Posted on 08/18/2006 9:52:44 AM PDT by CougarGA7
An Action Plan to Thwart Airline Terrorism
I’ve been thinking about airline safety for almost 5 years now. With today’s current atmosphere of airline scares, defeated terror attempts and general tension overall I decided that an action plan was needed to discourage terrorists from attempting their acts on aircraft in the first place.
Step 1. The evening prior to your flight go to any grocery store and buy some form of pork. Bacon being the most recognizable, I would highly recommend it. You will also need a zip lock bag so purchase some at this time if you don’t have any available to you. Note: A pork chop with the bone still in will likely be confiscated from you in security so if you are going that route I recommend a butterfly cut.
Step 2. The day of your flight place several slices of the bacon or other form of pork in a zip lock bag and put in your carry on bag.
Step 3. Upon settling into your seat place the zip lock bag in the seat pocket in front of you for easy access. You do not need to be discrete about this. In the event that you happen to be sitting next to one of the potential attackers they will know full well that you are armed too which may give them pause.
Step 4. If terrorist attempt to hijack the craft then pull the bacon out. Step boldly out into the aisle with bacon in hand and let them know that you are more than willing to use it on them. Hopefully you will not be the only one armed with Sus domesticus so you will have backup.
Step 5. Now that the terrorists are subdued trembling with the knowledge of how close they came to losing 72 virgins, turn them over to the authorities.
Step 6. When disembarking the plane DON’T FORGET TO TAKE THE SWINE WITH YOU. It could get a bit gamey.
You have now done your part to keep our airways safe. Good job.
Note: Do not try this with Sizzlean. It is not a valid pork product.
I love that label. Chopped pork and ham.
I'm pretty sure that ham is pork.
You're right so I wonder ......are muslims circumcised? If not, then uncircumcised males can not fly. Personally, I think I would feel safe with a plane load of bacon eating circumcised males.....LOL
How about a separate airline, called Terrorist Airlines. Put all the enemy held at Gitmo on TA planes and have the Air Force shoot them down midway to Timbuktu. That would reduce Federal spending.
Men AND WOMEN!!!!
Oh...........the Humanity.......
My father speaks of working with Muslims in the army in the late '50s.
He said they would be at the bar and drinking, when someone would say, "Hey, Muslims aren't supposed to drink!"
The Muslim would say, "Islam says we are not to drink a drop of alcohol."
Then he would dip his finger in his drink and flick a drop on the floor and say, "That's the drop I'm not drinking."
I'm more inclined to declare a new Palistenian state on an island that doubles as a naval bombing range....I do have a place in mind.
Gelded?
Interesting.
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