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To: beaversmom
Sounds like my sister. She always said that she disliked babies (too dirty...smell funny...take too much time), but wound up getting pregnant when her pill failed. She wanted an abortion, but her husband refused to allow her to do it. She wanted to put the baby up for adoption, but her husband wouldn't allow that either. She refused to discuss names with her husband, refused to allow him to decorate a nursery, and when the baby was born refused to breastfeed or do much at all to care for the baby. She wouldn't change diapers (she actually loaded the baby into the car and drove across town to have our mom change them on several occasions), was very verbally abusive, and showed zero motherly instinct.

After about six months, her husband finally realized that she wasn't going to "grow out of it" and demanded that she leave. She surrendered all parental rights, they dissolved their marriage, and she hasn't seen the kid since (that was seven years ago). Her husband has since remarried, and today has several additional kids with his new wife.

Some people just aren't cut out to be parents. My sister is one of the nicest, most intelligent people you will ever meet. She is a veterinarian, regularly attends church, served in the Army for a stint, and is incredibly charitable, friendly, and outgoing. She simply had none of the "wiring" required to be a mother, and had no clue how to be one and no interest in learning. She's remarried herself nowadays, and my brother in law is a very nice guy who also has no interest in raising children (he once told me that it's partially physical...he can't have kids of his own).

The problem, I think, is that society DOES push people into parenthood who really aren't cut out for it, and who clearly state that they don't want it. When someone says "I don't want to have children", people should NOT be surprised when they are pressured into having them and end up resenting or disliking those kids. I firmly believe that God put us all here to play a role in the world, but I do NOT believe that all of our roles must include parenthood. I have three of my own and love them dearly, but not everyone needs to take that path in life.
185 posted on 08/25/2006 12:11:35 PM PDT by Arthalion
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To: Arthalion

Dennis Prager did a show about not wanting kids a month or so ago. Some people that thought they didn't want them/disliked children turned out to be wonderful parents. Some people that didn't have kids regretted it in the end. I guess it depends on the person. Interesting about your sister--how in general she's a great person but couldn't be a mom.


200 posted on 08/25/2006 12:49:30 PM PDT by beaversmom
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