Sigh. :( :( :( It made me feel warm and queasy. :( :( :( Last entry wasn't bad though. :)
Elephants are SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much cuter. :)
Just got this one this morning and it made ME feel warm and fuzzy. Hope it will do the same for everybody here:
Democratic Convention
7:00 PM. / Opening flag burning.
7:15 PM. / Pledge of allegiance to United Nations.
7:30 PM. / Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:30 - 8:00 PM. / Non religious prayer and worship - Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton
8:00 PM. / Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:05 PM. / Ceremonial tree hugging.
8:15 - 8:30 PM. / Gay Wedding - Barney Frank presiding.
8:30 PM. / Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:35 PM. / Free Saddam rally. - Cindy Sheehan - Susan Sarandon.
9:00 PM. / Keynote speech - "The proper etiquette for surrender" - French President Jacques Chirac.
9:15 PM. / Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
9:20 PM. / Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund.
9:30 PM. / Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay - Sean Penn
9:40 PM. / Why I hate the Military - A short talk by William Jefferson Clinton.
9:45 PM. / Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
9:50 PM. / Dan Rather presented Truth In Broadcasting award - presented by Michael Moore.
9:55 PM. / Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:00 PM./ How George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center Towers - Howard Dean.
10:30 PM./ Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Mahmud Ahnadinejad.
11:00 PM./ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
11;05 PM./ Al Gore reinvents Internet.
11:15 PM./ Our Troops are War Criminals - John Kerry.
11:30 PM./ Coronation of Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton.
12:00 AM./ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:05 AM./ Bill Clinton asks Ted K. to drive Hillary home.
Sigh. :( :( :( It made me feel warm and queasy. :( :( :( Last entry wasn't bad though. :)
Elephants are SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much cuter. :)
PET RULES
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - snout height.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Usually come when called
5. Never drive your car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
PET RULES
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - snout height.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Usually come when called
5. Never drive your car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.