Not everyone fits into what is expected of them in a religious setting.
Whether it's meeting in a crowd,
Whether it's feeling comfortable in large groups and working with them,
Whether it's the music, preaching and worship style,
Whether it's believing every word of the Bible as total truth,
Whether it's continually practicing NOT being yourself because you have literally nothing in common with the crowd The crowd that you're not only expected to not only 'fit' with, but actually act see them as a second family.
Whether it's attending prayer meeting and realizing that what is eating you alive and driving you to madness you could and would never, EVER say out loud in front of anyone in the room.
Whether it's trying repeatedly to read the Bible and just seeing a very mean, angry, female loathing/ignoring God represented.
For me it hit home when I was extremely ill one summer, and
I while I called, emailed and was visited by several close friends.... and was very safe and comfy.....
It dawned on me later that it never once crossed my mind to contact anyone at church or even the minister. They were that far out my circle of trust and comfort. Always had been, always would be.
So, as an experiment, I simply quit going. Or even beating myself up for not going to church. For the first time in my life, I actually enjoyed a Sunday!
Then Easter came and I spent the day outside in the garden, in the hammock, just watching clouds.
As for the Middle Eastern Dance component. It was the first time in my life were I was made to feel and actually believe that being a female was a good thing, and even something God would like.
Ironic, isn't it?
It sounds like you were exposed to some VERY bad teaching and teachers.
That is not G-d's fault.
But I understand how it would lead to a great deal of hurt frustration. I am sorry you had to have that experience.
Shalom.