Posted on 08/10/2006 4:13:23 PM PDT by Fishtalk
Below is a little missive I ripped out just as soon as I heard about MS. Magazine’s attempts to recruit abortion supporters by asking them to supply their names and their stories.
In a fit, an absolute fit of pique, I typed up my own abortion story. Then I saved it on the hard drive and pondered all week how to deal with my narrative of anger and angst.
I don’t want to put it on my own Blog as frankly-MS. Magazine doesn’t realize this-I am certainly not at all proud of my story.
Yet I wonder if the millions of women (yes, I bet there are that many) who had abortions REALLY told their story, well I wonder if MS. Magazine would be so damn smug with itself on this cause they champion so proudly.
Abortion is NEVER a happy thing, no mind the harpies who brought us this so-called “constitutional right”.
I also pondered the consequences of both identifying myself AND the male player in my sordid tale. I don’t want to get sued.
Still considering and steaming with a message that I desperately want to share, I think of submitting it to one of the online Blogs and punditry sites. But I get concerned. It might not be something they want to post and then I would have gone and identified myself to complete strangers for nothing.
So I decided to post my story in its entirety right here on FreeRepublic. Understand I am scared senseless to do this as I am a right regular poster on this site and really don’t want to be judged harshly.
Then again, when a story sits and boils inside, well it keeps boiling inside.
Below is my own abortion story in response to MS. Magazine’s request. Anyone may link to this post if it is deemed worthy. Someday I might get brave enough to post it on my Blog. If I’m lucky maybe no one will see this story and hey, I still worry about the guy involved in all this. No I didn’t put his name but he’ll know it’s him. Just hope I don’t get sued.
Understand also that this happened to me thirty years ago. Yes indeed, yon ladies and gems, I was a fresh young thing. Roe versus Wade had just been decided. I was bright, happening and intelligent. I was a liberated woman.
Now let MS. Magazine know how a woman feels deep into mid-life when past deeds are re-visited and thought processes change.
Do you think I should send my abortion story to them?
Do You Really Want to Know About My Abortion?
"Ms. Magazine's latest pro-abortion message invites women and girls who have undergone the procedure to submit their names for inclusion in the magazine and sign an online petition stating that "I have had an abortion."The petition targets the recent South Dakota abortion ban, which has been stayed until voters in the state decide on the November ballot whether they want to overturn the ban."
So this missive passes over my Internet-surfing monitor and I pause.
Ms. Magazine. Once upon a time I subscribed to Ms. Magazine. Was a subscriber for over ten years. Once upon a time I was a women's libber of the highest order. Once upon a time I had an abortion and now is the time for me to step right up, be a "manly man" about it, and tell my story.
Ms. Magazine is not going to like it all.
In my pause I ponder publicly identifying myself. For as the article in the link indicates, women are very reluctant to admit beyond girlfriend confidences that they have had an abortion. Although Ms. Magazine and the feminists behind it truly want women to be proud of that which they have managed to gain for the females of this nation: that of abortion on demand. Once upon a time I thought this was a very neat thing. It was 1976, a mere five years after the Supreme Court invented the new abortion right that they somehow saw in our constitution. I was a fresh 25 years of age, divorced and heartbroken after my childhood sweetheart and husband left me. I had a very good job, my own home, was three years into college, night school and it was tough, and not at all unattractive in that manner of 25 year old females. Hey, I was happening, hip, cool and all that the feminists should have adored.
Next I must ponder, seriously, telling my story in any public fashion for fear of identifying the male involved in this abortion. Not that I know if he can do anything about it, like sue me or anything. And not that I've laid eyeballs on him for almost 30 years, but if he should read the story, he will know it is him. Though I won't give his name, I'm not going to be kind to him at all.
So I will identify myself via a link to my Blog. I will not post this to my Blog but I will show some courage because, well Ms. Magazine wants me to and I can't let down Gloria Steinham, who was part and parcel of my own abortion experience.
