Since Vietnam I've been comparing and contrasting my two tours (67 and 69/70). I didn't get married until after my second tour but a lot of my friends were. The typical scenario was they gutted it out for the first tour and had a wonderful R&R in Hawaii. When it came time for the second tour, the fire was gone and the wife waited about two and a half minutes before getting involved with someone else. My room mate on my second tour got a 'dear john' a couple of months in. Not being married I didn't understand his breakdown.
I see marriages crumble all the time in the navy. Infidelity among military spouses (and the deployed soldiers themselves) is rampant and the destruction it brings is devastating. It is hard to blame the cheating spouse. They thought they could be strong only to find that they couldn't. The loneliness was just too much to take.
My heart breaks for these soldiers and their families and I only hope that they have the strength to see this through. It is not easy.
From leadpenny:
Since Vietnam I've been comparing and contrasting my two tours (67 and 69/70). I didn't get married until after my second tour but a lot of my friends were. The typical scenario was they gutted it out for the first tour and had a wonderful R&R in Hawaii. When it came time for the second tour, the fire was gone and the wife waited about two and a half minutes before getting involved with someone else. My room mate on my second tour got a 'dear john' a couple of months in. Not being married I didn't understand his breakdown.
It appears this is what happened to Andrew Velez (Army: Second son's death was suicide). Comments by the father on local TV and radio last night indicate she was cheating on him:
Mr. Velez says the combination of day-to-day forces of war, the loss of Freddy and marital problems likely influenced Andrew’s decision to take his life. He called this a “monster.”
“You’re overseas fighting a war for a country, a flag, and a family and then you get news that there is another man in your home trying to run your household,” Roy said. “What are you suppose to respond? We know that it was a self-inflicted wound, from a .249 rifle, we know that there was a last phone call made. Veronica told me that Andrew was upset. I asked her ‘at what?’ and she said it was just personal stuff…and it was none of my business. Is it because he didn’t get enough psychological evaluation? Or was it because of the marital problems? His wife had asked him for a divorce. Who holds the smoking gun?”
Lubbock Soldier Laid to Rest