First Comes Junior In a Baby Carriage (4 in 10 Births by Single Moms)

MSNBC Newsweak ^ | 6 Dece,ber 2--6 | Debra Rosenberg and Pat Wingert

[shrinkermd]

....More American women than ever are putting motherhood before matrimony. New data released by the Centers for Disease Control show that nearly four in 10 U.S. babies were born outside of marriage in 2005—a new high. These unwed moms aren't all teens—last year teen pregnancies fell to their lowest levels in 65 years. Some—like 44-year-old Mary Lee MacKichan, who used a gay friend as a sperm donor—are professional, older women who want to have babies before their biological clocks run out, but most are low-income twentysomethings. (Unwed births among 30- to 44-year-olds are up 17 percent since 1991; among those 25 to 29, they're up 30 percent.) And some 40 percent of those moms aren't going it alone—they're cohabiting, at least for a while. That's creating a major shift in what a generation of children are coming to call a family. "Marriage is still alive and well, but it has a lot of competition," says Wellesley College sociologist Rosanna Hertz, author of "Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice."

Ironically, sociologists say, marriage may be on the decline precisely because it has become so idealized. People expect more from marriage than they did a century ago, when it was mainly a practical arrangement to provide financial stability for women and a place to raise children. "Now it's not only love and romance but also self-fulfillment and personal growth," says Pamela Smock, professor of sociology at the University of Michigan. Since there's no longer much of a stigma attached to getting pregnant outside of marriage, many couples have replaced "shotgun weddings" with "shotgun cohabitations

[Hand em their arse]

"Almost any man would have had sex with her and would have been safer than picking a gay man..."


SOME men MAY have had sex with her and MAY have been safer than picking a gay man... Let's not get crazy, there are quite a large number of straight men between the 25-39yr old age group whose main goal is to bang as many women as possible...

[Accygirl]

She used her friend as a sperm donor.. She didn't have sex with him; she likely got an in vitro procedure.

[mewzilla]

Well, what I was trying to suggest is that there's something else going on, something which doesn't remotely have anything to do with idealizing marriage.

It seems to me like partners who cohabitate are really saying that they don't have faith in themselves and/or their partners to get through hard times. Or the desire to work it through when things get tough. They don't want to sacrifice, or risk having to sacrifice. Or even put someone else's needs ahead of theirs. They don't think they should have to. They want what they want when they want it. And some of these couples are willing to risk having kids who may pay for their mistakes. These are the same people, who if they do decide to get married, spend five and six figures on a wedding that may not last very long in spite of (or maybe because of) the amount spent.

Don't get me wrong, if these people don't want to get married, I don't think they should. But I think women are incredibly selfish to put their needs ahead of any kids they desire to have out of wedlock.

[Hand em their arse]

were we supposed to?

[Accygirl]

No many want children, but have not found the right man. Women in Gen X and Gen Y are actually better educated than the men, which means there's less suitable mates for these husbands; it's going to become more and more common over the years as the Gen Y women start to look for a mate and see that there's not that many potential mates out there. (The pickings are slim indeed... Too few college grads and too many slacker burger flippers and Starbucks baristas).

I don't see why a woman should be penalized in the marriage game because she got a good education and has a better career than many men of her generation. She's actually an ideal parent as she is older and has more life experience than many new mothers and more money with which to raise a child.

[Accygirl]

Why? Because people are waiting to get married. I'm probably going to be smited by God then because I'm going to get a MBA degree before I even think about getting married (which'll put me at perhaps twenty-eight if I even find a good match).

[mewzilla]

...which means there's less suitable mates for these husbands...

How do you define suitable? Just curious :)

[meyer]

"4 in 10 Births by Single Moms"

And me, the taxpayer, is paying through the nose to support them.

[spanalot]

WOW - an mba - maybe you can be a bank vp someday.

car mechanics make more than most mba's

[grey_whiskers]

I don't see why a woman should be penalized in the marriage game because she got a good education and has a better career than many men of her generation. She's actually an ideal parent as she is older and has more life experience than many new mothers and more money with which to raise a child.

Feminism started with the attitude that "a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."

The feminists (with help from other anti-Western fellow travellers) set out to remake our culture in a way to make this true.

Now that men are little more than sperm donor / child support parasites, the "educated" women now have the nerve to look surprised and say, "where are all the good men?"

The answer being of course, they are either in bomb shelters or seeking feminine brides from overseas.

You reap what you sow...

NO cheers, unfortunately.

Full Disclosure: Yes, I put the quotes around "educated" on purpose.

[Accygirl]

I know all us women should be submissive li'l housewives who stay at home, cook for our darling husbands, and have fifteen children. Perhaps in order to ensure that women get married, we should bar women from college. After all, how dare they get an education? It's just ruining society.

[bizeemommie]

"She's actually an ideal parent as she is older and has more life experience than many new mothers and more money with which to raise a child."

I am not buying it. What is an ideal parent? An ideal parent according to whom? The child? Good parents come in all ages, and in all income brackets. No amount of "life experience" prepares you for the emotional and physical roller coaster that comes with bringing a baby into the world. All that babies want are parents that love them, feed them and give them something to wear. They don't care if it is Wal-Mart brand or Baby Gap.

[Accygirl]

Yep between $80,000 and 100,000 right after graduation (the average for a top twenty MBA program) is just pocket change??? I very much doubt Vinny down at the local Jiffy Lube is making that much money.