His name was Gregory (NOT!) and he came into my life when my life had finally settled down after my sad divorce. I had a house, a result of my divorce settlement. Gregory had a job with a government contractor which paid well. We were both college educated, free, monetarily secure and we talked of a future together. We often talked of our future children, which Gregory would refer to as "little Yegory" in a play on his name. I knew what I wanted: a happy marriage, perhaps two children, my college degree and a good job. Gregory knew what I wanted as I often told him. What I wanted was fairly typical of females my age although it was archaic to admit it in that era of raging feminism.
It's no mind how on earth I got pregnant because birth control pills were widely available. I don't know why I didn't use them but I did use some form of birth control. Which didn't work.
Because I was young and had no children as of yet, I wasn't paying attention to such as cycles. At some point the pregnancy advanced beyond the first trimester before even my naïve self got a clue. We didn't have pregnancy tests that could bought in the grocery thus it was a way bigger deal to check a possible pregnancy test than it is today.
There was little time. On Wednesday I found out I was pregnant and on the following Friday I had an abortion.
Gregory, sweet thing, had arranged the whole thing. As I recall, earlier that week Gregory told me to please don't call him at work with the pregnancy test results and I told him I wouldn't. It would "upset" him. As I recall, when I got the results from the doctor I called Gregory right up and told him because why should only I know? Goes to Gregory's character.
My company-paid health insurance covered the abortion but there was a $200 deductible. Which Gregory paid out his own pocket, driving over fifty miles to the hospital that would be doing the abortion because they wouldn't even schedule a room until the deductible was paid. Goodness Gregory even spent the night at my house the night before the abortion (no, we didn't live together) as he was "concerned" for me.
Come the Friday, Gregory helped me to the car and drove steadily and purposefully to the abortion clinic.
Why did Gregory and I choose to have an abortion? Frankly, I have no idea. I do know that when something so monumental happens and there is only a space of two days to make a decision, common sense and morality sometimes goes out the window. I also know that Gregory suggested the abortion because he wasn't "ready" and as my young self saw it, I didn't want to have a baby with a man of age 35 who wasn't "ready". Had I more time to think about it, had Gregory not jumped through every hoop on the planet to facilitate all this, had the abortion clinic not been in such a hurry for as it was they were pushing the limit with my abortion then well beyond the first trimester, had any or all of these things changed in terms of the timing, I don't think I would have had that abortion.
Which does not matter, frankly, because Gregory and I are both murderers and it isn't easy admitting you're a murderer. To add to the intrigue, Gregory was a dyed-in-the-wool Conservative, was even a member of the John Birch society. He regularly ranted about politics, liberals and the coming domination of the Communists. I was, a sweet, young and dewy-eyed thing, a liberal. This was during the era of Richard Nixon. I brazenly put a bumper sticker on my car that read "Don't Blame Me, I Didn't Vote For Him". Gregory ripped the bumper sticker off of my car, my car! Right in my own driveway in front of my own house!
We fought about politics all the time-I the liberal, he the "manly man" conservative. I urge anyone reading this to visit my Blog as this is not meant as a slam against male conservatives. I am much older now, and much wiser. Gregory was no manly-man and now I truly understand the definition of the term.
The man killed his own child.
Gloria Steinham and Ms Magazine aren't going to like this at all.
After the abortion, which was so painful that I suffered physically for almost a month afterward, Gregory and I continued to see each other but not for long. I threw Gregory over the bow just as soon as I could because, hey, he was a creep and a hypocrite. At some point we've all been there and done that.
I am quite sure that Gregory has never been married because, well that was the whole problem as any discerning reader, especially female readers, could see way up in this missive. To his "credit", I suppose, Gregory did have quite the mental breakdown after that abortion and begged me to forgive him. While I, in the meantime, waited until an appropriate amount of time then I dumped him. He threatened to kill himself. He called my co-workers and begged them to put me on the phone. Finally I had to call his parents and ask them to please go over there and deal with Gregory. I was nice about it and everything but Gregory was out of my life and it was my legal right to decide this.
