Posted on 12/18/2006 6:44:16 AM PST by shrinkermd
I was reading the Washington Times, watching Law & Order and knitting. My husband said "I wish you could just relax".
"Relax? This is as good as it gets, doing all the things I like best at once". I finally figured out there is so much I still want to do and time is growing shorter. Guess I'm trying to live 3 lifetimes in one. Don't know how I managed before I retired!
This is the Oprah effect.
Any behavioural problem is a result of some deep pyschologic disturbance that is not the fault of the person itself but which needs to be corrected through counselling and drugs rather than addressing the behaviourial problem. Thats the Liberal method of parenting.
Funny, ADD is not even a issue or even known in many Asian countries. Perhaps they raise their Kids in a disciplined environment something many American parents simply dont do?
Maybe some minority of ADD patients do have neurological problems but one suspects a majority of ADD cases are simply due to lack of discipline in their homes.
No seams-no tags. My husband thinks it's hysterically funny that I wear my underwear inside out. I think it's very common in more folks than will admit it. And the wall thing-I am worse than a 2 year old about touching things! Rocking or swinging is also very soothing. I've learned to control it- somewhat. I have a sister that's the same way. It seems to manifest itself in females more this way than the rage. It's a type of sensory overload, again very close to autism. A LOT of people on my Dad's side of the family are like this. I work in a greenhouse so I get plenty of tactile from touching the plants. As far as wearing gloves when I work in the dirt, can't stand it. I have to feel the soil.
Thanks for your concern about the service. Their loss. I can't understand why they'll take a kid that's done every illegal drug known to man, but they won't take one you were practically forced into giving a child because you were trying to help.
What really drives them crazy is when you can do all that and still follow a conversation in another room! LOL
bump
I realize that there are those who cannot function without medication of some sort; but I believe there are a great many that can function well, though not perfectly, without it.
My son does fine now. No medication, and even when he was on it, it wasn't for long. The meds allowed him to focus and do his schoolwork but they made him so depressed. He's normally a happy go lucky kid, and is now. He wasn't just ADD, he was ADHD. Unable to sit still. You have no idea unless you've been there-terribly destructive-unintentionally. No idea of his size and strength in relation to other people and objects around himself.
My youngest son was also in special ed. He was very frustrating in that he could be getting report cards with A in one subject and F in another. He admitted "bumming" some Ritalin from a school mate one day. That was the reason for the perfect result on the math test. Boys with ADD and no medication are strongly attracted to video games as a replacement for the inadequate internal stimulation. Older males tend to substitute watching sports on TV as a similar form of compensation. John Gray has a very logical explanation for this in his book, "Mars and Venus Diet and Exercise Solution". It's a pretty interesting slant on male/female physiology and the behavioral consequences.
My #2 son and I are alike. We are very focused on what we want to accomplish. Neither of us gives a rat's ass about video games or sports. A clear objective and a hard deadline is what we like best.
"We had a dimestore parakeet that repeated endlessly-Close the frig-close the door-and then he screamed my son's name in the exact tone I used."
LOL!
If we had a bird I'm sure it would have developed the same skill!
We thought our son was bullheaded stubborn (and he is) and ignoring us. Hearing tests showed his ears are good, but his brain is not processing language the way it should.
Give him a verbal command and you never know what his response should be.
Give him a visual aid of what you want - and he responds very well to that.
btt
Good luck getting your kids situation figured out. We used meds as a last resort. Like I said, only 25% of my offspring have ADHD, so I can't really figure out how bad parenting comes into play there. She was my first, too, the one who got the most direct 1 on 1 attention, and still demands the most attention because of behavior difficulties.
Good luck! feel free to keep me posted with your kids progress.
Dealing with these type of kids can be frustrating, sounds like you are doing it right! keep up the good work!
Here is another coincidence. Boys are typically the ones diagnosed with ADD. Schools have gotten rid of activities like band and sports and all activities that don't mean you sit at a desk for 7 hours at the very same time that ADD rates started to skyrocket.
What a coincidence. We also in many suburbs and cities, stopped letting kids play outside. No more football games in the middle of the street because it's too unsafe. All those activities that boys used to do at school and in the neighborhood that would let them burn energy are falling by the way side... and ADD rates are high. I bet just gettting the kids out of the classroom occassionally, letting them do sports, feeding them decent food will fix most of the problems along with proper parenting.
There are kids who do need medication, but I bet the number is less than 1/4 of those who are being given meds.
Another bingo! How many adults could ride a bus for two hours every day, then be expected to sit still for seven hours and not explode from sheer boredom? People are not meant to sit still, esp little boys.
My kids have always been able to play rough and ready outside because we live in a rural area, hence the long bus ride. A bigger part of the problem with ADD kids is that most of them have no direct line between cause and effect, less so than normal kids. There's no correlation between if i spill gas all over the garage floor and drop a lit match, it's going to be a bad time. A great many of them seem almost immune to pain.
The meds aren't just to get them to sit still, they're to open the pathways of their brains a little more-kind of like clearing a path in the woods. You might know where something is in an overgrown forest, but you can't get to it.
That describes my oldest daughter, in part.
If I had a nickle for every time I've asked my oldest-why did you do that? LOL They truly have no idea what possessed them to do something that anyone else would realize is something straight out of Jackass.
Speaking of cause and effect, we truly have no idea what medications like Ritalin are going to do after 35 years of usage. The brain is growing during the period kids are continually on a mind altering substance. What is it doing to the brain long term. I am not a purist. Kids who really need drugs should get them. But considering we don't know what it's going to do long term, we should be sparing. We should let kids get excercise first, and behavior modification, and a whole bunch of other things FIRST, THEN do the drugs.
Perhaps we need recess back. Perhaps these parents should get their kids into sports. First. Drug first, ask all the other questions later is bad medicine.
Dyslexia?
I grew up on a farm and meds were unheard of. My son was only on ritalin for a short while. It seems that for milder cases, age and learning to cope works wonders. Some kids never learn to cope and they don't seem to outgrow it. So sad. They're the people that would have ended up in insane asylums in years gone by.
I agree completely-medicate as needed. But how to tell? The sheer energy these kids possess is mind boggling. If only it could be harnessed! Recess definitely needs to be re-instated.
Sports is a whole nother category! You can spot the ADD kids a mile away. They're the ones standing on their heads and digging holes while the game passes them by!
For the adults out there, if you know someone on the meds and they are wired all of the time the answer is that they are on the wrong meds.
It is critical to work with experts on this. That means NOT working with school doctors, but real neuro-psychologists who specialize in this stuff. A real work up will take several visits; medical testing, evaluations from different experts, and follow ups to verify that the meds are correct.
If you have been to a general psychologist and then passed off to an MD for meds...think about spending the money to get a full work up. The information that you will get to help you cope with or without meds is worth every nickel.
It saved my life, and that of my daughter. My personal story is not important--but educate yourself and understand the diagnosis before you get medicated...and before you go off half-cocked and say stupid things about it.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.