Posted on 09/16/2006 5:00:20 AM PDT by fanfan
Police told them of shooting spree 10 hours later Son learned about guns during stint with army: Mother
LAVAL, QUE.
On Wednesday, Kimveer Gill's parents were watching television, glued to the coverage of the carnage at Dawson College. By that time, their son had killed Anastasia De Sousa and wounded about 20 other people before turning his gun on himself.
But his parents had no inkling of his involvement until the police arrived at their bungalow in Laval at 11:30 p.m., more than 10 hours after the shooting spree.
Their son a killer? They were blown away, crushed.
"My husband cried all night and said, "If I only knew! If I only knew,'" Kimveer Gill's mother, Parvinder Sandhu, said in an interview.
"Tell everyone, it's really hard for the parents. It's the worst thing that can happen. We knew nothing.
"It was a shock, our legs buckled, then they became as hard as rock," she said of hearing the news about her 25-year-old son from police.
She is interviewed in the modest white brick house the family bought when her son was 6.
The curtains are closed. No lights are on. The father, who does not speak to reporters and asks that his first name not be used, is in the kitchen, adjacent to the living room. He makes funeral arrangements for his son. Their other sons, the twins, are up in their bedroom.
There is another room, Kimveer's — his lair where he played on the computer and kept his precious guns. His mother would not allow reporters into the room. But she said Kimveer left no note before he went on his killing spree.
Since the tragedy, the family has been prisoners in the house; they live on meals ordered for them by the police.
She agreed to the interview with La Presse yesterday hoping that it would somehow call off the pack of journalists who have been hounding them, knocking on their door, telephoning and even climbing up and looking at them through the windows.
They try hard to mourn — they have lost a son and become the parents of an assassin. "People forget that; they believe that perhaps we are criminals, too," she says.
She gives some sketchy biographical information: the family arrived in Canada 20 years ago. She worked in a store but quit her job when she got breast cancer. Her husband doesn't work any more, but according to a family friend, he was once a professor at Toronto university; he does not say which one.
She insists her son was not the solitary, taciturn person the media have portrayed.
"He had friends and everything," she said, but adds that he had changed lately.
"Since Christmas, he became more sad, more tranquil. He started to spend more time on his computer, playing video games."
Her son, she says, once suffered from depression, overwhelmed by her illness. He was treated at a local health clinic.
Yes, the parents were aware of the guns. Kimveer showed them his impressive Beretta. He was a member of a gun club in suburban Lachine.
"There was nothing illegal, otherwise we wouldn't have tolerated that." The guns were registered and kept in his room. "He showed us his big gun, the semi-automatic which he used for shooting, but he said it was for sport, for going to the training centre."
His mother insists he learned about guns during a four-week stint of basic training with the Canadian Forces in 1999.
The army denies this. Lieut. Carol Brown, a spokeswoman for the Forces, confirmed Gill did go through four weeks of basic training. But she said he did not carry arms — weapons training and drills take place later in training.
The Forces refuse to confirm his reasons for leaving.
His parents say they now know their son hid many things. They were stupefied to see pictures of him as an avenging angel on a violent goth website.
"Seeing (the pictures), I asked myself how a good boy could become like this. I never knew he went to this site. Perhaps it influenced him," his mother said.
If she and her husband had had the slightest hint of what was going on, they would have intervened. "We would have built a wall in front of him to prevent him from doing that." And if her son had survived? "I would be very angry with him. I would insist they give him the maximum penalty. No one deserves what just happened. I feel terrible when I see the other parents suffering," she said.
On saying that, her eyes fill with tears.
La Presse, with files from Sébastien Rodrigue
Please send me a FReepmail to get on or off this Canada ping list.
Gee, I thought guns were banned in Canada?
Too bad one or more of the school teachers did not have ccw and firearm available to them.
There have been conflicting reports, but I understand there were 2 cops nearby who followed him into the building, and shot him in the arm, at which time he shot himself.
Prior to this, he didn't know guns existed. Evil army, evil guns.
Yeah, as if.
Well ma and pa, congrats. You raised a real POS.
