What makes you say that? 
Posted on 11/06/2006 1:45:44 PM PST by meg88
To the delight of his Los Angeles audience which heartily applauded his every barb at President Bush, such as denigrating Bush as “a retarded child emperor,” left-wing comedian Bill Maher closed his HBO show Friday night with his recommended talking points for Democrats to use to fight back against Republicans and win on Tuesday.
hE started his list, on Real Time with Bill Maher aired live at 11pm EST, with how “when they say 'Democrats will raise taxes,' you say 'we have to because someone spent all the money in the world cutting Paris Hilton's taxes and not killing Osama bin Laden.'” Second, “when they say the 'terrorists want the Democrats to win,' you say 'are you insane? George Bush has been a terrorist's wet dream.' He inflames radical hatred against America and then runs on offering to protect us from it. It's like a guy throwing sh*t on you and then selling you relief from the flies.”
Third, “when they say 'cut and run' or 'defeatocrat,' you say 'Bush lost the war, period.'” Fourth, “when they say that actual combat veterans like John Kerry are 'denigrating the troops,' you say 'you're completely full of shit.'” And finally, “vote Republican and you vote to enable George Bush to keep ruling as an emperor -- a retarded child emperor, but an emperor.” (Transcript follows)
Video clip (3:45): Real (6.5 MB) or Windows Media (7.5 MB), plus MP3 audio (1.3 MB)
Maher delivered his talking points as part of his “New Rules” segment which followed a panel with actor Alec Baldwin, A.B. Stoddard of The Hill newspaper and Republican Congressman Jack Kingston of Georgia.
Addressing Democrats, Maher lectured on the November 3 edition of HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher, produced live at CBS Television City in Los Angeles, as I transcribed it since a transcript has not yet been posted on the “New Rules” page:
“Finally, new rule: Controlling Congress is for closers. Listen up Democrats. It's as easy as ABC: Always Be Closing. First prize, subpoena power in the new Congress. Second prize, a set of steak knives. Third prize, you're fired.
“The election is four days away, and I'm through dicking around with you. Here are the leads, here are your talking points:
“One, when they say 'Democrats will raise taxes,' you say 'we have to because someone spent all the money in the world cutting Paris Hilton's taxes and not killing Osama bin Laden.' [applause] In just six years the national debt has doubled. You can't keep spending money you don't take in. That's not even elementary economics, that's just called don't be Michael Jackson. [some laughter]
“Two, when they say the 'terrorists want the Democrats to win,' you say 'are you insane? George Bush has been a terrorist's wet dream.' He inflames radical hatred against America and then runs on offering to protect us from it. It's like a guy throwing shit on you and then selling you relief from the flies. [laughter and applause]
“Three, when they say 'cut and run' or 'defeatocrat,' you say 'Bush lost the war, period.' [applause] All this nonsense about the violence is getting worse over there because they're trying to influence the election, no, it's getting worse because you drew up the post-war plans on the back of a cocktail napkin at Applebees. [applause] And of course Democrats want to win, but that's impossible now that you've ethnically-cleansed the place by making it unlivable -- just like you did with New Orleans. [applause]
“Four, when they say that actual combat veterans like John Kerry are 'denigrating the troops,' you say 'you're completely full of shit.' Remember when Al Gore caught all that flack for sighing and moaning during that debate? Yeah, don't do that. Just say, 'you're full of shit.' If I was a troop, the support I would want back home would mainly come in the form of people pressuring Washington to get me out of this pointless nightmare. [applause] That's how I would feel supported. So, when they say 'Democrats are obstructionists,' you say 'you're welcome.' Sometimes good people have to intercede to prevent dire consequences. You wouldn't like to think of me as an obstructionist, but what if Roseanne [Barr, earlier guest] had offered to sing? [laughter] So I would be happy to frame this debate as a fight between the obstructionists and the enablers. There's your talking point. Vote Republican and you vote to enable George Bush to keep ruling as an emperor -- a retarded child emperor [laughter], but an emperor.
“So Democrats, you've got four days to get out there and close. And it's not about slogans this time, although when it comes to slogans, the only one I'm prepared to accept from the opposition is, 'The Republican Party: We're sorry.'” [applause]
Oh wow... that was freaking hillarious...</sarc
Oh that Bill, he's so completely full of witty retorts.
Subliminal conditioning buried within liberal broadcasts.
Maher is a degenerate pussy, my fourth grader could kick his ass with one hand tied behind his back.
Because the media is the enabler...
Great. He mocks the mentally handicapped with his "retarded" comment.
I am glad he is mocked at the end of this YouTube sing-along ---
http://youtube.com/watch?v=qdC2hiQHcPE
He ranks rght there with Howard Moore, he is enamored
of his own foul mouthed language and thinks his audience
is that dumb to follow his half-ass diatribes...this is
why we are Freepers to, freep the "elite" jerks like
him.....never watch him...did once long time ago and knew I couldn't stomach him....who pays good money to watch
an ego-tistical, pseudo-intellectual like him?? Jake
I agree. I saw part of the show and every joke was dripping with venomous hate filled invectives against our President, Republicans and the troops. He has always been this way. He hates America, always has and probably always will.
He makes millions of dollars a year spewing out hatred for all that America stands for. Such a hypocrite.
Remember this is the idiot who said the 9/11 suicide bombers were heroes and that US Air Force personnel were cowards. At least he got fired for that comment. He is despicable.
He always reminds me of an unattractive guy who became *funny* to get girls attention. I would feel sorry for him except he's just so downright mean.
susie
Bill, get your own material. Leave Alec's (and Dave Mamet's) alone.
If he were a "troop"...he'd have been
fragged, a long time ago. Who wants a
worthless whiny pervert like him in a
position to get them killed because
Maher is running his diahrea mouth
so much the enemy knows exactly where
you are.
Yep....If Maher were a "troop" (Hah!)
He'd be dead by now.
Thanks...
Of course, he would never be a troop, because he would not have volunteered for the job, and if there were a draft, I suspect he would have fled.
susie
Maher is a moron.
If his show came across my screen I would throw out my television.
What makes you say that?
An Old Testament guy who let his ass do the talking.
They have been fun to make.
Thanks- you just proved that. I know I should keep off politics, being as I am a Canadian citizen. I do not have the vote and do not pay taxes in America.
Damn it. I have some Jack Daniels at hand. Made me a little emotive. One of these days the moderator is going to chastise me.
To think that this individual sports the name of one of America's old time Irish prize fighters. He was Fighting Peter Maher. Maher cannot even pronounce his name right. It is not MARR. It is MA-HAR.
Still, he is an asset to all of us. I am sure that many Americans would be a little leary of Maher. I have Sean Hannity at hand on talk radio.
Now that is a real FIGHTING AMERICAN (of Irish descent). Laughs
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