Thanks for the prayers, they are definitely appreciated. Our case did go through the court system, although we were dealing with juvenile offenders so it was a much different situation. I have often said that if the perpetrators were older I would have had a lot more anger towards them. Seeing as they were younger I have a lot of anger toward whatever adult taught these kids that their behavior was OK (I think the perpetrators were abused themselves in our case although the boy wouldn't admit to being hurt or anything (not surprising).
Since our case was very out of the ordinary I think the prosecutors and police really put their hearts into making sure things went to our satisfaction. I was more interested in the kids getting the help they needed to understand why they were in so much trouble than seeing them suffer, although they will be on a sexual predator list for the rest of their lives which I think is a great thing... It's like eternal probation that can't be taken off their records when they reach 18 like in other crimes.
At any rate we are all doing well now, thank the Lord. This all happened almost 8 years ago. Although we still deal with things on occasion one thing that has helped is that I myself am a survivor, so I'm able to really relate to my daughters and what they are going through and that has helped them tremendously. I also know that this isn't like a "death sentence" and with love and understanding one can really heal pretty well. Of course, there are "issues" they and I will probably always have - but who doesn't have any issues or "baggage", ya know? (o: The times when you see the most damage done is when the victim of these crimes keeps the secret for a long time.
I was greatful to have spoken to my daughters about these things before the incident, and so they came to us immediately after it happened -- I think that did more for their getting through it than anything else. I can't stress enough how important it is to talk to your children and let them know that 1.) perpetrators will lie and try to scare you out of telling (they told my daughters that they would hurt my husband and I if they told...) and 2.) it is never their fault, and no-one will be angry at them for it happening.
Thanks for listening to me ramble. I hope my insights can help others if, God forbid, anyone else finds themselves in this position.