As for me, I went on to get married and I did have a daughter. A daughter who would not be here if it were not for that abortion. Had I not had that abortion I would have been giving birth to Gregory's baby around the time my daughter was conceived. I've often justified that abortion by rationalizing that one child was lost but another child was born that wouldn't have been.
What a crock.
Hey, Ms. Magazine...that's my abortion story. If you really cared about the females you purportedly represent, you'd have ensured that pregnant women considering an abortion would have a required length of time before actually undergoing the procedure. If you really cared about the females you represent, you would have set term limits and prevented women like me from aborting a child that might well have survived outside the womb. If you really cared about the females you represent, you'd have demanded counseling and care for women like me who have Gregorys behind the scenes and pulling the strings. Gregory likes Ms. Magazine, however.
I changed fate, God's plan, and murdered a baby. While I might be tough on Gregory, I admit my part in the crime. I can't change it and for sure I will pay some eternal price for it after my death. Not to mention the hurt and pain I suffer when I ponder what that little life would have been had it not had two of the most selfish parents on the planet.
It's not nice. Not nice at all.
That's my abortion story.
ping
"I say this because there's always two sides to a story. I believe the poster and her heartfelt story. But that's HER story and everyone's story is different."
But the stories for the babies are always the same.
Do you really think Hildy considers the ones terminated in abortion to be alive children?
Thank you for sharing this with us. You'll be in my prayers.
"Do you really think Hildy considers the ones terminated in abortion to be alive children?"
I don't have a clue what she really thinks. I just notice a trend to concentrate on the woman's story - the woman's problems - and I'm just pointing out that there is another perspective concerning the ones who are being led into the slaughterhouses. They have a "story" too - but have no voice to tell it.
In my own personal experience...I have had very good friends, coworkers, and aquaintances tell me their own stories about abortion in their lives. Most were regretful...some were not.
Either way the outcome was the same for the babies.
My son is pro-life, however, and he told her if she had the abortion, he would never talk to her again. So she decided to give the baby up for adoption instead. But when we went for her first ultrasound and she saw her daughter move, she decided to keep her.
Teegan will be 3 in 2 weeks. She's gorgeous, smart, funny, loving, and adorable. Her mother is still in love with her father but he does not love her, so they live apart. It's difficult but it sure beats the alternative.
Teegan comes over to her Daddy's house every weekend (he is living at home temporarily so it's really Grandma's and Papa's house), so her Daddy is very much involved in her life. She is incredibly lucky to have a family who adores her, and to have life.
God speed, Fishtalk!
All the best to you, Pat.
"Teegan will be 3 in 2 weeks. She's gorgeous, smart, funny, loving, and adorable"
Congratulation!
It isn't an "ideal" situation, but it certainly does beat the alternative.
If the mother never had that change of heart, she too could have said someday "my life is better now because of abortion" - But that is only because she never would have experienced the joy and love of little Teegan.
Wow! First of all, I am a huge pro-lifer and really dispise abortion. However, I would like to outlaw abortion beginning today. I can't very well hate you or even be disgusted by you for something that happened so long ago. What my thoughts of you are that you are a gutsy lady, brave and a FREEPER. lol. What I believe you did and do today is educate young women on the negatives of abortion and through your experience save more babies than even you realize. Thank you for your story. I wish you the best. I am glad that you have a daughter that has a mother who learned from her mistakes and in the long run is a better parent for it. God Bless you!!!!
They have lives to go on with because they weren't chopped up by an abortionist.
Cordially,
God bless you!
Nothing we said seemed to be working but then one day she told her boss she was pregnant and wasn't sure what to do. It turns out he had 3 adopted children and 2 of them were adopted thru Catholic Social Services, which I had been telling her about. And THAT turned out to be the thing that changed her mind.
Funny how God works...
I went to tell my daughter (who was 14 at the time) that the abortion wasn't going to happen, and she burst into tears. She told me she had been crying herself to sleep every night because of the potential loss of her niece/nephew.
The pain from abortion is far greater than it appears.
