Posted on 11/18/2006 1:15:37 PM PST by SkyPilot
PARIS (AFP) - The Church of Scientology provides for several kinds of wedding ceremony for its followers, but according to the most traditional the husband "may promise to provide her (his wife) with "a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat."
US actor Tom Cruise and actress Katie Holmes will provide perhaps the most high-profile Scientologists' wedding to date this weekend.
And according to unconfirmed reports in the Italian media, American Scientology leader David Miscavige will fly in from Los Angeles to preside over the event.
According to the Scientologists' book "The Background, Ministry, Ceremonies and Sermons of the Scientology Religion", there are five versions of the Scientologist wedding ceremony: traditional, informal, single ring, double ring, and concise double ring, all of varying length and formality.
Scientology's "traditional ceremony" includes such advice to the groom as "Now -----, girls need clothes and food and tender happiness and frills, a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat.
"All caprice if you will, but still they need them."
The bride is told: "Hear well, sweet -----, for promise binds. Young men are free and may forget. Remind him that you may have necessities and follies, too."
And do you take
His fortune
At its prime and ebb
And seek
With him best fortune
For us all?
Do you?
The minister then tells the groom:
Now, (Tom Cruise),
girls need clothes
And food and
Tender happiness and frills
A pan, a comb, perhaps a cat
All caprice if you will
But still
They need them.
Do you then
Provide?
Do you?
She looks positively trapped and terrified. Unbelieveable.
Inkem binkem notamus rex, protect us all from the man with the hex.
If this is what money and fame do to your mind, then I want to stay broke and unknown.
People that believe in nothing will believe anything..
Scientology is a symptom..
What a freaky photograph of the blushing bride. I'm speechless.
Do they pledge their worldly goods to Xenu?
Looks like lyrics to a bad song by the "Cars."
Old Yankee hitchin ceremony:
"Have her?"
"Ayuh."
"Have him?"
"I spose."
"Done. One dollar, please."
So are they married or not? I think the news just said that Scientology isn't recognised in Italy, so they need to have a civil ceremony for this to be legal. ???
Um, shouldn't the woman be providing the MAN with a little kitty?
Oh, wait, we're talking about cruise and $cientologists. No kitty wanted.
Doofuses. I think it's doofuses.
I can't afford to be a $cientologist. Anyone know if there's a Xenulyte?
Help, anyone! Lemme out of here!
They're just the ticket to whip global warming/cooling. Oh, I forgot they just shovel it, they don't believe it either.
And specially for cruise, the double anal ring.
Sounds like the beginning of a Meatloaf song...
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