MODERN MANNERS (Offering a Woman a Seat Is 'Creepy,' According to GQ)

New York Post ^ | August 18, 2006 | Liz Smith

[nickcarraway]

'WOMEN ARE equals now. They can fend for themselves. To offer a perfectly healthy woman a seat simply because she is a woman, however well-intentioned, is creepy. At best, she'll think you're from another country; at worst she'll feel old, or overweight enough to be perceived as pregnant."

And that is a lesson in modern manners, according to the new issue of GQ (with Clive Owen on the cover). Glenn O'Brien and other GQ scribes weigh in on e-mails, cellphones, gym etiquette, dressing for travel, how to handle chatty seatmates, sleeping with your friend's ex, online dating, wedding gifts and how to treat gay people: "Gay people don't want to freshen up the world, they just want to be a part of it." (So don't ask for makeovers and fashion tips.)

Oh, but you certainly should open doors for women: "Why? To be nice, you mannerless ape!"

[mockingbyrd]

Amen. (not just us, they are ruining it for our daughters as well.)

[Fred Hayek]

I've been to California, and got pepper sprayed for holding the door open for a woman. And no, I did not say anything to her, nor looked at her in any kind of leering manner, etc. In certain areas what we all consider "common courtesies" are considered predatory behavior. Thank you feminism.

Rural Texas is not one of those places.

[HairOfTheDog]

There's a lot of bitterness in your post, and I think it's too bad. I've never seen good manners treated with disdain no matter who I am opening the door for.

Also, I lost respect for American women in that too many of them go for the flashy guys like moths to a flame. Lightweight selection standards in men.

I'm sorry, but I've got to call BS on this one. Spend a day as a fairly plain woman in this world. You think men are complex in their selection standards? :~)

[KneelBeforeZod]

there's probably better advice in GQ than there is in WorldNutDaily

[Warren_Piece]

GQ is for fairies

[Sam Cree]

Disagree that offering a seat is creepy. GC is creepy, if this thought is typical of them.

I offered my stool to a young lady (mid 30's?) at the take out counter of an Italian place in Miami recently. She seemed slightly shocked, but pleased and appreciative.

[Tares]

Guess what she said?

"Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!"

[Finny]

Did this exact thing yesterday [offered a seat] to a young chinese woman in a class. She declined, but very politely and had a smile on her face for the rest of the class.

I've been in the rueful position of having a gentleman offer me, a perfectly healthy woman, his seat. Half of me wants to respond the way the gal did above -- pleased, but not feeling the need of it. The other half of me remembers I'm not so young anymore, though I feel about 15 (!) ... plus a Steinbeck truism of human nature: that sometimes you're the one doing the person a favor when you accept a favor.

May God bless us with Gentlemen, always!

[gcruse]

"To offer a perfectly healthy woman a seat simply because she is a woman, however well-intentioned, is creepy. At best, she'll think you're from another country; at worst she'll feel old, or overweight enough to be perceived as pregnant.""

It's worse. It's tantamount to sexual assault these days to offer anything to any woman. What you'll get, at best, is the insulted look of someone who thinks she's being hit on. Feh.

[OldArmy52]

I wasn't discussing American men, Miss.
My opinion of American men is not very high either.
Too many American men go after the women whose good looks are skin deep.

Time and toil will take the youthful good looks from anyone in time. But inner beauty lasts.

[Zeon Cowboy]

"I've been to California, and got pepper sprayed for holding the door open for a woman."

Whoa! I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but still...

[HairOfTheDog]

My opinion of American men is not very high either.

Too bad, because I think we're the greatest country, with the most fascinating people on God's green earth :~)

I think debates like this are hilarious... After thousands of years of increasing civilization, we're as clumsy about dealing with each other as we were when we started. :~)

[sunvalley]

As a woman, I am impressed and flattered when a door is held open for me. As a respectable person, I hold the door open for others. Good manners should be universal. Anyone who ponders the use of manners is obviously dim-witted.

[Tall_Texan]

I had my wife ask a gay neighbor for his opinion on drapes she was thinking about buying for the dining room and also his opinion on whether her purse went with her dress.

"Men depend on women to tell them what looks good. Women depend on some French faggot to tell them what looks good."

- Tall_Texan

[SFC Chromey]

...or as another Man's mangazine has quoted, "No matter how hot a woman is there is some man somewhere, tired of her $#!+"

[sunvalley]

Not true. There are still some ladies out here who appreciate good manners. I don't expect doors to be held open for me just because I'm a woman. If I am entering an establishment ahead of someone, I hold the door open for him/her. It is just plain disrespectful to do otherwise.

[gcruse]

"If a woman acts like a raging, screeching harpy because of your good manners, then you should know that's not the woman for you."

You see, that's the problem. When I offer a woman a seat, I'm not looking at someone "for me." It's the confusion of courtesy with courting that makes such a mess of things.

[GeronL]

I don't read magazines anymore. I have the Net.

[Tall_Texan]

I like the manners in Texas; it reminds me of California back in the '60s. The 1860s, that is.

We Texans also have the death penalty - and we use it! Just like in the 1860s. Another part of modern chivalry lost on most of the rest of the country - protecting our wimmenfolk from low-life varmints who might interfere with their enjoyment of life.

[Smokin' Joe]

I reckon I'm just not the "GQ" type. SHeesh.