Posted on 10/31/2006 7:14:16 PM PST by hole_n_one
"Oh my,,remember Kerry Hunting?"
With all kudos to the late comedian Buddy Hackett:
John Kerry, in dire need of carrying Ohio in his 2004 presidential bid, decided he should go "goose hunting" to maybe shore up the NRA and hunter's votes.
Kerry goes and buys his hunting licence, full camo gear, and brandishing his new shotgun, paused for the pre-hunt photo ops, and then takes off with a few other hunters, and begins his goose quest.
Going quite far off the "beaten path", to remain out of sight of the press incase he comes up "empty" in his "endeavor", Kerry and crew finally see a chance for a goose as a flock finally flies overhead within shotgun range. The rest of Kerry's team hold their fire to give Kerry his chance for a "kill".
Kerry fires twice and misses, but quickly reloads, and his third shot at the flock, hits it's mark and wings one of the geese. The bird does not go down right away, but injuredly glides on a downward path ahead of Kerry's party and lands out of their sight near what appears to be a farmers barn and house.
Kerry's party quickly goes to redeem their "prize", and climbing over the farmer's fence that marks his property, see the goose still flapping beside the farmer's barn. Kerry quickly heads to the barn, but is stopped short of retrieving the goose, as he is suddenly met by the farmer who owns the property.
Kerry says to the farmer:"Hello, I'm John Kerry, the Senator from Mass who is running for President. I shot a goose, and it landed by the barn and I was going to retrieve it."
The farmer replies:"Yes, I recognize you Senator, but it seems like you are unfamiliar with the goose hunting rules here in Ohio. If the goose lands on someone elses property, you do not have ownership of the bird, unless you are the winner of the challenge by the owner of the property."
Kerry replies: "I didn't know about the Ohio rule challenge. What is it?"
The farmer replies:"The owner of the property gets to pick the challenge. If you refuse, I get to keep the goose."
Kerry questions the farmer: "Well, it sounds fair, but what is your challenge ?"
The farmer replies: "You and I will have a contest. The contest is, we will take turns accepting a kick to the groin, and the last one standing gets to keep the goose. Agreed?"
Kerry thinks for a moment. He doesn't want to come away from his well publicized "goose hunt" empty handed, and the farmer doesn't look very strong. The war hero Kerry says to the farmer: "Well, it's a strange challenge, but let's go for it !!"
The farmer replies: "Ok Senator, but because I am the property owner, I get to start the challenge."
Kerry agrees. He hands his shotgun to one of the members of his party, and takes an open stance ready to accept the farmer's first attempt.
The farmer approaches Kerry, and gives him such a kick, that Kerry is lifted off his feet, and crumples into a writhing ball of pain. The farmer backs away, waiting to see if Kerry will survive his first kick. Kerry groans in pain, but after a few minutes, with his friends cheering him to get up, rises to his feet.
With Kerry's party cheering him on, Kerry says to the farmer: "Well that was pretty good, but now according to your rules, it's my turn to kick you !!"
The farmer replies: "Aw, you can keep the goose !!"
Exactly what Colonel Hunt suggested on Howie Carr's show yesterday! Of course, even if it lets him off the hook for the time being, it wouldn't do much for his [cough, cough] presidential aspirations!
"Of course, even if it lets him off the hook for the time being, it wouldn't do much for his [cough, cough] presidential aspirations!"
Good. The Dems ruined George Allen's aspirations to the presidency in 2008, so we ruin Kerry's aspirations in revenge. Revenge is sweet.
McCain wasn't bad either. Him having two sons in the military right now, one in basic the other in the Naval Academy made it even more personal.
I complained once about Colin, they told me flat out they were not going o get rid of him.
HEY, did that package get returned to you? I never got it!
Not only blow his last presidential run badly (Lurch only did as well as he did because the media backed him the whole way), but now he's single-handedly blowing the DemonRat Congressional election.
How's that presidential run going now, Johnbo?!
Thank you for sharing that video.
Where is Kerry? Probably in the place where people are least likely to look for him, because he's so rarely seen there--on Capitol Hill.
(I think it was on H&C but it might have been o reilly)When the woman who was on with Barone and the pollster said that every bad day in Iraq is a good day for the Dem's.
Good job!
Actually, I think it will hold back from voting the least-enthusiastic 5% of the emerging Democratic majority - which was their margin of victory.
I'll admit I was disappointed when I only heard of one suicide after the 2004 election. With all the Bush hatred out there, I expected to see suicide bombers at the Republican convention, too.
I suspect we can count on him canceling events for the rest of the week as well.
My question now is: how many soldiers have already casted their vote for the Rats? How many haven't (but the deadline to vote was days ago)? Please, help me.
Could this help in VA election?
The military is, in majority, GOP leaning.
So you do not have too much to worry for. And the past tense of cast is "have cast". So be sure we all cast our ballots by pulling the GOP lever -- or whatever the touch screen equivalent is.
When counted, our votes all will have been cast for Team Bush!
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