Airline terror baggage ban hits a bum note: musicians

AFP ^ | Sun Sep 10 | Katherine Haddon

[Westlander]

A group of top classical musicians has warned of the threat to artistic life from a hand baggage ban introduced after police foiled an alleged bomb plot against transatlantic airliners.

Many performers refuse to let their instruments, often centuries old and extremely valuable, out of their sight when they travel on planes in case they are damaged in the hold.

[John Robertson]

Thank you very much.

Classical music dittoes.

[NotJustAnotherPrettyFace]

Keep your eye on http://www.usedflutes.com/ as well.

[t_skoz]

Rock & Roll ping!

This is related to rock musicians as well as classical ones.

FRmail either myself or weegee to be added to or removed from this ping list.

[NotJustAnotherPrettyFace]

You might appreciate this list as well.

[NotJustAnotherPrettyFace]

This one would probably be as close to my student model instrument as possible.

[Xenalyte]

If you ever get the chance, go see Cast in Bronze. He plays at my Festival, which is why I took it up.

The towers I've played in have the player on the second or third story, with the bells above the player and usually a steel floor separating them. The sound diffuses out into the air and covers a lot of acreage, high up.

Cast in Bronze, however, is very close to the ground - the big bells are probably about three feet up - so the sound goes directly into the dirt and up into your torso. It's hard to describe how sound, which is ordinarily audible, actually physically affects people in a tangible way.

The best way I can capture it is that you can feel the music inside you. It moves people.

[weegee]

Wasn't there a suspicious group of musicians on a flight in the past couple years?

And Cat Stevens is on the no fly list.

[MineralMan]

"This one would probably be as close to my student model instrument as possible"

That's pretty typical. You should be able to find a nice replacement for it in a pretty short time. Once you do, you can donate yours to some deserving kid who made the mistake of buying one of the horrid Chinese instruments.

[SpinnerWebb]

Just for you all.........

What's the difference between a baritone saxophone and a chain saw?

-The exhaust.

Or vibrato.

[SpinnerWebb]

OK, I'm tough. You can hit me with soprano, piano or flute jokes in return. ;-)

Ok then... How many sopranos does it take to sing Patsy Cline's "Crazy"?

All of them, apparantly...

[NotJustAnotherPrettyFace]

THE YOUNG PERSON'S GUIDE TO THE SATB CHOIR

In any chorus, there are four voice parts: soprano, alto, tenor, and bass. Sometimes these are divided into first and second within each part, prompting endless jokes about first and second basses. There are also various other parts such as baritone, countertenor, contralto, mezzo soprano, etc., but these are mostly used by people who are either soloists, or belong to some excessively hotshot classical a cappella group (this applies especially to countertenors), or are trying to make excuses for not really fitting into any of the regular voice parts, so we will ignore them for now.

Each voice part sings in a different range, and each one has a very different personality. You may ask, "Why should singing different notes make people act differently?", and indeed this is a mysterious question and has not been adequately studied, especially since scientists who study musicians tend to be musicians themselves and have all the peculiar complexes that go with being tenors, french horn players, timpanists, or whatever. However, this is beside the point; the fact remains that the four voice parts can be easily distinguished, and I will now explain how.

THE SOPRANOS are the ones who sing the highest, and because of this they think they rule the world. They have longer hair, fancier jewelry, and swishier skirts than anyone else, and they consider themselves insulted if they are not allowed to go at least to a high F in every movement of any given piece. When they reach the high notes, they hold them for at least half again as long as the composer and/or conductor requires, and then complain that their throats are killing them and that the composer and conductor are sadists. Sopranos have varied attitudes toward the other sections of the chorus, though they consider all of them inferior. Altos are to sopranos rather like second violins to first violins - nice to harmonize with, but not really necessary. All sopranos have a secret feeling that the altos could drop out and the piece would sound essentially the same, and they don't understand why anybody would sing in that range in the first place - it's so boring. Tenors, on the other hand, can be very nice to have around; besides their flirtation possibilities (it is a well-known fact that sopranos never flirt with basses), sopranos like to sing duets with tenors because all the tenors are doing is working very hard to sing in a low-to-medium soprano range, while the sopranos are up there in the stratosphere showing off. To sopranos, basses are the scum of the earth - they sing too damn loud, are useless to tune to because they're down in that low, low range - and there has to be something wrong with anyone who sings in the F clef, anyway.

