Posted on 10/18/2006 3:26:12 PM PDT by dighton
by Dr. Howard Dean
Chairman, Democratic National Committee
Dear Valued Potential Customer:
As the leader of one of America’s premier political parties, I know firsthand the importance of building bridges to the various communities and constituencies we serve. Unfortunately, when serving as many diverse communities as we do at the DNC, sometimes an important relationship can inadvertently fall through the cracks. Frankly, I realize we have not always brought our “A Game” when it comes to the concerns of conservative-Americans. That’s why we would like to take this opportunity to start a dialog with you, the conservative “values voter,” by addressing an issue of vital importance to all of us -- the growing Republican homo menace.
Despite what you may have heard on Fox News, we Democrats know what issues are on the minds of heartland conservatives like you. We know that your number one concern of is the safety of your children -- whether they are plucking their banjos on the back porch, speaking tongues to snakes at Jesus Camp, or torching crosses at your local Nascar racing contest. We also know that the number one threat to your children’s safety is the scourge of international homo-ism. That’s why we at the DNC have created “The Contract With American Hillbillies,” a new multipoint investigation program to identify and root out conservative stealth homoism before it threatens you or your precious little inbreeds.
Hee hee!
FOTFLOL!
"The Gay Old Party."
Another great comedy relief special from Iowahawk -- Thanks for the post!
This is satire. It didn't really happen.
"The sad part is, the Democrats really think this way."
Yep.
"Can I get me a huntin' license here?"
If we stay home or vote Democrat instead of Republican, a lot of Democrats will slip through the ~um~ cracks!
Iowahawk bump for the morning crew.
This may be the funniest thing I've seen
since Kerry went for a bike ride!
-Eric
Great scene from Deliverance! A little toe-tapping in the morning.
"Met her on the CB, said her name was Phoebe..." LOL!
I forgot about that.LOL
IowaHawk should send this to Rush,or someone who has 24/7 send it to him. He would probably read it on the air today.
The pit crews have tire irons.
Actually, except in England (where Greek names for girls are still used more often than here -- Melissa being one of the exceptions), the name Phoebe was generally more common in the black American community.
The reason was, the African tradition was to name a girl child after the day of the week she was born on; but white masters wouldn't countenance Africanizing or pagan customs (although some customs and usages persisted, secretly: burying iron kettles and jumping over a broom at a wedding are two examples; the "shotgun" house is another), so black mothers disguised their continuation of the custom by selecting names used in the English-speaking world that were sound-alikes for the African day-of-the-week names.
In one of the African languages (forget which), Friday is "Fifa". So girls born on Friday would be named Phoebe vice Fifa by their mothers. That's why there were a lot of Phoebe's in 19th-century black America. And of course the name would tend to persist in families even after the reason for its original giving had been forgotten, as the ex-slaves walked away from their African memories that had been kept secretly for generations in the quarters.
Bottom line: Phoebe was a black thing in the country, and you wouldn't find a lot of Phoebe's among rural Scots-Irish whites.
It wasn't all that long ago, either, that some black Harvard professor advocated mandatory miscegenation as a national policy. One of those knuckleheaded "fresh ideas" the Left used to come up with, back when people still insisted that the Left was the party of ideas and ideals.
Now they're the party of deals, and meals on wheels. And cash in the freezer.
Damnthatsfunny!
People like Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Ted Kennedy, Hillary Clinton and John Kerry, dedicated public servants who want to reach out to you in a completely non-gay way.
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