Posted on 11/28/2006 10:11:14 AM PST by steve-b
No, no, sorry. I don't have any . . ."
Why does this always seem to be the first thing I'm asked? It takes my breath away, yet why do I feel the need to apologize for my reply? Looking vague and embarrassed, my questioner glances over my shoulder for someone else to talk to: someone with whom he or she has more in common, someone with children....
Just as some women talk of a visceral urge that propels them to have children, others speak of an equally visceral urge that propels them not to. Laurie, a transplanted southerner who teaches history in New York, began to realize at an early age that she didn't want children, as she watched wealthy mothers in Richmond hire other women to care for their children. "These people compelled to have trophy babies in certain socioeconomic echelons don't want to face the realities of raising a child." She is now infuriated by what she calls "that Mother Right" -- the assumption that everyone will make way for a woman with a stroller or a child in tow....
But almost all the women I've talked with describe feeling acutely aware of what they see as our national obsession with motherhood: "The Bump Watch" hounding Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Lopez; "Celebrity Babies" like the elusive Suri Cruise; and "The Ultimate Hollywood Accessory: A New Baby," popularized by Brangelina. Some use the term "child-free" to differentiate those who choose not to have children from those who had been unable to have them....
(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...
Good post. And absolutely correct.
Okay, sorry. I didn't know you meant from nuclear families.
Speaking of expensive, did you see the tread here from a Freeper Dad noting that it cost $170 to sign his kid up for little league? No wonder people don't have lots anymore.
And the days of pick up games in the back field are over, sad to say.
My favorite cousin did not have children. I know she also had breast cancer at 35, and I don't know if this affected her decision. She is a wonderful, very smart woman who runs her own company. We made different choices, but I respect her for her choices.
Not really. I presented here far nicer than I was. I had typecast her immediately, which was the reason I did not explain immediately when she asked.
I let her hang herself, which made my revenge sweeter. The other women there rushed to my rescue and continued their admonishment of her.
I don't buy Prada either. I don't believe in having children while paying off debts. A child is one big debt after another. I am a very holistically minded person and there are a lot of things that are made for children that are cheap that I'd never buy. If I can't afford the best, I rather not have any. If I change my mind, there are more than enough children to adopt.
>>>In case this isn't commone sense to everyone: If you meet someone thats been married a long time and discover they don't have children, either:
a) they don't want children and there's nothing you can do to change that so drop the subject. or
b) they can't have children and its probably a very touchy subject so you should drop it.>>>
Very very true. And I never push the issue, nor do I think badly of people who don't want children. My aunt and uncle decided they did not want kids (well, she decided and he just said "Ok".) Everyone said "Give it time". At the age of 45 she had a miscarriage and was devestated. After 20 odd years of birth control?
Oh well. Their choice. I am supermom. Haha. Working mother of three.
I think she was a liberal. All knowing, all seeing, very "holier than thou"
Yes exactly what I'm talking about...whatever happened to sandlot games that didn't cost anything? I left the city to live in the country because it would be cheaper to raise children here. Even so, it's still money because you have to compensate for the things that a smaller rural community doesn't have.
If only that were true, but you've seen how free some people feel to make holier-than-thou judgments about other people's decisions on whether to be parents or not, right here on this thread.
I was going to ping you, because I wonder where the author is spending her time among people whose first thought is to ask her if she has any children. Doesn't that set off your bs alarm?
I'm trying to think of any situation in which that would be an obvious question. The only one I've seen mentioned in the comments was a baby shower, but how many baby showers does the average person attend?
This article has reminded me that I need to do some Social Skills roleplaying with my offspring, so that they never find themselves with nothing to say besides, "What do you do?" or "Do you have any children?"!
There is only one woman that I think negatively of that doesn't have children. A male friend of ours got married to this woman. She doesn't want to work. She doesn't want to have kids. All she does is shop. She also doesn't want her husband doing anything with his friends after work. Talk about selfish. I can't stand her.
My cousin doesn't have kids, but if she lived near me I would have invited her to my baby showers.
Just because someone doesn't have kids doesn't mean everyone they know doesn't have kids.
Arrgh--I could rant on that forever! The amount of effort required to have some semblence of a 50's lifestyle is staggering. And I'm fortuate enough to have the money not to work and to pay little league fees.
A lot of the girls at work know I just got married. They're asking me my age first and then if I'm going to have kids. I happen to believe a healthy woman can have children later in life but here where I am, the ladies crank out the babies really early in life. I thought I'd want to have a lot but even walking around Walmart, I can see how having children can add up unless you take REALLY good care of handmedowns. Worst of all, Walmart doesn't sell cloth diapers and the artifical disposables are expensive.
That's a big problem IMO. If a kid plays sports it's in a league run by adults (although calling them grownups is a strech at times). If they play it's usually in a place built by adults. It seems that much of the imaginative life of kids is being cut out of kids lives by adults that are obsessed by doing "everything" for their kids.
Me, Mom turned me loose in the woods with a BB gun and expected me back for dinner if I wanted to eat.
That's true, but even if everyone you know does have kids, that doesn't mean you're invited to baby showers every week. Especially if you find the whole subject of children upsetting, as the author seems to, you also have the choice of mailing a baby gift, or simply declining an invitation, no further discussion.
I simply can't think of another situation where, "Do you have children?" is an obvious question to ask a stranger. Can you?
For the record...I was single on Long Island. Folks that I know who were married..did everything 'right' are working two jobs to keep a house,etc.etc. Country living is where it's at if you want to save money. It's just gravy if you can get a really good home based business that pays above the prevailing wage. That way, one doesn't have to shop for the family at Walmart :sigh: Enough land one can grow food and keep animals. The costs work out to be the same and it's more satisfying.
Interesting choice of words "anti-abortion" - nice use of standard leftist rhetoric.
Discussing the wide prevalence of abortion in this country on a thread about the wide prevalence of childlessness in this country is hardly a hijack.
If your answer has anything to do with a Judeo-Christian belief system
Why would it have to? Jews and Christians aren't the only people who believe murdering children is wrong.
you are breaking one of the Top Ten (#9 Thou shalt not bear false witness)by your ham-fisted attempt at insulting Linda2003.
What a strange claim.
First, your buddy is the one who insulted me by implying that I was a Nazi.
Second, I presume my supposed insult was to imply that your buddy supports the current regime of legal abortion in this country, but why she would consider that an insult is beyond me.
Oh, and all the bolded mock outrage is very cute.
Bravo.
Those were the good days. Kids lives are being micromanaged to their detriment.
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