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To: beachn4fun

Well, then...

Thanks to everyone for such a warm welcome!!! I am very excited today because I work for a high school and today is the last fay before Christmas break. I get the next three weeks off, which I am thrilled for. I have a cold and a broken wrist, so I am especially happy that it is a short day. Dh leaves for Iraq in February, so he took leave, so between that and his Christmas days, we will have almost the whole three weeks together (with the kiddos of course)!!

I have a great funny to post...let me just locate it. Hope everyone's day is going great.


16 posted on 12/15/2006 6:52:37 AM PST by USMCWife6869
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To: USMCWife6869

This means you and dear husband.

What a blessing that you'll all be able to spend that time together before deployment.

17 posted on 12/15/2006 6:57:02 AM PST by beachn4fun (Don't forget the deployed troops during the Holidays.)
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To: USMCWife6869

Welcome aboard!


18 posted on 12/15/2006 6:57:19 AM PST by The Mayor ( http://albanysinsanity.com/)
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To: USMCWife6869

I found it!! Because we have three daughters, one of whom is sixteen years old, the following is hanging prominently from my refrigerator:

RULES FOR DATING A MARINE'S DAUGHTER


1. If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
2. Remove your hat when entering my humble abode. I may think you have something terrible under it and will do my best to exterminate it quickly, efficiently, and fatally.
3. You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
4. I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
5. I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
6. In order for us to get to know each other, you may feel as though we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
7. I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
8. As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
9. The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:
* Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.
* Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.
* Places where there is darkness.
* Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.
* Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.
* Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay.
* Hockey games are okay.
* Old folks homes are better.
10. Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
11. Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Chu Lai. When my Agent Orange or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car. There is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.


19 posted on 12/15/2006 6:57:40 AM PST by USMCWife6869
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To: USMCWife6869

May God bless you both and your family ..I am so glad you both have this time off... I am so very grateful to your husband for his service to our country.


22 posted on 12/15/2006 7:16:22 AM PST by MEG33 (GOD BLESS OUR ARMED FORCES.)
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To: USMCWife6869
Welcome to The Finest. A big thanks to your husband for his service in the military plus for the sacrifices you and your family have to make when he's away.

Hope you'll be feeling better by Christmas Day.

34 posted on 12/15/2006 8:28:53 AM PST by Aquamarine
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