Posted on 10/06/2006 1:42:51 AM PDT by beaversmom
I'D never buy a copy of Men's Health magazine, just like I'd never pay for People, Us or even Real Simple.
But that doesn't mean I don't sometimes flip through those magazines, and Men's Health is now diversion No. 1 one when I spy a copy at the gym or doctor's office.
All because of this tidbit from an article titled "Your To-Don't List — 19 things a man should never do":
"Leer ... pervert isn't a label you can just peel off."
The ellipses save you from salacious descriptions that detract from the main message. Photos throughout the magazine of women's bodies, tousled hair but no names likewise undermine the sincerity. Still: As a woman reading an R-rated, straight-man's magazine that according to The New York Times has a circulation of "almost 1.8 million": Thank you.
Now, this is where some of you will say: "Here comes another feminist rant against men's innocent and sometimes physically uncontrollable impulse to appreciate the beauty of the opposite sex."
And here's where I say, "What is the member of the opposite sex supposed to do with those moments when a man visually takes in her whole body, top to bottom — without apology or even embarrassment — as if entitled to something?"
I'm not talking about quick glances. I'm talking about appraising stares that render many, many women of all ages uncomfortable once any shreds of embarrassed flattery run their course.
Maybe because I'm the mother of two young girls I've become an observer of men ogling teenage girls. They do it all the time, no matter what the teenagers are wearing or what they are doing. I find myself superimposing my kid on those teenagers' bodies and I get creeped out.
That'll be my daughter buying the bag of Kettle Korn...
(Excerpt) Read more at seattletimes.nwsource.com ...
At a party or event, walk into a room filled with strangers and without making eye contact
with anyone,immediately identify the one woman in the room who has the power to break your heart. Now ignore her as you go about having a great time. When you do finally meet, she should feel discovered... found....not caught in some large fish net she designed.
I'm not supporting "leering" as she describes it, but in regard to teenage girls, many of them dress like little prostitutes. Then they wonder why men leer at them.
Agreed, impossible.
I heard that, the woman was reasonably intelligent and well spoken, but she refused to the point of absurdity to accept the reality of the male make up.
While boorish behavior and comments are completely ignorant, to claim a woman can walk down the street with every one of her secondary sexual characteristics popping out and dressed expressly to draw attention to them, she can't claim on the other hand that guys should not be looking. That's feminist gobbledygook. Guys are wired different from women, and like it or not, visual cues are processed completely differently by mens minds than womens.
To claim a woman should be able to to this, and its on the man to not notice? That's Feminist nonsense. You are ignoring the fundamental realities of life if you think that way.
If you intentionally flaunt your sexuality visually, don't be shocked and offended when you get a sexual reaction to it.
Now as to the Holla Back stuff.... I wonder how many ex bf's who've done nothing more than break up with someone are now being slandered on there by spiteful vengeful exs? Was bad enough when they would just spread rumors among their friends.. now gals can post your picture and lie to folks they don't even know about you too.
I am no fan of oogling, and I honestly don't understand some of the behavior I see out of guys.... I've got as much testosterone as anyone.. but I would never behave the way I see many do.
Still you dress immodestly, you can't claim to be offended when you attract the attention of someone you weren't hoping to.
Now as to teenage girls... Where are there MOTHERS??????? I find it revolting when I see a 50 year old guy leering at some 15 year old.... and yes it happens all the time. I've seen them change seats in restraunts just to get better views... Now at the same time the girl is wearing a skirt that maybe covers her butt cheeks MAYBE and a shirt that makes a 70s tube top look modest. WHERE THE HELL ARE THE MOMS IN THIS????
Tell your daughters, YOU DON'T WEAR CLOATHING THAT HAS THINGS WRITTEN ACROSS YOUR BUM!... Its not cute, and guys are going to look at it anyway... I saw one Mother and Daughter clothes shopping together and the mom was actually encouraging the girl to wear things that were completely inappropriate... because the Mom thought they were "cute". Stop trying to be their friends, and be their MOM!
That doesn't look juicy at all... Have her call me when she actually gets some adult woman hips... jeez...
That's not juicy, that's scrawny and sinnewy.
I was commenting more on the positioning of the "advertisement"...rather than the "truth in advertising" aspect.
(But I agree with your point.)
The writing across the bum is a big pet peeve of mine. I dislike it a lot. So you can imagine that I was not too happy when I caught my daughter in the act--check this picture of her out:
Miscellaneous Ping List + others
ROTFLMAO! (At my age looking is about all I can do.)
Funny you should say that...I used to work at a company with a drop-dead gorgeous woman...and a very nice one too, but completely unaware of how she looked to men.
She came into work after lunch one day, and complained that people are driving like complete idiots...she saw two rear end collisions when she was downtown having lunch...
We all nearly fell out of our chairs...
The part in that that made me laugh the hardest is when the guy walks up to about 15 feet away, meekly says "Hi", and she gives him a look like a potential ax rapist and picks up the sexual harrassment hotline to call Security!!!!
(That, and when Brady just reaches down and gives the gal a squeeze...!)
She's now a professor of Statistics (or some sort of Applied Mathematics) at an Ivy-League school somewhere.
My girls dress fairly modest while staying in fashion but they are so vibrant and pretty (fact, not opinion) than people of both sexes "look" at them. Then there are the leerers. Once while standing in check-out line - I caught one of them who would not quit staring at my oldest even though he knew I saw him. I finally took my cell phone out and took a picture of him and he vanished like the wind. Course that could have been because he was possible illegal. :o)
What the leerers should remember is that the object of their leering is some father's daughter, some brother's sister, even some son's mother.
Exactly.
Think about a man for a second wearing drawers that have the word "Juicy" screened on the backside. Completely different things come to mind don't they?
All good gentleman should wear shades when going for a "leering" walk. It makes a better experience for all!
Don't like the muffin topper look 'eh?
Well, there are several different things going on here:
1) Of course, women who do the things you mention want to be looked at...by Brad Pitt. And on the off chance he is going to be at the mall this afternoon, she had better be prepared. ;)
2) The day the 16-year-old daughter becomes more attractive to the majority of men than her 40-year-old mother is a terribly traumatic event in the 40-year-old mother's life - thus the unusual sensitivity to men's stares from the author of the article.
3) Men who really do leer at women as if they were looking at porn on their computers are less common, but genuinely frightening to women as other posters have described. I think only a small percentage of them are genuinely dangerous - the rest just have poor social skills and don't realize how they are coming across.
4) And Ms. Politically Correct will never admit it, but a very high percentage of those serial leerers are young urban Black males and immigrants from Latin America.
5) The big difference between the man whose appreciative stares are greeted with a smile from a woman instead of a negative reaction isn't looks or money...it's self-confidence. If he looks away as soon as she makes eye contact (like a very high percentage of men do), it's all over - she moves him into the "creep" category instantly, and there's no road back. If he instead holds her gaze and smiles until she looks away, a remarkably different result will often occur. Of course, doing this requires genuine self-confidence - you can't fake it.
6) The author of the article needs to spend a month in Eastern Europe or Russia, then come back and try to complain about how those awful American men are staring at her...
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