This is our problem as a so-called advanced society. I am going to say some things that a lot of people might not like, but that is the beautiful thing about this board.
Killing a Jihadi man who has 3 wives and 10 children does nothing more than removing one....and creating 13 jihadi stand-ins. I say that to illustrate this point.....a "scorched earth" policy in Iraq would have its detractors, but it would also give pause to the "on the fence" Jihadi sitting with his time bomb and TNT, that he would know that not only is he going to be visiting his virgins soon courtesy of the US military, but that his wives and children would soon be popping up in the virgin paradise right behind him.
If this sounds callous and shallow, so be it.
The only way to stop a human being who is willing to die for their cause is to do exactly that. Kill them. Call me what you will, but I am not willing to strap explosives to my chest to remove Muslims from this earth, but if they are willing to perform this act on me, then I have no issue putting hot lead between his eyes. Any eyes.