I don't want to marry a man with no real career aspirations; I don't think that this is too much to ask for. The problem is that you assume that $80,000 - $100,000 for starters is a *bare minimum*.
And you are assuming that *both* you and your husband will *start* at that point and climb the ladder from there.
And that -- by your own admission -- you have no desire nor talent to turn your obligatory McMansion into a *home*.
Given the actual demands of the working world, if you have a job paying that much, you won't have the energy either.
You also assume that men in that income bracket will only be too happy to marry someone who intends to compete with them, when they can get just as much sexual satisfaction, with less friction, by avoiding marriage, or choosing a trophy wife.
Perhaps, if Walmart cashiers and McDonalds burger flippers are offended by someone saying something that is true (i.e. women find such men unattractive), then perhaps it hit a nerve.
Or perhaps it is the implicit assumption that anyone who does not agree with your relentless drive up the career ladder must be a semi-skilled loser.
That is childish and wishful thinking on your part.
I personally know multimillionaires on their second / third marriage. They have all the trappings--multiple houses in the tony parts of town, luxury SUV's, the right connections--but they do not describe themselves as "happy."
I don't want a child now... What I pointed out is that if I'm not married by my early thirties I might contemplate it. That's eight years away.. I'm applying to MBA programs right now and grad school and babies don't mix very well..
If grad school and babies don't mix -- MBA-level jobs and new babies don't mix either.
And by the time you are in your early thirties, you will be getting long in the tooth for men who can grab a fresh, easily wowed piece right out of college.
Again, I implore you to consider the possible long term consequences of your actions, and how you might be "cutting off your escape route" for things you don't think you want right now. Or at least to give more consideration to the concept that your glib toss-offs about how easy it will be in 8 or 10 years to get marrried or raise children *might* be inaccurate.
Cheers!
On the other hand, don't make the automatic assumption that an over-30 woman has no options. I married at 31, and at that point in my life had no trouble finding the man who was right for me. After twenty years, he is STILL the right man for me. If I had married in my early twenties, I would not be able to say the same thing. :)
"The problem is that you assume that $80,000 - $100,000 for starters is a *bare minimum*."
That's where I realistically expect to be after getting a top tier MBA... It's not what I expect my husband to be making. I think that there's nothing wrong with dating a nurse or a teacher who might make alot less than me... The things that I require from a potential mate is A. someone with a college degree (to show drive and actual compatibility) and B. someone who is using that degree in some profession (again... Isn't working at Starbucks). I think that these are both reasonable demands.
"And that -- by your own admission -- you have no desire nor talent to turn your obligatory McMansion into a *home*."
I'd never get a McMansion. I'd prefer a Brownstone or Condo in downtown Chicago... something with actual personality.
"You also assume that men in that income bracket will only be too happy to marry someone who intends to compete with them, when they can get just as much sexual satisfaction, with less friction, by avoiding marriage, or choosing a trophy wife."
I do. That's why I don't expect to get married, but I'd still like kids.
"Or perhaps it is the implicit assumption that anyone who does not agree with your relentless drive up the career ladder must be a semi-skilled loser."
No, people who have no desire to learn any sort of marketable skills are "semi-skilled losers." There's a difference between demanding that everyone be CEO and being okay with people willing to flip burgers for the rest of their lives.
"If grad school and babies don't mix -- MBA-level jobs and new babies don't mix either."
I know managers who work in MBA jobs and were able to negotiate "flexible" scheduling to stay home with their new babies. It depends on how valuable you are and what type of company you work for...
"And by the time you are in your early thirties, you will be getting long in the tooth for men who can grab a fresh, easily wowed piece right out of college."
Yep, the college bimbos... I know the drill.
"Again, I implore you to consider the possible long term consequences of your actions, and how you might be "cutting off your escape route" for things you don't think you want right now. Or at least to give more consideration to the concept that your glib toss-offs about how easy it will be in 8 or 10 years to get marrried or raise children *might* be inaccurate."
It's much easier to get married or have children in five/ eight years than it is to get a graduate degree in five/ eight years. It's near impossible for women with husbands and children to get MBAs, for there's still a stigma attached to men supporting women through graduate school. In fact, elite programs are desperate to attract talented women because of this reason..
Since I don't want to waste my talent on the entry level job I have now, I'm seriously pursuing my MBA. I'm even applying to programs a year earlier than most people as this will give me another year in my late twenties in which I can perhaps find a husband.