THE ALTOS are the salt of the earth - in their opinion, at least. Altos are unassuming people, who would wear jeans to concerts if they were allowed to. Altos are in a unique position in the chorus in that they are unable to complain about having to sing either very high or very low, and they know that all the other sections think their parts are pitifully easy. But the altos know otherwise. They know that while the sopranos are screeching away on a high A, they are being forced to sing elaborate passages full of sharps and flats and tricks of rhythm, and nobody is noticing because the sopranos are singing too loud (and the basses usually are too). Altos get a deep, secret pleasure out of conspiring together to tune the sopranos flat. Altos have an innate distrust of tenors, because the tenors sing in almost the same range and think they sound better. They like the basses, and enjoy singing duets with them - the basses just sound like a rumble anyway, and it's the only time the altos can really be heard. Altos' other complaint is that there are always too many of them and so they never get to sing really loud.

THE TENORS are spoiled. That's all there is to it. For one thing, there are never enough of them, and choir directors would rather sell their souls than let a halfway decent tenor quit, while they're always ready to unload a few altos at half price. And then, for some reason, the few tenors there are are always really good - it's one of those annoying facts of life.. So it's no wonder that tenors always get swollen heads - after all, who else can make sopranos swoon? The one thing that can make tenors insecure is the accusation (usually by the basses) that anyone singing that high couldn't possibly be a real man.. In their usual perverse fashion, the tenors never acknowledge this, but just complain louder about the composer being a sadist and making them sing so damn high. Tenors have a love-hate relationship with the conductor, too, because the conductor is always telling them to sing louder because there are so few of them. No conductor in recorded history has ever asked for less tenor in a forte passage. Tenors feel threatened in some way by all the other sections - the sopranos because they can hit those incredibly high notes; the altos because they have no trouble singing the notes the tenors kill themselves for; and the basses because, although they can't sing anything above an E, they sing it loud enough to drown the tenors out. Of course, the tenors would rather die than admit any of this. It is a little-known fact that tenors move their eyebrows more than anyone else while singing.

THE BASSES sing the lowest of anybody. This basically explains everything. They are stolid, dependable people, and have more facial hair than anybody else. The basses feel perpetually unappreciated, but they have a deep conviction that they are actually the most important part (a view endorsed by musicologists, but certainly not by sopranos or tenors), despite the fact that they have the most boring part of anybody and often sing the same note (or in endless fifths) for an entire page. They compensate for this by singing as loudly as they can get away with - most basses are tuba players at heart. Basses are the only section that can regularly complain about how low their part is, and they make horrible faces when trying to hit very low notes. Basses are charitable people, but their charity does not extend so far as tenors, whom they consider effete poseurs. Basses hate tuning the tenors more than almost anything else. Basses like altos - except when they have duets and the altos get the good part. As for the sopranos, they are simply in an alternate universe which the basses don't understand at all. They can't imagine why anybody would ever want to sing that high and sound that bad when they make mistakes. When a bass makes a mistake, the other three parts will cover him, and he can continue on his merry way, knowing that sometime, somehow, he will end up at the root of the chord.

[texson66]

St. Crispen's Day Speech
William Shakespeare, 1599

Enter the KING

WESTMORELAND. O that we now had here
But one ten thousand of those men in England
That do no work to-day!

KING. What's he that wishes so?
My cousin Westmoreland? No, my fair cousin;
If we are mark'd to die, we are enow
To do our country loss; and if to live,
The fewer men, the greater share of honour.
God's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.
By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,
Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;
It yearns me not if men my garments wear;
Such outward things dwell not in my desires.
But if it be a sin to covet honour,
I am the most offending soul alive.
No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England.
God's peace! I would not lose so great an honour
As one man more methinks would share from me
For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!
Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
We would not die in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.'
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.'
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

[ko_kyi]

Just remember the string player's motto:

It's better to be sharp than out of tune.

[longtermmemmory]

Can you buy a seperate seat for your chello still?

The article implies you can't any more.

[Doctor Stochastic]

How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

One, she holds the bulb and the whole universe revolves around her.

[CGTRWK]

You're right, it is no longer possible. There was a reasonable solution.

[fortunecookie]

I can see their reluctance. For every level of musician. I'm one. The actions of terrorists have made life a little more difficult for our musician friends. I play the flute, and I would be reluctant to have my flute fly in baggage. Oh I would have to, and I'd get over it, but it would surely be boxed and bubble wrapped and taped and insured, and it's not priceless and I don't belong a prestigious symphony.

[The Red Zone]

Digital, electronic keyboards do not count.

A piano is virtually always associated with the venue.

[AnAmericanMother]

All right. I just Emailed that to our choirmaster.

(I'm an alto. And yes, I wear jeans under my choir robe. But we don't have ENOUGH altos in our choir.)

[I'm ALL Right!]

Hey look!!! I found your personal website.