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Sure ... let terrorists establish peace
http://www.torontosun.com/News/Columnists/Marsden_Rachel/2006/12/10/pf-2719781.html ^ | Rachel Marsden

Posted on 12/10/2006 8:52:56 AM PST by exg

Sure ... let terrorists establish peace By RACHEL MARSDEN

NEW YORK — I’m not sure why I thought this week’s bipartisan Iraq Study Group report might actually offer some constructive suggestions about speeding up the stabilization of Iraq.

The term “study group” evokes the image of a bunch of guys sitting around at the University of Starbucks between late night pizza binges, jockeying to out-nuance each other and serving up various pie-in-the-sky theories.

After months of “studying,” their message is basically this: We really have no great new ideas or suggestions for Iraq, except to put more power into the hands of some Islamic nutcases.

Whoops, sounds like someone crammed.

While not advocating for an immediate exit, the panel wants American combat troops out of the country by 2008. Now that they have a better idea of when the infidels will be clearing out, I’m sure the jihadists in Iraq will be grateful for the heads-up so they’ll be able to plan a little time with the relatives in Europe, or maybe apply for one of those student-terrorist diversity placements at Yale. One of the study group’s members commented the “U.S. isn’t winning or losing in Iraq,” thereby demonstrating a breathtaking level of nuance that could only emanate from the over inflated windbag of a true academic — or from an orifice belonging to Sen. John Kerry.

This same individual also commented that “all options are on the table,” as though he’s talking about the buffet at his local Red Lobster, when I would think his job was to recommend a few decent dishes.

Unfortunately, both of these brain droppings fell from the mouth of Bob Gates — Bush’s new nominee for Defence Secretary. Not surprisingly, he seems to be one of the few Republican appointees whom the liberal Democrats like.

The panel recommends America place Mideast peace in the hands of Iran and Syria — the same Syria that has been cited for severe human rights abuses and provides cash and cover to terrorist groups like Hezbollah and Hamas.

Iran’s president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has apparently been busy banning Iranians’ access to online YouTube videos featuring things like frat boys lighting their farts on fire. That’s when he’s not focused on promoting his upcoming conference focusing on whether the Holocaust really happened. (Might I suggest extending an invite to every anti-American’s favourite author and academic, Noam Chomsky, who was once quoted in Australia’s Quadrant Magazine as saying, “I see no anti-Semitic implications in denial of the existence of gas chambers or even denial of the Holocaust.”) But hey, whatever distracts Mahmoud from fiddling with those nukes.

So let me get this straight. These two clowns — whose countries represent two of the biggest supporters of terrorism — are the great hope for winning the war on terror? That’s the best a panel with a collective IQ supposedly above that of a zucchini could come up with?

Send a ‘Chamberlain’

I have a better idea. It’s one that will likely achieve the same result, but save a lot of time, money, and pretense: Why don’t we cast someone as America’s Neville Chamberlain, and send him over to the Mideast to present Ahmadinejad with a new “peace treaty” like the UK did with Hitler back in happier times? He can declare peace on Earth upon arrival, call it a day, and get home in time for Monday Night Football.

If this report really is the grand plan that emerges as a result of supposedly intelligent adults “studying,” then maybe it should be left to the kids.


TOPICS: Foreign Affairs; War on Terror
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 12/10/2006 8:52:57 AM PST by exg
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To: exg
Soon we'll read that only a woman [Mrs. Clinton] is the only hope for peace, due to compassionate, nurturing nature.
2 posted on 12/10/2006 8:59:24 AM PST by 100-Fold_Return (I'll Never Be Broke Another Day in My Life!)
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To: exg

Nothing gets done by committee....especially with politicians. Secondly, I agree that we could send someone to Iran with a message. I would, however, change your message to some degree. "We declare peace in the world.............unless you screw up and then peace would be permanent in your region of the world.........POOF."


3 posted on 12/10/2006 9:00:36 AM PST by Ron2
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To: exg

The double boxed set of the ISG's "report" and the 9-11 Commission's "report" taped to a six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon makes a great gag gift for office Christmas parties.


4 posted on 12/10/2006 9:02:10 AM PST by FlingWingFlyer (I've discontinued the use of the term "Americans." The species has gone almost entirely extinct.)
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To: 100-Fold_Return

Obama is the only hope for peace, due to his Islamic nature.


5 posted on 12/10/2006 9:04:33 AM PST by mhx
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To: exg
a bunch of guys sitting around at the University of Starbucks between late night pizza binges, jockeying to out-nuance each other and serving up various pie-in-the-sky theories.

I bet she is closer to the truth than she would believe with her sarcastic description.

The exception to this description would be that these turkeys had their pizzas and cappuccinos delivered to their plush offices and meeting rooms by highly paid government pay rolled aids.

6 posted on 12/10/2006 9:07:50 AM PST by Pontiac (All are worthy of freedom, none are incapable.)
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To: mhx

LOL!


7 posted on 12/10/2006 9:11:24 AM PST by 100-Fold_Return (I'll Never Be Broke Another Day in My Life!)
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To: exg

Ouch! Great find!


8 posted on 12/10/2006 9:29:42 AM PST by cake_crumb (When "bipartisan study groups" try to prosecute wars, you get Viet Nam)
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To: mhx
Obama is the only hope for peace, due to his Islamic nature.

What: Obama is a Muslim?

9 posted on 12/10/2006 9:45:35 AM PST by Popman ("What I was doing wasn't living, it was dying. I really think God had better plans for me.")
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To: exg

lol i know- Here we are, the worlds greatest democracy, and the biggest advocates of peace, over htere doing our job, and all of a sudden the world thinks that terrorists would do a much better job? It's a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world! http://sacredscoop.com


10 posted on 12/10/2006 9:46:28 AM PST by CottShop
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To: cake_crumb

Thanks.


11 posted on 12/10/2006 10:40:01 AM PST by exg
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