I have read your posts and am sorry that anybody put you down for your decisions. I know that I get very nasty when it comes to abortion, but never personally attack a person. In fact, I had no idea of your past. Again you to me are as gutsy and brave as the original poster. God Bless you too!!!!
Confession is good for the soul. Coming to grips with who one is and what one has done can be very painful, for those whose conscience has not been seared beyond recognition. I know from experience. Here is the experience of another poster, recently shared, that may be of some help to you. .
The particulars of your story, and the effects of the deed on all involved, including the father, sadly conform to one lady said about it some time ago:
"America needs no words from me to see how your decision in Roe v. Wade has deformed a great nation. The so-called right to abortion has pitted mothers against their children and women against men. It has sown violence and discord at the heart of the most intimate human relationships. It has aggravated the derogation of the father's role in an increasingly fatherless society. It has portrayed the greatest of gifts -- a child -- as a competitor, an intrusion, and an inconvenience. It has nominally accorded mothers unfettered dominion over the independent lives of their physically dependent sons and daughters"
And, in granting this unconscionable power, it has exposed many women to unjust and selfish demands from their husbands or other sexual partners. Human rights are not a privilege conferred by government. They are every human being's entitlement by virtue of his humanity. The right to life does not depend, and must not be declared to be contingent, on the pleasure of anyone else, not even a parent or a sovereign." (Mother Theresa -- "Notable and Quotable," Wall Street Journal, 2/25/94, p. A14)
"But I feel that the greatest destroyer of peace today is abortion, because it is a war against the child - a direct killing of the innocent child - murder by the mother herself. And if we accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another? How do we persuade a woman not to have an abortion? As always, we must persuade her with love, and we remind ourselves that love means to be willing to give until it hurts. Jesus gave even his life to love us. So the mother who is thinking of abortion, should be helped to love - that is, to give until it hurts her plans, or her free time, to respect the life of her child. The father of that child, whoever he is, must also give until it hurts. By abortion, the mother does not learn to love, but kills even her own child to solve her problems. And by abortion, the father is told that he does not have to take any responsibility at all for the child he has brought into the world. That father is likely to put other women into the same trouble. So abortion just leads to more abortion. Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching the people to love, but to use any violence to get what they want. That is why the greatest destroyer of love and peace is abortion. "
Mother Theresa
Cordially,
"Before either my mother or my older sister were born my mom was pregnant with another potential son. Towards the end of the pregnancy she became extremely anemic and almost died.
If she had not had an abortion, she most likely would have died, and I wouldn't be here today."
Maybe someone with a medical background can help me clear up my confusion here.
I fail to see how an abortion "at the end of the pregnancy" poses any LESS of a risk to an anemic woman than a live birth or C-section. The uterus still has to shed the lining, the placenta still has to come out, and on top of that you are introducing sharp instruments into the womb to dismember the baby. It is a common side affect of abortion that these instruments can puncture the uterus and pose a greater risk to bleeding.
It would seem that a good doctor would attempt to save both the baby and the mother through early induction or c-section.
At age 20, 2 months after I became engaged I found out I was pregnant.
Despite the engagement I had many friends and relatives urging me not to "ruin my life" by having a baby so young before we had a chance to get our feet underneath us.
We had no money, we were excited about the marriage, but not ready for parenthood yet. My fiance had a mountain of student loan debt.
In the eyes of the "world" - there were many good reasons to trot off to the local abortion clinic.
Ironically - it was my good friends who had already had abortions that urged me not to do it. They were suffering. They felt they had been "had". The clinic gave them the 'ole "clump of cells" routine and told them they could move on with their lives.
Later they learned this was all a lie and wish they could have done it differently.
And really...they were only telling me what I already knew in my heart - that this was a living growing human life.
I had made my "choice" when I participated in her conception.
The result is that now she is a beautiful young women who is getting ready to leave the nest for college. She has younger brothers and sisters. I am also thankful for a long and happy marriage that most likely never would have made it had we aborted our own baby.
I could be wealthier, I could have invested more time into a career and status....but when I look at my husband and children I am very pleased with the choices we made.
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