While my grandmother wasn't bedridden, I took care of her for over ten years as she had dementia. I included her in a lot of activities and chores around the house. There just wasn't a whole lot she could do without risking her life and mine.
A few months ago, it reached a point where it was getting virtually impossible and my whole life was put on hold because I was basically caring for my grandmother who had trouble putting her own clothes on properly or turning on the faucet for the bath tub. So my father (her son), my mother and I moved my grandmother into a nursing home facility.
If that isn't enough, THEY are having a helluva time trying to keep her from wandering outside the building, getting her into bed at night at a decent hour (she harasses other residents until 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning).
Now my aunt (dad's older sister) is threatening to have dad turn off the water, and the utilities in my grandmother's house that she has promised is mine when my grandmother passes on, because my aunt has NO compassion for me, my father, or her OWN MOTHER. She's worried about the inheritance money.
I've pretty much stayed out of the fight as I have very little to say regarding the matter, but silly family disagreements like this is enough to set anyone off.
I've seen it all first hand. I don't need to be lectured by holier-than-thou types about what's right and what's wrong.
Not once, have I, my father, or my mother made money an issue in this.
People who actually LIVE these life stories know it's not about money or anything else.
It's one thing to post day in an day out on an internet forum.
It's quite another to actually sign a DNR.
Tragic situation. It's also sad that your grandma didn't deed her house to you before her dementia set in.
Sorry to see you go through this. You need to ask your aunt is she doing this out of love or for the money. My guess her answer will be for both. I have seen people make decisions based on inheritance. You can be if she was getting nothing she would be on your side.
Ugh! The money issue. I know you didn't make that the case but your aunt sounds like some of my husband's aunts. Three of the family took care of his grandma in her days. His mom did the most. Once she died the rest of the family came down and even argued about what they were going to get. "I don't need this and I know you do, but my mom promised it to me." His uncle only wanted his dad's tools and that was really it.