[Accygirl]

Having a college education, a decent career, and future plans.... There's nothing more unattractive to women than men in dead end jobs.

[Accygirl]

According to all logical measures of, it is better for a child to grow up with a parent/ parents with more money and more maturity. I'm sure there's very good young parents out there, but I'm also sure that there's very good single, career women raising children.

[Mr. Jeeves]

There's nothing more unattractive to women than men in dead end jobs.

And they know it - that's why you are getting so much flak this morning. ;)

There are a lot of angry, judgmental comments about single mothers here this morning, but just remember: somebody has to reproduce. We're going to need every one of those babies in twenty years to help fight off the Islamic hordes.

[Kenny Bunk]

I'm gonna guess that her gay friend was stereotypically good looking, successful, intelligent and artistic.

And was on her emotional wavelength, understanding her wants and needs, and taste in lingerie. So unlike the typical "male" animal one meets nowadays, ne c'est pas?

Oops, gotta go now. Barney Frank giving a talk at my church and my partner and I would hate to miss it. Our Pastor, quite a gal in her own right, says it's a must attend!

[grey_whiskers]

Yes, I thought if I pressed your buttons, I'd get that kind of response. :-)

The problem is not with women being educated--my wife has an IQ of 150--but of being propagandized by liberals, and telling themselves that whatever they are spoon-fed is "education".

Try reading the short essay "Are Women Human" by Dorothy Sayers. She was a British mystery writer who had a Master's in English from Oxford, and who wrote the classic Murder Must Advertise which appeared on Masterpiece Theatre. Her point is that the classic feminist shriek about "the patriarchy keeping women imprisoned at home" is a bunch of balderdash. The problem is that maintaining a home has had many of the challenging tasks taken out of it, not by men, but by the process of general industrialization. Why select fabric, dye it, weave it, tailor it, maintain it when you can just go down to the mall and buy it "off the rack"?

For the nonce, many women who have entered the working world have discovered the "dirty little secret" their men kept from them, concerning the working world. Working for a corporation SUCKS. My wife points out to me the many women at her job who absolutely HATE working but have to continue doing it, because they can't afford a decent lifestyle otherwise. (See also double-income-no-kids competing with them, easy credit terms which raise the bar on what people *think* they can afford, and confiscatory taxation to provide government support for those who do not bother to take care of their own needs.)

Cheers!

[ByDesign]

"Having a college education, a decent career, and future plans.... There's nothing more unattractive to women than men in dead end jobs."

Your posts have a lot of anger in them, why is that?

What interests me is that you're angrily defending your right to choose a mate based on income, education, and a laundry list of your needs and expectations, yet nowhere do you mention love, and you spit on the idea of motherhood.

If you base your decision on your needs and expectations, you will be divorced, as human beings are imperfect, and there is no man that will be perfect, according to what you are demanding. I meet women like you every day, just hitting their 40's, single and bitter because their "standards" are so high, no man could ever hope to reach them - and their relationships in ashes because they tried. They can't quite understand why they're still single. I hear them lament "He's such a nice guy, and like him, but...." - and it's always he doesnt make enough money, doesnt have enough of a status symbol job, doesnt want to be a mover and shaker on Wall Street, isn't motivated enough, isn't smart enough...whatever. You, i feel, will join their ranks. I don't say that to be malicious, I just know your kind. I've dated enoughw oemn like you to know what your future is, and it's sad, and I hope you can see to drop your anger, and start to develop healthy attitudes towards men, marriage, and motherhood. Nobody is demanding that women stay barefoot and pregant, yet you came out of the box swinging for the fence with attitude and anger, and showed yourself to be part of the problem the article talks about.

Wome are more educated then men? LOL. Okay, whatever you say. That's a nice, snooty attitude you have, and that will do fine to ruin any chance you have of ever being in an honest relationship. Respect is important, and with your comments, you show yourself to be a typical man-basher, who looks down her nose at men. You anger also reveals this.

"Dead end job"? So you'd rather be alone, and single, instead of enjoying the love and comfort of a family? Marriage isn't about being rich, my dear, it's about much more important things than money. I think, with your anger and your attitude, you will never find those things, and I feel sad for you. I hope you find some comfort in material possessions and social rung climbing, but I doubt it, meanwhile, all those guys in "dead end" jobs will be going home at night to loving families and a life of happiness and prosperity you will never understand or know.

I know I'd rather be dirt poor and happy in my marriage and family, than rich and miserable. I truly hope you find out someday that your attitude, so well represented here in this thread, has as much to do with your inability to find a good husband, as the "rejects" you so snarkily refer to do as well. Yes, there are a lot of flaky, screwed up men out there, but there are a lot of well adjusted men, who are going to make great husbands and fathers, but you'll pass them by, because they don't have the "right" job, or make enough money, or did'nt go to college.

I wish you luck, from the bottom of my heart. You'll need it.

[LWalk18]

There are a lot of angry, judgmental comments about single mothers here this morning, but just remember: somebody has to reproduce. We're going to need every one of those babies in twenty years to help fight off the Islamic hordes.

But are these women reproducing the same as if they were married? I would argue that while they are having 1-2 children out of wedlock, they are less likely to have 3-4 children than a married woman. Raising children alone is expensive and time consuming, even with court ordered child support.