet? If you flush the toilet before they do, they're getting clean water. Or do they slop water on the floor?
She is referring to the relative circumference of the bowl, which is wider (and a lot colder) than the seat, and the female butt, which, at least when marriage is young, is generally smaller than the man's and therefore will slip down into the bowl if she tries to just sit down in the dark and the seat has been left up.
Someone else on here suggested turning on the light. If you are not a heavy sleeper, this would be enough to disrupt your ability to get back to sleep at all, and combined with the shock of the cold bowl rim and/or cold water, is a most unpleasant experience in the middle of the night.
I don't have a problem with it. I just posted a picture of it.
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