****hoping that it would somehow call off the pack of journalists who have been hounding them, knocking on their door, telephoning and even climbing up and looking at them through the windows. ***
I guess the reporters would have another story if this happened to me. It would be hard enough to find out my son was dead and died because he had killed others, but if a reporter had the temerity to come on my property and climb up and look into my window at this time of terrible happenings . I would blow his/her stinking head off.
These people have a right to some privacy,some time for grief,some time to come to grips with what is happening. They dont need these vultures coming to pick their bones.
Yes: Their son turned into a POS, it happens. It doesnt mean the parents failed or are responsible.
"There is another room, Kimveer's — his lair where he played on the computer and kept his precious guns. His mother would not allow reporters into the room. But she said Kimveer left no note before he went on his killing spree."
He was 25 years old, far from being a teenager. His parents didn't find it odd that a *man* his age would be holed up in a bedroom in their house playing video games?
Sorrow and prayers for the victims of this creep.
My first thought....he was too damned old for this punk-kiddy-stuff.
My heart goes out to parents like this.
But the time to solve teen problems is
age 0-6 or 7.
Fathers must bond with their sons and maintain an emotional bond and intimacy throughout the child's life. No other choice.
If they don't know how, they must move heaven and earth to learn how.
They must relate to the son in a way that leaves the son ATTRACTED TO, DELIGHTING IN, FIERCLY PROTECTIVE of
HEART TO HEART DIALOGUES WITH DAD ROUTINELY.
It IS possible and crucial.
"His parents didn't find it odd that a *man* his age would be holed up in a bedroom in their house playing video games?"
That doesn't quite pass the smell test, does it?
It doesnt mean the parents failed or are responsible.
= = = =
Sorry. I've heard this all my life as a PhD in clinical psychology. And before that from numerous relatives and church friends.
I have, in my 60 years, NEVER observed it to be the case. NEVER.
Within 5 minutes of talking with such alleged parents, I could find several ways in which the parents failed. Sorry. That's just the facts from my perspective.
I have NEVER known a teen in trouble who
HAD AN EMOTIONALLY BONDED, HEALTHY INTIMACY WITH A CONSTRUCTIVE, HEALTHY, STRONG VALUES, POSITIVE FATHER.
NEVER.
He was 25 years old, far from being a teenager. His parents didn't find it odd that a *man* his age would be holed up in a bedroom in their house playing video games?
= = = =
Odd tends to be defined as out of the social norm; NONaverage.
Goths have become alarmingly--perhaps not quite average--but exceedingly familiar in far too many neighborhoods, imho.
I have a hard time believing that parents "don't know" when dealing with something like this. I think that they would rather not confront the situation and close their eyes to what is happening right in front of them.
= = = =
Qx:
Indeed. Far too true.
Then something like this happens and the "didn't know" becomes their defense. It's hard to have sympathy for these parents when other parents are in mourning for their children who did nothing more than go school that day. Their son was a monster and they should have known and had the courage to do something about it.
Qx: Plenty true.
However, it is SOMEWHAT complicated by the wife/mother's cancer and perhaps the father's . . . weakness . . . dealing with that? No real excuse but somewhat mitigating factors worthy SOME understanding.
There's clearly been plenty of angst, trauma, grief, life/death wrenching extremes in the home for years.
Do you suppose he was real cheery and nice around the house? And suddenly turned into this monster when out? at 25? Denial is a strange thing.
Guns must be banned in the Army.
My first thought....he was too damned old for this punk-kiddy-stuff.
= = = =
Yes & No. imho, in this case, mostly no.
Emotional age is different from chronological age.
And, there's enough evidence already to indicate that the kid was emotionally stunted, immature, isolated, angry, bewildered, helpless, hopeless.
And, the father may have also been somewhat grieving, helpless, hopeless given the mother's potential death from cancer. It almost sounds like the mother was AT LEAST as strong as the father, even with her cancer.
Far from an ideal picture of a family.
Thanks for posting that, Quix. From your experience. Sad but true, I believe.
Our son is 20. As we look back on his group of friends, you can just SEE where the trouble is brewing, which families are not dealing with the things that are so important, etc. Poor kids.
Poor humans.
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