I'm not a pastor, but for me the answer is both, but more the latter. If I had the "opportunity" to be unfaithful with 100% confidence that my wife would never find out (and thus would never be "wounded") I would still say no because I would know that it is wrong and would hurt my relationship with God even more than it would my relationship with my wife. At the same time, the thought of causing that kind of pain to her through the betrayal also keeps me from entertaining those "opportunities" when they arise.
honest answer. thank you. it helps women like me more than you know when you guys are authentic and truthful about your struggles. women need to know (especially Christian women) that men are wanting to fight the good fight of purity, and are aware of the devastating impact on our sense of dignity and value when men lose the battle.
by the way -- side note -- us women shut men down when we're controlling and unsupportive. so it works both ways, i believe.